Last night on Vanderpump Rules there was a wedding instead of cheating drama! Scheana Marie got married and it had all the tackery and whinery one would expect. What one could not expect is that she spent approximately $100,000 on disco glitter and tantrums.
Things begin with Scheana visiting Lisa Vanderpump‘s house for a pre-wedding check-in. Lisa wants to know if Scheana is really in love with Shay, the lurking hulk of gooey melted gummy bears that is about to become her permanent bedmate. Scheana is – why, she couldn’t tell you. What Scheana CAN tell you is that the heart wants what the bride wants no matter what it costs! It is HER. DAY to be pretty princess for a change, to usurp Stassi Schroeder as the unequivocal self-dubbed princess in the big pouffy dress and have all the attention ON. HER.
Lisa wonders how Scheana is paying such extravagances as 5 sets of mink eyelashes and 50,000 rhinestone-studded rose pedals… Well, since you asked, Scheana is using her lawsuit settlement! BRAKES SCREECH… what, you say? Remember when Scheana broke her teeth and had to have 6 hours of agonizing dental surgery and no one visited her in the hospital? Well Scheana sued whomever broke her teeth and got a settlement, which she is blowing on her very own Barbie dream wedding!
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!
I know Lisa Vanderpump is busy running Pump, running interference on the SUR staff, arranging flowers at Villa Blanca, and being all around the most fabulous person on the planet to get away with magenta and jade colored satin (only she can!), but I’d like to suggest she teach a class on how to be a Bravo housewife that people want to watch.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has proven time and time again that she’s classy but not stuffy, snarky without being gross, professional but not rigid, and condescending without being…well, she’s just good at being condescending, and I love it! Many of her counterparts on the other franchises could certainly benefit from her wisdom! This season, she’s distanced herself from drama, but not enough that she can’t passive aggressively comment on it. We’re seeing more of her family time, and she’s just viewing the insanity from a distance. Clearly, she’s gotten her fill of crazy on this season’s Vanderpump Rules! Her take on this week’s episode is no different.
Reality stars – past and present – turned out for OK! magazine’s pre grammy party last night at Lure nightclub in L.A. Everyone from Joanna Krupa (who chopped off her long hair) to Lisa Vanderpump and a few SUR employees and many more showed up for the night out.
Kristen Doute was fired from SUR and although she’s happy to be moving on, she admits she has some major regrets about this season of Vanderpump Rules which she refers to as “the worst!”
After involving herself in Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix‘s relationship to the point of unhealthy obsession and total stalking, Kristen insists she wasn’t as crazy as she appeared. Stating that she was still in love with Tom during filming, she describes,”At the time… I didn’t want to be with Tom – although it’s edited that way based on the things said – but at the time, we had only been broken for six months. For me that just wasn’t enough time, and he just moved on more quickly.”
Actually the Vanderpump Rules star admits she was ready to move on and although Lisa has never particularly liked her, Kritter will concede that Lisa has changed her life for the better and that her behavior was pretty inexcusable. Sort of.
“I do think that Lisa has a little bit of a vendetta against me. She doesn’t like me. We don’t get along. Our personalities just clash,” Kristen declares. “I think Lisa took some joy in doing it. I don’t think she would have had it any other way.”
Before I continue with this recap I have two points to make:
1) Can we stop with the “My gays”? No one has “gays!” Just like no one has “heteros!” I loathe the so-called possession and ownership of “gays.” Gay people are just people, who are not ubiquitously defined by their sexuality no matter what Real Housewives want us to think. Plus, whatever “gays” Kyle has cobbled together, they clearly do not love her that much to let her dress that bad! Maybe it’s passive-aggressive payback for her leading them around LA referring to them as My Gay 1, My Gay Blonde, My Gay Ladysitter…
2) Why the hell would anyone fight for possession of “My Kim”? They do realize Kims come with Kingsley. And also, at the end of the day (HA!), it’s still Kim – who is praying to a trashcan and speaking gobbledy-goop, insisting it’s a language you just haven’t learned yet! It’s just Kim taking cancer medication as a fun-zany experiment while she accidentally smokes a dildo because she confused it with the e-cigarette she bought from that kiosk in the mall, on Tuesday, errrrr… I mean Wednesday, errrr… I mean during the 9, uhhhh 7, uuummmm 5 days she was in Promises Malibu the hospital working on her tan!