While some people (ahem… Splits Richards) have a dubious definition of the word "friendship" it seems Brandi Glanville and Lisa Vanderpump have a legit relationship that goes beyond a storyline and some camera time. At least I hope they do!
After Lisa attempted to defend Brandi during Faye Resnick's dinner party attack on this week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she is also speaking out to defend her friend in the press over how she has handled ex-husband Eddie Cibrian's very public affairs.
"There's so much that people don't know, and I wish that you saw more of Brandi as a mother – but she is not allowed to use her children [in the show], which is a shame because that is another whole side of her personality that we don't see, she is a lovely mother and I have spent a lot of time around her with her boys," Lisa shares.
I'm just going to come out and say it – I am OVER Kyle Richards. Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills she once again showed herself to be a sniveling, conniving, drama queen. Furthermore, it must be hard to be Faye Resnick. Always in the shadows, always a hanger-on, just waiting, waiting, waiting for fame to finally deem you worthy.
Last night Brandi Glanville realized she made a grave mistake, an egregious error as she attempted to take on a furious Adrienne Maloof. Brandi didn't realize what she was getting herself into. It reminded her of that time she entered the Jell-O wrestling competition in Vegas. After a few cocktails it seemed fun but all she got in the end was showing nipples and the attentions of a F-list actor named Eddie hoping to raise himself through the ranks from nobody to lesser nobody.
Anyway, Brandi is still at Mauricio's real estate convention thing and she's just gotten double-teamed by WWF Supervillians Hoof & Nasty. Maybe she deserved it. Adrienne storms out, pointing to the fans in her glittering purple caftan, vowing to return and warns Brandi that she'll out her as a druggie whore if she doesn't watch it.
So what was going on last night, Bravo? A word of advice: If you can't air the storyline, then, you know don't air the story. But I suppose that would mean forgoing some major drama and they can't have that, can they?
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has made a case for going where no show goes before into the gory, depraved, salacious, and libelous department. And last night was no exception.
Before we get to the good stuff let's discuss Splits Richards trying to show off that she's the new rich biatch in town. She's giving her 16-year-old, the one who couldn't parallel part last week, a brand new Mercedes coupe. That's the perfect first car to total, amirite! It's apparently because Mauricio is now raking in the dough big time with his new real estate agency.
Personally, I'm really over the daughter driving story. I mean who is she – a Kardashian? Furthermore, those shorts are too short for a 16-year-old. I guess she's also taking fashion advice from Aunt Paris.
I mean, I don't doubt that Andy Cohen and his minions select ladies who are going to bring the drama and then puts them in situations which are going to create it to the umpteenth degree. The ladies of Beverly Hills are no different. Taylor Armstrong alone brings enough dramatics for a Broadway production.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies got wild and out in Ojai. I have to say last night was one of the most fun episodes ever and it makes you think if they all got their panties out of a wad, relaxed, and spoke to each other like normal people instead of obsessing over petty drama they'd all get along and be fun. But alas, that would be too easy and far too mature.
Things begin with the girls still in Ojai where Brandi Glanville has just dropped the eff-bomb at Buckingham Palace in front of Queen Elizabeth and her corgis. Oh, wait – no she didn't. She just said it to Adrienne Maloof, but the way these ninnies were acting you'd think this was the most official, classy, elegant prestigious dinner in all the world. I don't know why they were all getting up on their high horses acting like they've never said F-U before when we all know they use it. Right, Splits Richards?
Anyway, Brandi and Kim Richards were doing a big Ojai love-in and pouring their hearts out when Adrienne gets on the intercom with her whiny, donkey voice to announce that someone is crying in Aisle 5 and clean-up is required. Repeat, someone – ahem KIM – is crying!
So Brandi was forced to tell Adrienne to eff off and everyones' heads snapped around like Adrienne just announced that someone was peeing on a Chanel bag. Their mouths dropped, and they glared at Brandi as if she was pee culprit desecrating the holy statue.
I feel like there is a giant math equation regarding how much gossip we hear about the show in proportion to the ratio of time a housewives franchise has been on the air divided by the amount of certified crazies in the cast and then taken to the third power of the square root of how many on-air divorces occur multiplied by the number of husbands we think could potentially be cheating. It's like E=MC² up in here!
Given all of those mathematical conundrums, it only makes sense we'd be hearing a lot the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at the moment. We've got the crazies, we've got the divorces, and I have some suspicions about some of those husbands! First up, we've got Brandi Glanville engaging in yet another Twitter war with home wrecker (don't sue me!) LeAnn Rimes and more news on the Adrienne Maloof front.
You may not agree, but I think Brandi Glanville is the spice so needed for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's brash, she's offensive, she's everything her counterparts want to be but pretend that they're not. You add in the fact that Brandi's ex-husband Eddie Cibrian couldn't keep it in his pants, and she proceeds to run into his former mistresses throughout 90210, and you've got a great reality recipe for drama.
I know y'all recall the SUR party last season (you know, the one Cedric Martinez tried to crash, not to be confused with this season's Villa Blanca party when Adrienne Maloof sent that passive aggressive jungle arrangement to Lisa Vanderpump) when Brandi ran smack dab into SUR waitress Scheana Marie who had once gotten to know Eddie really well…if you catch my drift.
Fast forward to Scheana starring in Bravo's new Vanderfabulous spin-off Vanderpump Rules, and she's all over the media yet again for that unfortunate run in with Brandi. Of course, Brandi handled the situation with as much class as Brandi can…she did a better job than I would have expected. From previews, we know that the women will come face-to-face yet again (thanks producers!) to finally say their peace, and now media outlets are revisiting that original awkward meeting as Bravo hypes its newest reality show.