On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, we learned that Stassi Schroeder‘s problems with men run deep. Like down in the beautiful, briny sea deep. She’s also being strangled in turtleneck-form by her own ill-advised hubris.
Now, I must do a disclaimer with this recap: Do not expect my usual greatness of prose mixed with pearls of wisdom, as I have the worst cold I have ever had in my human existence. And I feel like garbage. Like what Tequila Katie (minus Tom 2) may smear on Scheana Marie‘s overly-contoured face.
Can we talk about Scheana? Ho-ly does that girl need a ‘stink face’ removal procedure. Didn’t anyone warn her that her face will freeze that way if she makes a poop face immediately after getting Botox? I mean, I get it – she has a hard-earned summer body to protect, but lighten up and eat a lil’ clam. I hear Kristen Doute loves them.
Lisa also defends her friend Dorit and bemoans the fact that she’s in the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “hot seat” so far this season.
Lisa points out that “wine obviously flowed copiously” at PK and Dorit‘s dinner party. “So one might be forgiven if an accurate memory of what had transpired in conversation might be a little hazy so to speak. When we flash back, it compounds the fact that Dorit was inaccurate of her recollection. The subject of Eileen‘s name and mother, of course, was raised, however there were wires that were crossed.”
The extremely touchy and personal topic of deceased parents came up repeatedly on this week’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, and it was not at ALL appreciated by Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna, both of whom sadly lost a parent this past year. In her blog, Eileen takes issue with PK and Dorit Kemsley judging her about when, where, and how she revealed the news of her late mother’s passing.
Eileen clarifies, “I lost my mother in March. This was months after all the issues with Lisa [Vanderpump] happened. The next day, I worked Y&R. I chose not to tell anyone there because that was the only way I could do my job. It was pure survival. I had to make the same decision for the reunion. We all had a lot of issues that needed to be talked through. I knew it would rob everyone of their ability to be honest with me if they were all walking on eggshells.”
After Lisa Rinna left PK and Dorit Kemsley’s dinner party, she felt like she had been served up for dinner to the assorted very strange guests assembled ’round the table. The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills self-proclaimed “hustler” couldn’t quite hustle her way out of an awkward conversation with the Kemsleys about their good friend, Lisa Vanderpump. And it was all made more strained by PK’s insistence that Lisa (and Eileen Davidson) were influenced by their parents’ deaths last year in their actions toward Lisa V. Not so, say both women.
Lisa comments in her blog this week on the impropriety and downright oddball nature of the dinner party conversation. “I thought it was kind of Dorit to invite me to her dinner party once she knew I was alone, and I graciously accepted, wanting to get to know both Dorit and PK better. However, if I didn’t know better, I could have sworn that instead of being invited to a dinner party, I was actually at a BBQ, and I was the one being grilled!”
What is up with Dorit Kemsley? I mean, she gives good TV since we’re all going to be talking about her, but, err, uhh… she is not a good look for Lisa Vanderpump, and I don’t think this is what Lisa was going for when she got Dorit cast. So, Peek-K looked up Erika Girardi‘s skirt, and after grilling my husband relentlessly about the possibility of PK’s view, I’ve decided I agree with Erika that it’s probably not possible that PK got full-vajaynejayne throughout dinner as he claimed. Erika, though, is pissed that Dorit told everyone about it, then handled it by handing her some “full coverage” underwear. Of all the insults – to assume ERIKA JAYNE wears full coverage?! As if! When completely sheer = granny panties, you know you’ve gone to the Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory for aging trophy wives with celebrity ambitions.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules featured dueling birthday trips – one made no attempt to be classy and the other pretended to be something they’re not.
First up, Ariana Madixgrabbed the Toms and Jax Taylor for an RV trek around Sonoma Wine Country, which ground to a halt at a NASCAR track for wieners and wienies. The wienie being Tom 1 who whined and cried – in front of Ariana’s brother no less – that Ariana doesn’t find his man bun and overall short-alls attractive enough to f–k. The poor Toms – it seems they have something in common, in that their ladies would rather do anything but them.
Stassi admits she’s headed to Cabo with some of her castmates to be the “seventh wheel” on a couples trip, because she’s vowed to stay single for an entire year. She’s presently just ‘dating’ on many apps, which she hates.
First, Lisa talks about her fight against the Dog Meat Festival and the birth of The Vanderpump Dog Foundation, “As we first entered into the pet world creating Vanderpump Pets, we became slowly enlightened of the brutalities that transpired each year against dogs in China during the summer solstice. In an effort to draw attention to it, we marched to the Chinese embassy, we sent placards around the world, the slogan Stop Yulin Forever was plastered over many t-shirts, a resolution was formed, as we managed to garner interest and support from a congressman and hopefully pass through congress a resolution that would draw attention globally and end this barbarity once and for all.”