It would appear that the dinner party dramas of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills aren't going anywhere soon. Maybe they should just stay home and cook from now on? Oh, what am I saying – we love this nonsense!
Marisa said she went to the party expecting a fun and enjoyable evening, but she's never watched this show or something and forgot where she was going. Marisa confesses she was shocked to learn Adrienne Maloof was suing Brandi Glanville – and she defends her friend Brandi as being in a "vulnerable" place. Marisa was equally shocked to see everyone leap in to offer their unsolicited opinion on the matter.
Being Jax Taylor is a difficult thing. Being Jax Taylor means swatting away desperate hoards of single women grasping at you like vampires fighting over a corpse. Being Jax Taylor means everyone wants to get you drunk and force you to attend parties with them. Being Jax Taylor means all the guys idolize you. And being Jax Taylor means you are dating Stassi Schroeder which is a whole separate problem of its own. But at least she's hot and lets you crash at her place for free, right?!
Last night on Vanderpump Rules, Jax learned that if he doesn't want to buy his own TV and get his own place, he better listen to MamaStassi and grow up or sleeping in his car won't be a choice, it will be a lifestyle. Apparently grown ups aren't male models, either. Hasn't Stassi seen Zoolander? #BlueSteel
At 33, Jax is a former big thing in the world of male modeling but as he is no longer quite so young and pretty he's become kind of a small thing. However he doesn't seem bothered by this and seems content to sling drinks at Sur. Jax admits it's impossible to grow up when you're him and suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome. Which doesn't sit well with his ever-patient, ever-loving Swedish Princess Stassi. Poor Jax – I mean it's hard to be dumb as a box of rocks and have a gasoline fight with your fellow male model friends while the camera rolls and the Le Tigre pout schmoozes the lens.
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is brought you by Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors." And it also confirmed two things I've long suspected: 1) Househusbands are like fleas when it comes to the series; unwelcome guests that just annoy the hell out of us and should stay home (I'm looking at you, Mauricio "Maurice" Umansky) and 2) One should never, ever, ever attend a party thrown by SplitsRichards. Lets just all stick to parties at Yolanda Foster's from now on. I mean, Babs might attend!
Things begin with Scheana Marie Famewhore putting on her best "I feel so sad and ashamed" face that she's been practicing in the mirror for weeks in anticipation of her big ol' TV debut. Unfortunately Scheana feels about as bad about squashing Brandi Glanville's marriage as she did squashing the spider she found in her bathroom last week.
Brandi, on the other hand, is still totally not over Douche King Eddie Cibrian and she narrows her eyes looks right at Scheana and hisses that he's probably cheating on ol' crazy noodles LeAnn Rimes right now. Scheana's eyes get wide, she starts to look nervous, and then Brandi – all 35 feet of her – stands up, looks down at her and breezes out. Scheana does a quick vital signs assessment, realizes she's in one piece, and then runs out as fast as her shaky legs can carry her.
Brandi breezes into the Office de Vanderpump for a counseling session and a glass of much needed rosé. I need rosé on tap too. Lisa Vanderpump – hook a girl up!
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Last season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills viewers saw Adrienne Maloof and her family wrestle with the decision to move their NBA team the Sacramento Kings to a new city where they could get a state-of-the-art arena built for less money.
But now, according to Yahoo! Sports, the family is thisclose to negotiating a deal to SELL the team to Seattle for an estimated $500 Million dollars!
The deal is still unsigned but is expected to go through although it will take "some time" to reach a formal agreement. The new investor group, which includes hedge-fund manager Chris Hansen and Microsoft chairman Steve Ballmer, is allegedly wary because of the Maloof's history of bailing on negotiations at the last minute.
Last year the Maloofs were very close to finalizing a deal to build the new Sacramento arena before canceling at the very last minute!
I can hear my mom's words of wisdom echoing in my ears…"If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you!" Granted, I've never cheated with–or on–anyone (but, well, there was high school. Does that count?), but it's advice that totally translates into the grown-up world. However, can we technically call LeAnn Rimes an adult? She's constantly tearlessly crying in interviews about never having the opportunity to be a child, so perhaps she's regressed. Regardless, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville is likely smug upon hearing this latest gossip.
A quick breakdown (as if y'all need it): Brandi's husband Eddie Cibrian cheated on her with SUR waitress Scheana Marie Jancan (that is no one's given name!). When Eddie then cheated with LeAnn, Scheana went to the press to complain about how heartbroken she was when her affair ended because Eddie found another mistress. High five, Brandi! You came out on top of this cluster for sure!
I don't know about you, but I find it very fishy that this news is coming to light way after it acutally happened. Funny how Bravo is trying to promoteLisa Vanderpump's(love her!) new show Vanderpump Rules on which Scheana plays a bullied, overly sexed, wannabe pop star waitress…It's what publicity stunts are made of, right?
Gracious though, when you read Sheana's interview, which occurred after her sit-down with Brandi, you'll shake your head and wonder if she has a publicist. Sheana is still taking shots at Brandi while playing the victim. Um, I'm sorry. I don't care how horrid the woman was whose husband you were bedding, you're still the other woman. She can call you names, and she can be mean to you. You slept with her husband! I'm speaking to Scheana in first person because she strikes me as the type of fame hungry girl that will read every blog written about her. Scheana, I'm not hating, I'm just trying to give you some sincere feedback. Oh, and by the way, NEVER record that breathy porn song you sang on Vanderpump Rules. The world, and iTunes, sends their thanks.
Let's discuss Vanderpump Rules, shall we. Or should I say The Stassi Schroeder Is Mean hour? Oh Stassi – she's such an angry little thing, isn't she. Vanderpump Rules is the tale of two delusional girls and their aspirations being far bigger than their aptitude. First up is Staaaaaasi, or queen of the blue micro minis.
Everyone's favorite descendent of a Swedish princess moved out to LA with the promise of stardom in her eyes. I mean after all , Stassi is like a 20th removed royal so naturally that should mean she'd arrive in Hollywood, announce: "Here I am!" and she'd be shoving Angelina Jolie off her pedestal, right? Unfortunately things didn't' work out that way.
Someone ought to tell Staaaaaaaaaasi that Swedish princess don't sling drinks – and they probably wear bras to work. I could be wrong as I'm only descendent of Scottish princesses and we always wear undergarments.