Brandi Glanville is on a bender – a shooting off her mouth bender, that is! She just cannot keep those size 40 Loubs out of her injected pout! Girl really… take a vacation from the media. I should take a vacation from giving her press, too. But I just can't quit…
Which is how Brandi describes her relationship with boyfriend JR in her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blog. Brandi says she dumped him after he took off for a music festival last minute with friends and did not invite her.
"So after he got me my dream rental the day prior, I text my 'boyfriend' JR, saying 'Let's go out and celebrate!' He texts me back 'Just randomly, last minute boarded a plane to Austin for a music festival with a bunch of my 'couples friends' and will be back in a few days. . .'"
Oh Vanderpump Rules – why you make so many menz cry? Perhaps it's because I grew up in the south but I think a man should drown his tears in whiskey instead. Does that make me a cold-hearted biatchStassi Schroeder?
Last night the gang traveled to LAKE ARROWHEAD, mythical kingdom of all things powerful and magical, or you would have imagined it was by the awestruck way the entire cast said the name over and over again! Jax Taylor is going to implore Stassi's mom to accept him so Stassi will be his girlfriend again. Stassi's mom is pretty much exactly like Stassi – only scarier and with worse hair.
The real reason they're going is so Jax can show Stassi his tattoo – ac-ci-dent-tal-leee, as he takes his shirt off on the beach. "What's that?!" she wonders grabbing his arm? For me… she gasps. 'Next I want you to get my vaj tattoo over your heart. Then I'll love you again. Maybe…' Stassi is slightly disgusted by the gesture but alas her ego explodes into a thousand cosmic rays of gloriosity – someone wants her enough to permanently mutilate their body. Jax and Tom 1 giggle in the bedroom over how well it went. Meanwhile Stassi complains to her mom about how desperate Jax is.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills battle lines were drawn in the mythical sand using witches wands and Louboutins. Did I mention the witches were also wearing Louboutins, because yeah… Beverly Hills and all that.
So Brandi Glanville invites us all over to her bathroom to watch her take a bath while the editors blurred over her ladybits. Jennifer Gimenez stopped by because doesn't one always entertain while they're naked?! They talk boys; Brandi and JR's relationship isn't going anywhere and Jennifer thinks he needs dumping.
Brandi goes on a date with JR where she confronts him about not ordering a drink first and oh yeah – taking a couples trip to Texas without 1/2 of his coupling. That half being her! Apparently JR was with all his friends, who are couples, but he didn't want to bring Brandi.
JR is pretty unapologetic about the whole thing and it triggers Brandi's "trust issues" since in case you have been living in a black hole or on Mars and weren't aware, Brandi was cheated on you guys. She was like SO cheated on and like she needs to discuss it forever and ever and ever and ever because she apparently doesn't have anything else going on besides Botox and drinking.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Brandi wants to take digs at Lisa? Whatever. She's not about to lower herself to Brandi's level. Brandi wants to bad-mouth one of Lisa's best friends? Hold up. Lisa's not about to let her get away with that nonsense.
Reflecting on this week's episode Yolanda discusses her treatment for neurological Lyme disease and also the treatment of some of the Housewives towards each other.
"I am the shell of the woman I used to be so the hardest thing for me is to accept my limitations and deal with the feeling of inadequacy due to not being able to do all that I used to," Yolandawrites in her Bravo blog. "I truly miss me being me!"
And finally Alexia Echevarria is wearing the number at Real Housewives of Miami reunion and rocked hers with the belt. Hopefully the stunning dress, which retails for a whopping $7160, didn't become a casualty in any scuffles!
Reality stars are no strangers to repeating gowns, but I have to say this McQueen number is getting classier wearers than poor Stella McCartney's gown did last year.
You know what they say about Splits? She's always got a leg up on a table the other ladies! Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Kyle Richards is playing a delicate game of chess with old and new frenemies and making sure whatever she sees on an episode goes into her blog to make her the underdog. I will say that Lisa Vanderpump's edit isn't helping matters, but Kyle will never be the victim, no matter how chummy she gets with Brandi Glanville or whether she's able to prove that Yolanda Foster is a big fat liar!
In her Bravo blog, Kyle recaps the episode for us, and she starts off very tame. She begins, "Seeing Yolanda sick like that really makes one appreciate their health. You can see how weak she feels and hard that must be for a strong woman like Yolanda. Without the support and love of family it would be be so much more difficult to go through that. She is fortunate to have such strong support system," adding, "When Brandi was moving into her house and said she needed her mommy, I could SO relate! I always say that. Unfortunately, I don't have mine anymore but still always feel that. Brandi is so lucky to still have her mom and they seem to have a loving, fun relationship." Cue the violins!