The Twisted Sicksters Richards are still stranded in Palm Desert after the histrionic horrors of YOU STOLE MY HOUSE! Kim Richards insists she’s grown-up and is waiting for Kyle Richards to treat her like the “healthy, sober older sister who can take care of her life.” Except stupid Kyle is all Kim can’t even tell a vibrator from a lipstick and a Tuesday from a toadstool and God! Do I have to do everything, even cook eggs?! Man, if I were Kyle I would have put Ex-lax in the bitch’s eggs!
Yeah, they ate eggs instead of dealing with the destruction of the night before when Kim hoarsely screeched at Kyle to give back her house right. now. Or ELSE healthy big sober super sister Kim was going to destroy her with her inventive memory and her super weapon: the gossiping drunken lips of Boozdi, a super-villain who will swoop down from the valley with lies of attrition. Kyle meekly says she’s surprised Kim stayed after what happened, Kim just eats and plots to set a bag of Kingsley’s dog poop on fire and throw it on the grill.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from this week. Enjoy.
Stassi Schroeder has pulled a disappearing act since outing existence of her own sex tape, which she claimed her Vanderpump Rules co-stars tried to to leak to the media out of revenge. Luckily for Stassi, Lisa Vanderpump leapt to her rescue and paid off the unidentified ex-boyfriend in possession of the tape. And as an Executive Producer, Lisa also made sure knowledge of said tape never made it onto the show – until Stassi mentioned it at the reunion.
Lisa is puzzled by Stassi’s attitude towards her co-stars, who were “incredibly loyal,” and she is disappointed by Stassi’s dismissal of the lengths they went to to protect her.
As for how they learned of the sex tape, Lisa confirms Stassi’s ex brought it to SUR. “He comes into the bar and puts it on display. So out of curiosity they looked at it. But no one said anything about it,” she describes. “I didn’t want to see it. It’s disgusting. I decided I’m going to pay to make it go away.”
The ladies start off the last leg of their Tour de Denial at the flower market. Earlier, while they were biking through the city Lisa Vanderpump saw a friend of her son Max. Brandi got to chatting… and other things… with said 23-year-old – lo and behold he asked her on a date, after spending the night with her. Are we sure they weren’t biking through the Red Light district? Isn’t dating your former bestie-turned-enemy-turned-stalking/slapping-recipient’s son’s friend a little, I dunno… Lifetime Movie creepy? I mean I can just picture Sela Ward playing the role of LVP.
Brandi, wearing a Fred Flintstone costume, recounts to Kim about “play slapping” Lisa. Kim laughs that uptight Lisa can’t take a joke – like that one time super sober champion soberling Kim joked about Harry doing evil, awful things and Lisa Rinna having evil, awful secrets… does Harry keep a people-eating troll in the basement?!
Last night on the Vanderpump Rules reunion, Stassi Schroeder accused Scheana Marie of being involved in a malicious plot to expose a self-pleasure sex tape Stassi made for an ex-boyfriend, who eventually passed it around at SUR. Stassi sure knows how to burn those bridges… The sex tape – thankfully – has never seen the light of day, but everybody wants MORE DETAILS! Here they are…
Apparently the “graphic 20 minute” tape features some alarming footage of Stassi “masturbating with a dildo,” reveals an insider who has seen the footage. “It was humiliating. It was passed around and everyone in the cast saw it.”
Stassi was devastated when she found out and asked Lisa Vanderpump for help in dealing with the matter. And Lisa leapt into action.