Sniff, sniff. Waving our hankies at Ladies Of London as it recedes on a slow tide of broken friendships, dusty castles, and tear-stained titles is all we can do now. Season three left us with more questions than answers. Like, is Caroline Stanbury okay with Sophie Stanbury and Adela King these days? (Answer: yes, according to recent Instagram posts.) Will Julie Montagu be able to stop vibrating long enough to save Mapperton, one Made In China tchotchke at a time? Can Juliet Angus possibly survive in London, sans Caroline S handing her marching orders?
And more to the point, will Marissa Hermer’s balls-to-the-wall press junket this week work in securing her a future spot on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills? Or at least a meeting with Lisa Vanderpump about hubby Matt Hermer’s alleged plans to open a club in West Hollywood? (Because if that sh*t ain’t transparent, I don’t know what is.) Alas, one final, painful question remains: Will Bravo cancel Ladies Of London now that two of its cast members are, well, not in London anymore? Although Marissa and Caroline S likely plan on spending summers back in the UK, that might not be reason enough to keep filming. Maybe a cast shakeup will come our way. But I refuse to accept a dire outcome yet. So, chin up, good people! For now, we must keep calm and snark on! Because this finale was a doozie.
We’ve been ranking all the Real Housewives from every season, every franchise and its finally down to the final few. The queens of Bravo, if you will. Click here for Part 1 and Part 2 of our ranking.
What separates a good Housewife from a great one? For me, it’s the longevity of their dramas. Will their actions or comments forever define a franchise as Teresa Giudice‘s table flip did for New Jersey, or NeNe Leakes‘ “Close your legs to married men, Wig!” on Atlanta? A great Housewife doesn’t necessarily have to be likable, but she does have to be memorable, and defining. When you think of a particular show which Housewife comes to mind.
You guys, it’s Katie Maloney‘s life, she can ruin it if she wants to, but everyone else better cheer, clap, and act happy! Frankly I’m confused about what’s even going on with Vanderpump Rules. It is all over the place – like we went from church toJax Taylor and Tom Sandoval trying on Lisa Vanderpump‘s bras to dress in drag for Tom Schwartz‘s bachelor party. Read that sentence back to yourself and tell me this show isn’t perplexing?
I don’t know about that Erika Jayne character, but I am digging Erika Girardi on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills lately. Is it her icy dismissal of the grotesque and annoyingPK Kemsley? Or her schoolgirl giddiness when reading for a bit part on The Young And The Restless with Eileen Davidson? Maybe it’s her ability to let panytgate go long before the others caught up? Nah. It HAS to be because Yolanda Foster-Hadid is gone! That must be it. In any case, she wins this year for Most Improved Housewife in my book.
In her blog, Erika recounts her nervousness on set at Y&R, the “INCREDIBLE” location of Kyle Richards’super cheesy Great Gatsby party, and the relentless sobriety-story-sniffing of Eden Sassoon. But first, Erika praises Lisa R’s barbecue: “This week Lisa Rinna is having a real deal barbecue. Like, a grill and burgers and jeans barbecue. I love it. She has such a sweet family. Delilah Belle and Amelia Gray are two well-raised, bright, young women, and I enjoy getting to know them more and more.”
First, Lisa focuses on the good points of the episode – namely, Kyle’s party. “The party and property were gorgeous, and I knew Kyle wanted me there, so I begged Ken to cut our stay short.The flamboyancy of the flapper era was an era I would have thrived in. The sheer glamour was a sight to behold on that evening, and I was glad I made the effort to go. Everybody was resplendent in their costumes, a visual feast for all.”
Instead I’d prefer an endless loop of Lisa Vanderpump, going all 20’s gangsterina waving that long cigarette around while she purred a warning to Eden Sassoon.* Because the return of a cigarette while administering prophecy and warnings is the most classically amazing RHOBH thing ever… And this people is why LVP is my eternal favorite. Even if she is manipulating, she’s doing so with a style, glamour, and sophistication that is delightful.
LVP gives the people what they want, and the people want drama – the good kind! What people don’t want is more of Kim’s slurry excuses or Eden’s mish-mashed mumbo-jumbo. Instead put that shit in a smoothie with some of Lisa Rinna‘s Xanax!
Even though Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is not a competition show, Eden Sassoon really does seem to be living by the classic reality TV mantra, “I’m not here to make friends.” She really seems to be rubbing everyone the wrong way with her antics. She (sort of) copped to her behavior, but continues analyzing the RHOBHcast and defending her actions.
Has Eden never seen seen this show? She really needs to take a step back and be more observant before causing so many major waves with OG cast members Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump. Eden truly has no idea what she has got herself into when she decided to share her “concern” over Kim Richards.
Today I come to tell a tale about the World’s Greatest DJ, who was persecuted and stalked, mercilessly harassed, and run out of clubs, all because the world wanted to possess his art and his talent. Naturally, I speak of James Kennedy, The White Kanye, and the rapper on the run from his tormentor Jax Taylor. Such are songs of sorrow played out on Vanderpump Rules.
Oh, last night was a doozy, filled with Ariana Madix‘s infamous sulk and the slow emancipation of Scheana Marie as she suddenly blinked into the light as it dawned on her that Stassi Schroeder‘s power and possession was an elaborate ruse. If only Katie Maloney would see such signs, but alas she’s too busy painting squiggly black lines over the sunrise of truth.