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Lisa Vanderpump

So what was going on last night, Bravo? A word of advice: If you can't air the storyline, then, you know don't air the story. But I suppose that would mean forgoing some major drama and they can't have that, can they?

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has made a case for going where no show goes before into the gory, depraved, salacious, and libelous department. And last night was no exception. 

Before we get to the good stuff let's discuss Splits Richards trying to show off that she's the new rich biatch in town. She's giving her 16-year-old, the one who couldn't parallel part last week, a brand new Mercedes coupe. That's the perfect first car to total, amirite! It's apparently because Mauricio is now raking in the dough big time with his new real estate agency. 

Personally, I'm really over the daughter driving story. I mean who is she – a Kardashian? Furthermore, those shorts are too short for a 16-year-old. I guess she's also taking fashion advice from Aunt Paris

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Brandi Glanville has come under fire for "acting" on the Bravo franchise.  Of course, it all depends on who you believe.  If you believe the "sources" who talk to certain web sites, than Brandi deserves an Oscar. 

I mean, I don't doubt that Andy Cohen and his minions select ladies who are going to bring the drama and then puts them in situations which are going to create it to the umpteenth degree.  The ladies of Beverly Hills are no different.  Taylor Armstrong alone brings enough dramatics for a Broadway production. 

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies got wild and out in Ojai. I have to say last night was one of the most fun episodes ever and it makes you think if they all got their panties out of a wad, relaxed, and spoke to each other like normal people instead of obsessing over petty drama they'd all get along and be fun. But alas, that would be too easy and far too mature. 

Things begin with the girls still in Ojai where Brandi Glanville has just dropped the eff-bomb at Buckingham Palace in front of Queen Elizabeth and her corgis. Oh, wait –  no she didn't. She just said it to Adrienne Maloof, but the way these ninnies were acting you'd think this was the most official, classy, elegant prestigious dinner in all the world. I don't know why they were all getting up on their high horses acting like they've never said F-U before when we all know they use it. Right, Splits Richards?

Anyway, Brandi and Kim Richards were doing a big Ojai love-in and pouring their hearts out when Adrienne gets on the intercom with her whiny, donkey voice to announce that someone is crying in Aisle 5 and clean-up is required. Repeat, someone – ahem KIM – is crying!

So Brandi was forced to tell Adrienne to eff off and everyones' heads snapped around like Adrienne just announced that someone was peeing on a Chanel bag. Their mouths dropped, and they glared at Brandi as if she was pee culprit desecrating the holy statue. 

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I feel like there is a giant math equation regarding how much gossip we hear about the show in proportion to the ratio of time a housewives franchise has been on the air divided by the amount of certified crazies in the cast and then taken to the third power of the square root of how many on-air divorces occur multiplied by the number of husbands we think could potentially be cheating.  It's like E=MC² up in here!

Given all of those mathematical conundrums, it only makes sense we'd be hearing a lot the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at the moment.  We've got the crazies, we've got the divorces, and I have some suspicions about some of those husbands!  First up, we've got Brandi Glanville engaging in yet another Twitter war with home wrecker (don't sue me!) LeAnn Rimes and more news on the Adrienne Maloof front.

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You may not agree, but I think Brandi Glanville is the spice so needed for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  She's brash, she's offensive, she's everything her counterparts want to be but pretend that they're not.  You add in the fact that Brandi's ex-husband Eddie Cibrian couldn't keep it in his pants, and she proceeds to run into his former mistresses throughout 90210, and you've got a great reality recipe for drama.

I know y'all recall the SUR party last season (you know, the one Cedric  Martinez tried to crash, not to be confused with this season's Villa Blanca party when Adrienne Maloof sent that passive aggressive jungle arrangement to Lisa Vanderpump) when Brandi ran smack dab into SUR waitress Scheana Marie who had once gotten to know Eddie really well…if you catch my drift.

Fast forward to Scheana starring in Bravo's new Vanderfabulous spin-off Vanderpump Rules, and she's all over the media yet again for that unfortunate run in with Brandi.  Of course, Brandi handled the situation with as much class as Brandi can…she did a better job than I would have expected.  From previews, we know that the women will come face-to-face yet again (thanks producers!) to finally say their peace, and now media outlets are revisiting that original awkward meeting as Bravo hypes its newest reality show.

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First of all let me apologize for this beast being so late, but good things come to those who wait, right? Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, boy did we witness some groveling. It was down in the dirt, on your knees, begging kind of groveling as Queen Lisa Vanderpump barely acknowledged her subject's pleas for redemption. 

I should say last night's episode was a study in relationship building and friendship, but also in status. New alliances were drawn, and enemy lines began to be sorted out. Also, the ladies took a trip to Ojai where apparently magic happens. But no amount of magic can make these girls behave in public. 

Things begin with two ladies afflicted by a curse of over botoxing and an unfortunate affinity for ugly blouses facing off in a quaint little restaurant. One lady, a benevolent but stern queen, and the other a marginally disgraced princess who is quivering and anxious with anticipation. Yes, Adrienne Maloof has realized she made enemies with the wrong lady, because while Lisa can be sweet as rosé, she will cut a bitch faster than she'll discard a wilting rose. 

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Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville have been at each other's throats since last year's reunion. And things are about to explode staring with tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode. The former friends (Adrienne reportedly got Brandi cast for the show!) get into an argument over Adrienne's marital problems. 

Adrienne and Brandi get into a HUGE fight about Adrienne and Paul [Nassif]’s marriage,” an insider dishes to NY Daily News. 

Apparently the fight began over Adrienne misrepresenting herself to cameras – including behaving as if her marriage was fine while the entire cast knew things were very rocky between Adrienne and Paul

Adrienne has been very controlling about what she allows the cameras to film because she wants to project a certain image of having the perfect life,” the insider explains. 

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Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!

Above: Kyle Richards: Fun in NYC w/ @Iamjennifer @BrandiGlanville @lisavanderpump @NeNeLeakes #RHOA #RHOBH #BasketballWives

Below you’ll find Twitter pics from Tamera Mowry-Housley, Cynthia Bailey, Joanna KrupaNeNe Leakes, Kim Kardashian, Tamra Barney, and more.
 
 
 
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