Today I come to tell a tale about the World’s Greatest DJ, who was persecuted and stalked, mercilessly harassed, and run out of clubs, all because the world wanted to possess his art and his talent. Naturally, I speak of James Kennedy, The White Kanye, and the rapper on the run from his tormentor Jax Taylor. Such are songs of sorrow played out on Vanderpump Rules.
Oh, last night was a doozy, filled with Ariana Madix‘s infamous sulk and the slow emancipation of Scheana Marie as she suddenly blinked into the light as it dawned on her that Stassi Schroeder‘s power and possession was an elaborate ruse. If only Katie Maloney would see such signs, but alas she’s too busy painting squiggly black lines over the sunrise of truth.
Now that Lala Kent isn’t around to be the resident target, Kristen Doute takes aim at former boyfriend/door-spitter James Kennedy this week. On tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Kristen rounds up two of James’ rumored flings, Ellie and GG, to crash his big DJ gig and expose him for the cheater she hears he is.
Kristen and the crew sit back and watch the drama unfold as they confront James’ girlfriend, Raquel Leviss, telling her she’s delusional to think he’s loyal. Obviously things do not go well much to Kristen’s glee. Tom Sandoval looks on in horror, knowing what kind of crazy is about to be unleashed.
Using her weekly blog to, as she says, “dissect these complicated dynamics,” Lisa is confused about why Eden Sassoon has Kim Richards‘ sobriety (or lack thereof) so on her radar. “For the life of me, I cannot comprehend how this story is so rapidly progressing in a direction I didn’t predict… How can one diagnose another individual after a fleeting interaction? ” Lisa muses.
I cannot believe that this legal battle between Brandi Glanville and Joanna Krupa is still a hot news topic. This whole thing has been dragging on for too long. During a 2013 Watch What Happens Live episode, Brandi said that Joanna had an affair with Yolanda Foster’s ex husband Mohamed Hadid and that he said Joanna’s vagina smelled in a conversation that Lisa Vanderpumpwas allegedly present for. Obviously that comment didn’t sit well with Joanna and she filed suit against Glanville and it’s been crazy drama ever since.
Now, Joanna has been court ordered to hand over her gynecological records, financial records, and there are a plethora of Bravolebrities continuing to be pulled into the case as witnesses.
Questions and utter confusion about sobriety abound on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, but Eileen Davidson thinks everyone should just shut their traps about it. And I’m beginning to agree. It’s taken over the theme of this season’s RHOBH, and gives life to Kim Richards’ many, many issues without offering any real solutions. Not a viable – or even very interesting – storyline, to be sure.
Eileen blogs about Eden Sassoon’s meddling, Dorit Kemsley’s penchant for broadcasting rumors, and her desire to “hit the reset button” on just about everything. After Eileen shares the sad news that her family has experienced “another tragic loss” recently, she expresses the desire to get “back on track after last week’s lunch” with Dorit. Rollerblading helped, even though there was no tequila to be had!
Oh Lisa Vanderpump – you saucy minx! I see your redemption campaign, smiling blithely, supremely feigning ignorance to any possible schemes, handing Dorit Kemsley a mirror and instructing her how to amputate her nose to spite her face, defending the maligned, innocent Kim Richards… I think Ms. LVP missed her calling in politics!
Last night had a tricky little moment between LVP and Dorit, didn’t it? Dorito had descended from her Nacho Cheese Delusions and spent the entire episode getting into my good graces, and also the good graces of Lipsa and Eileen Davidson, but in the last few moments, as if a switch was flipped, she all of a sudden turned a bit vituperative. Seeming to plant, to a scandalized, yet dismissive LVP that Lipsa is carrying around baggies of drugs. Now, before LVP could start alerting the police, Dorit was quick to add, as an afterthought that, the pills were “mostly” vitamins.
I already disliked the word “panties,” but after the (way too drawn out) pantygate story line on this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I feel like if I never hear it ever again it wouldn’t be enough for me. I am hoping that after Dorit Kemsley’s apology tour that she is really done with talking about Erika Jayne’s lack of undies and her various “misunderstandings” with Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson. I just want something new to happen in the next episode.
I am so over the repetitive nature of RHOBHthis season. I need an actual story line to watch. After many seasons of multiple plots per episode, the fans were subjected to the horrible Season 6 centered all around Munchausen accusations. This season is a teeny bit better, but we need new things to go down in the upcoming episodes and no more mentions of drama that has already been overly discussed.
Really Vanderpump Rules has come down to a Fund-Rager and a contrived roast of Jax Taylor, which coincidentally happened while Brittany Cartwright‘s extra-crispy mama is in town? It’s so contrived. All of it. And it really frosts my lipstick.
But first, it’s Tom 1‘s party and everyone will cry if they want to, cry if they want to – you would cry too if these friends happened to you! The boys really got the birthday shafts, didn’t they – the girls got trips to Montauk and NASCAR, and they get made fun of and forced to do charity work. HA.
Well, Tom turned an indeterminate shade of 30 and celebrated not by raising awareness for himself or his attuned and wrinkle-free skin, but by inviting all of his friends to donate their easily-earned money to charity. Kristen Doute brought her crisp $20, handed it to the collection emcee and announced that now she has full-license to be bad for all eternity in exchange for this one good deed. Jax didn’t have that luck – his card was declined when he tried to give a measly $100. His karma, as always, remains, in despair.