Hey guys – Brandi Glanville doesn’t like people who hold grudges, which is why she’s been whining about Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes for the last zillion years. Ok, Ok… maybe an unfair example, but what I really mean is Brandi doesn’t like people who hold grudges against her for her bad behavior. So basically she doesn’t like being held accountable, so stoppit Lisa Vanderpump!
All Brandi wants for Christmas is for Lisa to show up at her Housewarming Party way out in the valley, which is a place Lisa hasn’t been since 1977 when after partying with the Rolling Stones they got lost searching for Keith Richards’ sanity. It happens. Anyway, Lisa has never managed to find her way back there again and for that reason, Brandi accuses her of holding onto anger and blaming her for everything. OMG!
This week the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills attended a soiree at Kyle Richards which was masquerading as a casual BBQ, or the way ‘Look how rich I am Kathy Hilton!’ Kyle throws a BBQ (without Coors Light, hot dogs, or chips & dip, which is how ‘Look How Not Rich I Am World!’ me throws a BBQ). Brandi expects us to believe she had fun pestering Lisa all over the smallest house in BH.
Eileen Davidson is finally mingling with the group. They start her off gently, with the upper echelons of Malibu society, to ease her into the currant of RHOBH, by sending her off to lunch with Yolanda Foster, as supervised by Lipsa. Eileen is surprised to learn she and Yolanda have several things in common: children, anguish over the amount of work required of bossing servants around, and a propensity for micromanaging toilet cleaning. Yolanda expects us to believe she cleans her own toilets. Correction: I believe she cleans My Love‘s toilet so she has an excuse to snoop through his personal quarters. You know, just in case he has a few wayward piano keys or Grammys tucked away!
Eileen and Yolanda get along famously. Lisa is relieved. Her job here is done – now she can move on to more pressing personal matters, traveling to her hometown of Medford, OR to help her parents move out of her childhood home. To say it’s sad is an understatement, but it’s also touching and a really nice illustration that Lipsa has a kind soul, a good heart, and a down-to-earth, lovable spirit. She brings her teenaged daughters along with her. They are scoffish about Medford – even Lisa admits she never felt like she fit-in in small-town Oregon, because she was always dying to breakout her inner fabulosity – or her hoo-ha, preferably both (she admitted to wearing skirts so short you could practically see her “hoo-ha”).
Does denial grow on trees in sunny California? What about psychosis? I mean, it must, right if Vanderpump Rules is any indication of life in LA. Last night Katie Maloney had an awakening and Tom Sandoval had a’shakening when he realized that Kristen Doute really is stalking him and he is going to end up the subject of a cautionary tale seen on Lifetime. Hey – I’d watch, but only if they cast an actor with better hair.
Lisa Vanderpump is swanning around Villa Blanca, pruning roses, whistling while she works, conversing with birds when one of her 7 gnomes – Sleazy – arrives. Jax Taylor is just hoping for some free food – and some permission to start “banging” the new hostess Vail. Lisa immediately attempts to put the breaks on that notion by snipping the pruning sheers near Jax’s poker.
Before Lisa even has the opportunity to take off her transparent unicorn leather gardening gloves (special edition Gucci), gnome 2 – Sniffly – arrives to burst in to tears. Katie blames being allergic to decent human beings and scents other than stale booze for her watery eyes. She tells Lisa that Tom 2 would rather have Jax in his life than Katie, but she doesn’t want to be alone. What if she turns into Kristen?!
After all Lisa Vanderpump has done for ungrateful little wench Stassi Schroeder, she is furious that the former waitress turned wannabe grownup is insulting both her and SUR!
I don’t know why Lisa is surprised that Stassi is a self-righteous, egotistical, entitled brat – she’s been like that from her first minutes on Vanderpump Rules, but this season as Stassi has no storyline and is basically just roaming around the streets of LA interjecting into matters of SURver’s hearts for camera time, and Stassi is still complaining! Well, in fairness she doesn’t really have much else to do… except for that invisible boyfriend!
Lisa recently commented on Stassi having a hard time accepting that she’s no longer relevant at SUR. “I think Stassi’s attidue is slightly ridiculous. I mean she comes in here now like Grace Kelly,” she said in her vlog. “Just a year ago, these were her best friends. She was the leader of this pack and suddenly not one of them is good enough for her?”
Lisa and Lisa travelled to Palm Springs together, where Lisa received a star on the Walk of Fame. Calling it one of the most “poignant” moments of her life, Lisa says she was most grateful from the support she received from friends and family on that day.
“I realize why I truly enjoyed this episode as it was one that validates my choice to have been immersed in the crazy world of reality, a documentation of some of the most important and poignant moments of my life,” Lisa espouses. “A moment when time stands still and you listen to words of appreciation and support from your loved ones, people that took the time to travel two hours and stand in 115 degree heat was something I didn’t take for granted.”
With Andy in the hot seat, Brandi asked, “When was the last time you spoke to Joanna Krupa?” Andy said the Miami reunion. “Did you get food poisoning from the bad sushi that night?” snickered the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star. “She’s stunning. You can’t help the odor situation.”
Everyone is always trying to figure out which Real Housewives earn the most! Who is bringing home the most bacon per franchise – and the biggest question: who is the highest earner of them all? We’ve heard a lot of varying reports, but here comes another one speculating about the Housewives salaries.
Desperate to restore Real Housewives Of New York, Bravo tried to attract former supermodels and celebrity chefs to the franchise, but had to settle for Bethenny Frankel instead. In exchange, the network is rumored to have agreed to pay her $1 million + bonuses depending on the 7th season’s success.
Kyle opened up about Brandi‘s insults in a recent interview. “I honestly don’t listen to one thing she says anymore,” she insisted. “If she had said something like this a few years ago, I would have been upset, hurt, and so offended, but now I feel like I don’t pay attention to one thing that comes out of her mouth.”