Well that’s it – another season of Vanderpump Rules done and done! But the third part of the reunion ended with quite a bang when Scheana Marie‘s estranged husband Mike Shay appeared to say everything and nothing at all.
Good lord – the girls on this show are ridiculous! Like Katie Maloney, nothing is ever Scheana’s fault as she just demands, cries, and throws tantrums then blames everyone else. Tom 2 – consider Shay your warning; Robert Valleta – consider Tom 2 your warning.
Before we witness Scheana Marie collapse into a cloud of pressed powder, we have much ground to cover. While Andywasted time last week trying to make Stassi Schroeder‘s brother ‘happen,’ the reunion could have focused on all the drama between James Kennedy and Kristen Doute, or that time Tom 2 almost canceled his wedding while pooping in a wedding gown, as Tom 1 was crying in a Sia costume. Aaaaahhh… good times in New Orleans!
I will never stop watching Vanderpump Rules, but I do find myself missing the show’s early days. Those first couple of seasons were iconic. From Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder’s all-encompassing romantic relationship to single Jax “dating” multiple people at once, there was always something crazy happening in every single episode. I do still love this show, but there are plenty of things that I miss about the beginning of Vanderpump Rules.
I’m all for moving forward, but there are plenty of other things about the beginning of Pump Rules.
It must feel nice for Ashley Darby to no longer feel like the “new girl” in the Real Housewives of Potomac clique, after she was given such a hard time last year. Still, this doesn’t seem like it’s going to be the easiest season for her thanks to the Australian restaurant she opened with her husband.
Apparently, Ashley hasn’t watched other Real Housewives shows because opening a restaurant has always served as a difficult story line. Lisa Vanderpump is the only exception here, but she’s had decades of experience and owns multiple restaurants. On top of being a tough business in general, the Australian menu seems to be a tough sell in the United States. That and the almost three decade age difference between Ashley and her husband Michael Darby foreshadow difficult times to come.
Last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion was wash, rinse, and repeat pantygate. And even though the stains have come out, Erika Girardi and Dorit Kemsley still can’t toss them in the drawer and move on. Can’t one of Dorit’s three full-time housekeepers clean up this mess? What about “Soapy and Sudsy“?
Andy Cohen wastes no time defrosting the world of Erika Jayne, wondering why she has to be so cold? But Andy and I are on different time frames, so my first order of business is discussing wardrobe. Which means Kyle Richards.
UGH. How does Kyle By KantDressTooThousand expect us to take her boutique seriously when she is wearing a cold-shoulder leotard that she put a strapless bra over. With a skirt that looks like shape wear. SERIOUSLY!? I just cannot. even. fathom. why?! Kyle is aware that when organizing a ‘sitting down for TV outfit’ one should, you know, TEST how it looks while seated? Apparently, these are things only non-showbiz people know – the former F-list child stars did not get such stellar education.
On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)
One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!
So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!
If I could be anyone on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, it would be Kyle Richards. She is an OG cast member. She is on good terms with everyone and is bringing in the cash with all of her side ventures. She definitely has the best thing going for her out of everyone in this cast.
Aside from defending her sister Kim Richards (again), Kyle had (another) easy season and I can’t hate on her for that. Fortunately for her, she doesn’t have too many loose ends to tie up. Luckily for us, she did share some of her opinions and insights about the show in an interview with Heather McDonald.
After a tough season last year, Lisa Vanderpump definitely turned things around this time. Well, either that, or Lisa Rinna just screwed up enough to take away from what everyone else was doing. But let’s be real, that party Vanderpump threw for the finale was immaculate and she definitely reclaimed her throne by the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 7.
Still, Lisa Vanderpump couldn’t resist shading LisaRinna and supporting her loyal soldier Dorit Kemsley before the season officially comes to a halt.
Still, I can’t help feeling like Lisa Rinna used her as a scapegoat in her vendetta against Kim Richards and her quest for more screen time. So I was actually pumped when Eden remembered that she has a speaking role on this show and came at Rinna during the season finale. Rinna deserved to have her ass handed to her after the crap she pulled all year. Is Eden the hero we were all hoping for this season? Maybe…