TheVanderpump Rules crew is still in Cabo celebrating our day of national reckoning; a day where dysfunction is recognized as a peril in great need of attention.
This day is also known as Stassi Schroeder's birthday. While in her mind this day is as important as the day of Jesus' birth, for the rest of humanity it is a day that we remain buried under our covers and asking where it all went so wrong. I blame her mother – it's always the mother's fault, right?!
Anyway things in Cabo are going bad, bad, bad because right in the middle of Stassi's birthday dinner, before anyone remember to order Stassi an appetizer or a drink, Katie Maloney and Tom 2 erupt into an argument about who's more of a moron. Can we call a draw?
Katie flees the table in what can only be described as a pair of pantyhose recycled into a dress. It was a flesh-colored poncho, it was frightful. Maybe it was flesh eating and that explains her sheer stupidity as her brain was a casualty of it's voraciousness. Also it matched her hair.
Kim Richards' daughter Kimberly graduated from high school and Kim is hosting a big celebration party for her. To prepare Kim, Kyle Richards, Kimberly and one of Kyle's daughters meet up for manicures. And Kyle needs a bikini wax. Kim announces her "wiener" has already been waxed and is looking cute. Kim should probably just go ahead and call it a "whiner" instead.
Kyle prefers to label hers a "tweeter" because <stage whisper> 'vagina' is yucky. It's times like this I wish Brandi Glanville would pop up in the corner of the screen yelling, "VAGINA, Kyle – VAGINA!" just to make Kyle smack her with a caftan after covering her eyes with a haircape.
A salon employee tells Kyle she can have her tweetiewiener dyed. Kyle Freudian Slips and thinks the lady told her to put her vagina on a "diet". But! It's a size 4! Kim's tweeter is a size 0 because it hasn't been eating anything – well nothing except a little "lipstick" she elaborated. How many weight watchers points does a tweeter get?
Joyce Giraud and Brandi Glanville do. not. like each other. According to Joyce the two initially started off friendly-ish but then Brandi began stirring the pot and manipulating behind the scenes by using Joyce as the scapegoat.
First of all, Joyce says she had no intention of fighting with Brandi in interviews and on blogs while the show was airing. "When filming ended we were all in a better place and then after that she just started attacking again on social media," Joyce recounts, "which I think is crazy."
"I understand the dynamic of the show, and that it's dramatic and all of that," Joyce clarifies. For Joyce this season and filming with Brandi was a surreal experience with a lot of learning moments. "I've never dealt with behavior like hers before – it's just something that I wasn't used to," she explains.
Joyce also insists that the two started off getting along, but since all roads lead back to Richards their fighting started with Kyle and Kim.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
With the busy holidays behind us now, our favorite (and not so favorite) celebrities are slowly coming back out to grace us with their presence – on and off the red carpet. Check out this week's photo roundup!
Carlton Gebbia stopped by the Sirius XM studio in NYC before she headed over to make an appearance on Watch What Happens Live.
Aaaahhh… Brandi Glanville. I've almost run out of things to say about the mess that has become Brandi. It's sad at this point. She was always rough around the edges, but it's become abundantly clear that she's pretty much rough all over!
Brandi is still making excuses for her behavior this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I wonder if she can't keep her mouth shut because she needs to open it constantly to insert wine – or her feet. In her latest Bravo blog she continues to place blame and point fingers at Joyce Giraud. These two need to stop talking about each other already. Let's hear what she has to say!
First up Lisa Vanderpump is to blame. Even though Lisa is ruining her reputation trying to be a good friend to Brandi this season, that's still not enough apparently!
"Lisa having a dinner to bring Joyce and I together is ironic because the whole reason we don't get along is because of Lisa and the Hairgate situation." How is that Lisa's fault – JOYCE chose to confront Lisa after Brandi instigated… "Lisa asked me to act as if Joyce didn't exist and now she is throwing a dinner for us? It's all so perplexing."
Yesterday we celebrated a day of extreme national significance. A day that brings attention to the very important cause of narcissism and immaturity. It was Stassi Schroeder's birthday and if I had a dollar for every time I heard that on Vanderpump Rules last night…
Stassi has invited everyone she hates and semi-likes to celebrate her birthday. She invited Scheana Marie in the six seconds they liked each other, but now she regrets it. She did not invite Jax Taylor, so he invited himself. Hey – I'd invite myself on a Vacation by Bravo, too!
Every 15 seconds Stassi gets out her bullhorn and police baton to announce its her birthday and demand people have fun her way or else she'll beat them. This continues throughout the entire episode…
Before leaving,Lisa Vanderpump takes Peter Madrigal out for tea. Peter admits he's going on the trip for the free booze and for the opportunity to laugh at these people. And there will be girls in bikinis too. Lisa seems hesitant to let him go – her only decent employee!
Things picked up at SUR where Brandi Glanville and Joyce Giraud were bickering up a storm about everything. If you could interpret through the litany of F-bombs and hair flips you might have heard Joyce tell Brandi she needs rehab.
All of the sudden Brandi starts tearing up and claims she just really misses her dog and needs to leave. She flees the table under the protective lemon force field of Yolanda Foster. So, now Brandi is blaming all her of her maltreatment of Joyce on a dog? I thought Kim Richards got the dog storyline this season?
Back at the table Joyce is unsympathetic. While Lisa Vanderpump and Ken try to smooth it over, Joyce snaps that Brandi shouldn't act like a "stupid little bitch" if she doesn't want people to confront her. Amen, Joyce, amen. Yolanda returns and is all "but Brandi is very sad". She's having a hard time. Lisa, visibly stressed out, calls for dessert – emotional eating time!