One of my favorite thing about the start of new Real Housewives seasons is the revelation of the stars tag lines in the show introductions. It sets the tone for the season and hints at what we can expect from the cast members. That’s why I wish the Vanderpump Rules cast had tag lines each season.
Unfortunately, I have zero power at Bravo, but I put a lot of thought into this and came up with some ideas in case Andy Cohen, or whoever else is important at the network, wants to borrow some of my words for inspiration.
When Eden Sassoon rolled the dice by confessing secrets to Lisa Vanderpump this week on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, she won big. At least, that is how she sees it. After sharing information that Lisa Rinna had given her about Kim Richards being “mostly sober” and “this close to dying,” Eden feels like the group may understand her meddling a bit better now. (But, let’s get real: It was still intrusive and creepy as hell!)
Eden explains, “It was very important that I had that lunch with Vanderpump. She told me straight up that I should not mess with her friend Kyle [Richards]. I respected that and her so much! I didn’t have a chance to tell anyone about what Lisa Rinna had told me. Well maybe it was that I didn’t want to make the situation worse for Rinna, because I didn’t want to be gossiping about my ‘friend.’ But when I saw what Rinna was doing to me, you know, pretending like she didn’t tell me that ‘Kim is near death,’ not defending me in any situation with Kyle and Kim, and acting like I was obsessed with Kim’s sobriety, I had to speak the #TRUTH.”
Sometimes I get a little caught up as a super fan and forget that Vanderpump Rules and Lisa Vanderpump’s SUR restaurant are not always one in the same. There are plenty of SUR employees that don’t get any air time on the Bravo show. Nevertheless, I can’t help my association, and my mind was racing when I saw LVPlooking for SUR employees on Twitter.
Is this Lisa’s way of trying to shake things up on her (second) reality show? I mean, I know Lisa’s restaurants have managers and other people who could interview potential employees, so it just seemed a little out of left field for the big boss to tweet about wanting new waitresses and bartenders.
Lipsa may have been having a “mad moment” when she told Eden all about Kim Richards‘ very non-sober life (allegedly!), but Eden remembered every single word, which propelled her annoying badgering of the Twisted Sisters Richards about needing her help. Eden, tired of being hung out to dry in the cold whipping winds of Housewives, came to pay her respect to the queen, Lisa Vanderpump, beseeching her to advocate on her behalf.
Sniff, sniff. Waving our hankies at Ladies Of London as it recedes on a slow tide of broken friendships, dusty castles, and tear-stained titles is all we can do now. Season three left us with more questions than answers. Like, is Caroline Stanbury okay with Sophie Stanbury and Adela King these days? (Answer: yes, according to recent Instagram posts.) Will Julie Montagu be able to stop vibrating long enough to save Mapperton, one Made In China tchotchke at a time? Can Juliet Angus possibly survive in London, sans Caroline S handing her marching orders?
And more to the point, will Marissa Hermer’s balls-to-the-wall press junket this week work in securing her a future spot on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills? Or at least a meeting with Lisa Vanderpump about hubby Matt Hermer’s alleged plans to open a club in West Hollywood? (Because if that sh*t ain’t transparent, I don’t know what is.) Alas, one final, painful question remains: Will Bravo cancel Ladies Of London now that two of its cast members are, well, not in London anymore? Although Marissa and Caroline S likely plan on spending summers back in the UK, that might not be reason enough to keep filming. Maybe a cast shakeup will come our way. But I refuse to accept a dire outcome yet. So, chin up, good people! For now, we must keep calm and snark on! Because this finale was a doozie.
We’ve been ranking all the Real Housewives from every season, every franchise and its finally down to the final few. The queens of Bravo, if you will. Click here for Part 1 and Part 2 of our ranking.
What separates a good Housewife from a great one? For me, it’s the longevity of their dramas. Will their actions or comments forever define a franchise as Teresa Giudice‘s table flip did for New Jersey, or NeNe Leakes‘ “Close your legs to married men, Wig!” on Atlanta? A great Housewife doesn’t necessarily have to be likable, but she does have to be memorable, and defining. When you think of a particular show which Housewife comes to mind.
You guys, it’s Katie Maloney‘s life, she can ruin it if she wants to, but everyone else better cheer, clap, and act happy! Frankly I’m confused about what’s even going on with Vanderpump Rules. It is all over the place – like we went from church toJax Taylor and Tom Sandoval trying on Lisa Vanderpump‘s bras to dress in drag for Tom Schwartz‘s bachelor party. Read that sentence back to yourself and tell me this show isn’t perplexing?
I don’t know about that Erika Jayne character, but I am digging Erika Girardi on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills lately. Is it her icy dismissal of the grotesque and annoyingPK Kemsley? Or her schoolgirl giddiness when reading for a bit part on The Young And The Restless with Eileen Davidson? Maybe it’s her ability to let panytgate go long before the others caught up? Nah. It HAS to be because Yolanda Foster-Hadid is gone! That must be it. In any case, she wins this year for Most Improved Housewife in my book.
In her blog, Erika recounts her nervousness on set at Y&R, the “INCREDIBLE” location of Kyle Richards’super cheesy Great Gatsby party, and the relentless sobriety-story-sniffing of Eden Sassoon. But first, Erika praises Lisa R’s barbecue: “This week Lisa Rinna is having a real deal barbecue. Like, a grill and burgers and jeans barbecue. I love it. She has such a sweet family. Delilah Belle and Amelia Gray are two well-raised, bright, young women, and I enjoy getting to know them more and more.”