Yolanda Foster is planning a dinner party to honor HER KING. It's David-galore and all about David. I wonder what flowers David likes? Probably the ones that bloom in his presence – he is quite miraculous that way!
On the other side of town in a poor, sad subdivision where normal people who don't have houses built on a foundation of Grammy awards and or a fridge made of diamonds spun from the hair of virgin, albino Persian cats, Brandi is searching for her poor lost dog Chica. Awww… poor Chica. While Brandi annoys the bejesus out of me – and adding to that annoyance is the presence of Kyle in a pirate-themed Kaftan from Kylene By Too Many Kraptans – I totally understand the loss of a pet.
“I think they definitely have something naughty, but I like them,” Lisaadmits to Life & Style. “I like Carlton, I know she’s a little eccentric, but I like her very much. I think she’s a good woman. I quite enjoy getting to know her."
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Oh Kyle Richards, I love watching you on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Sometimes I even feel for you even when I don't want to…can any of our readers relate? Of course, just when I start to feel sympathy for Spilts, she starts playing the victim card…yet again. Give it a rest already! We get it, we get it. Yolanda Foster and Lisa Vanderpump are mean girls. Brandi Glanville is an absolute mess (preach!). Carlton Gebbia is mean to you for no good reason. I agree on almost all counts (I still heart Lisa though)! But still, stop playing your tiny little violin!
Taking to her Bravo blog, Kyle recaps Monday's crazy episode. She begins, "These past two episodes have been very upsetting to watch. I had been so stressed with everything going on that all the negativity with the women was proving to be too much for me. I wanted to get away to have fun and it was impossible with all the mean attacks going on. Although Brandi and I are not close friends, I still consider her a friend. When we are together without Lisa and Yolanda, we get along and laugh. It's as though she becomes a different person in front of them," adding, "I could not win."
Lisa Vanderpump was accused of being the "vacation police" for confiscating a bottle of wine Brandi was guzzling from. But she also got yelled at by Kim Richards for being dismissive of her. I agree Lisa is kind of flippant where Kim is concerned. In her Bravo blog Lisa recounts the events and explains her behaviors.
Lisa defended Kyle Richards against Brandi's drunken comments because she knew Kyle was fragile in that moment. "Kyle was not in the frame of mind to defend herself, and I knew I had to say something with out antagonizing her."
"Kyle was emotional that weekend, once again investing in another tabloid story that had reared its ugly head. This one I believed was even more ridiculous. However Kyle always gives them more credence than they deserve, almost engulfing herself in the negative emotion of it all. Ignore it and this too shall pass!"
Last night tables turned wildly onVanderpump Rules when one drunken girl proved that loose lips do in fact sink friendships of convenience with co-workers you don't really like!
Before any of that happens we are treated to the tragic sighting of Stassi Schroeder's a$$. No, no I didn't write "Stassi being an a$$" or "Stassi is an a$$", but literally Stassi's a$$. She spread her cheeks for a bikini waxing. Decency is dead, folks! Apparently the best way to cleanse yourself of the ex you don't really want back but want to keep manipulating is to go hairless!
Stassi makes Katie Maloney go with her but Katie has never waxed. Katie never will again. It's taken me forever to figure out why Katie, whom I refer to as Anonymous Stassi Schroeder Friend No. 1, would dye her hair that unflattering color – and then it hit me. She's literally trying to be Stassi. Same hair style (but shorter), same side part, same color-ish, same mean girl antics. #FalseIdol
Things begin with Dinner Party From Hell 8.0. Kyle Richards and Yolanda Foster are agreeing to disagree by disagreeing when Brandi Glanville stares Kyle down with an unfocused glare and some threatening, slurry words about how she could say a lot of bad things about Kyle. Bad, bad things. Like for real mean stuff.
Lisa Vanderpump warns her to knock it off, but "know this" Brandi sees things. Weren't you just waiting for her to whip out that electronic cigarette?! Brandi was a wreck and needs: blotting papers, powder, detox, a nap, water, psych drugs, to get off my TV.
I'm not sure what it says about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that Kim Richards is most grounded and coherent participant this season. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to see Kim so healthy (and hilarious!), but she seems to be the only one with any sort of sense. Discussing Monday's episode, Kim is quick to call out Brandi Glanville's deplorable behavior while noting that her friend no doubt regrets her actions. She also sympathizes with Joyce Giraud's attempts to host a nice weekend while dismissing Yolanda Foster and Lisa Vanderpump as rude. She's really kind of spot on with her entire assessment.
Taking to her Bravo blog, Kim begins, "Once we got settled in our rooms we headed straight to the pool. Right off the bat it just didn't feel right, and there was a lot of tension. The push for Joyce to take her sundress off! Look, in my opinion Joyce invited us all down to have a good time and to do whatever we wanted in a beautiful home. She had a chef to prepare nice dinners and planned activities, but the rest should be up to us. If you want to swim, then swim. If you want to take a walk, then take a walk. There should be no rules except to just come have a good time. I have hosted many trips in my life and just because it is my trip, doesn't mean I have to babysit. For instance, when I took my friends to Hawaii once, some people wanted to lie out while others wanted to shop or go marlin fishing. You can't be with everyone at the same time. I thought it was a little ridiculous for Yolanda to tell Joyce how to handle herself. I mean grow up!"