Jax Taylor, the world’s biggest traitor, is hanging out poolside, grabbing cocktails with Kristen, who is reveling in her splendiforous outing of Tom Sandoval‘s cheating after she trotted Miami Girl, her used lip-plants, and Lee Press-On nails (Google the 80s for that ish!) up to the bar to confront Tom about the size of his peni (too small to warrant an “s”) and what exactly he was doing with it – not Kristen much to her dismay.
Since Kristen is happy and Tom 1 is sabotaged, she is kissing James. Meanwhile Jax looks like someone put something in his vodka – was he roofied?! He’d probably like that. He’s there with Carmen. who despite being dumped over pizza is sticking around for more camera time! She accuses Jax of texting 5 other girls, which was a rhetorical question, right? To prove his innocence Kristen grabs his phone and, oh look! there’s a text from some girl in Vegas that Tom 2 cheated with.
When Andy asks Tom if he blamesJax Taylor for the way things went down on tonight’s episode, with Jax outing him for cheating on Katie in Vegas, he admits that Jax certainly didn’t help his cause. He thinks maybe Jax did it on purpose, but he says, “I guess i don’t have anyone to blame but myself.”
On Kristen getting fired tonight, Tom says it was a long time coming. Andy says the celebration was crazy and he’s obsessed with the clip of the cooks in the SUR kitchen high fiving at the news.
For some odd reason Ariana Madix‘s blog isn’t posted on Bravo. Is it because in it the Vanderpump Rules star explains what really went on between Tom Sandoval and “Miami Girl” Annemarie Kunkel?
Tom was a guest on WWHL last Monday, where he proclaimed Bravo omitted much of the Miami story and didn’t give the behind-the-scenes details, Andy Cohen didn’t deny anything Tom said, and according to Ariana there were many, many things viewers weren’t privy too! Of course, the couple understands Bravo has a story to tell, and can’t include everything, but that doesn’t mean she has to keep quiet about it!
Thankfully Ariana wrote a very illuminating blog which she posted to her Tumblr where she snarks at Lisa Vanderpump, explains what we missed, and throws Kristen Doute some serious shade!
“In Brandi‘s last blog she said she came to our poker party and was so hungry because it was dinner time and we had no food – aww – I guess she has to blame someone for her actions,” snarked Eileen. “But honestly, folks? It wasn’t EXACTLY dinner time. It was between 8:30 and 9:00 PM. And it wasn’t a DINNER party. It was a POKER party. A DINNER party is where you sit down at a table and have dinner. A poker party is where you sit down at a table and play poker. And even so, we had hors d’oeuvres, such as those ‘little pancakes that are for children‘ that are usually known as blinis.” HAHA!!
So here we are at Eileen Davidson‘s house where Kyle and Brandi are sobbing, shrieking, and shoving each other in the driveway. I’m pretty sure we learned in kindergarten to use conversation to solve problems, not name-calling, cuss words, gift bags, hands, side-boobs, bracelets, wine, or pizza?! Or Eileen’s driveway!
And while Kyle and Brandi are arguing over who gets custody of Kim Richards, Kim is standing their like “Duuuuuuude… I’m high. Where’s my pizza?” Literally she asked Brandi what happened to the pizza slice – well Brandi threw at your sister, Kim. I would say go grab another one but you’re probably banned from Eileen’s home!
In case you had blocked out the disaster that was poker night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, allow me to refresh your memory: two drunki-drunkifers, one Boozdi, one Rambles, behaved absolutely appallingly while guests in Eileen Davidson‘s home, then Brandi and Kyle Richards got into a scrapping fit over who got to play over-zealous nursemaid to Kim Richards. Luckily for Lisa Vanderpump she was off vacationing in Mexico. Bitch!
Despite missing the party of the century, Lisa is weighing in on what she observed and is shocked by both Kim and Brandi Glanville‘s behavior, and she also defends her new re-friend Kyle!
“So once again another week passes, and this episode is the start of a tumultuous ride, where alliances take a different path,” reflects Lisa. “We witness the car journey with the incongruous relationship of Brandi and Kyle in the car discussing the success of Kim’s sobriety and the path her life has taken.”
“Then things take a sharp turn as the evening unfolds. That relationship shatters and much is revealed,” begins Lisa.
Tom was loitering, casually constructed behind the bar at SUR, when a trainwreck of botched lip implants and an immobile face appeared before him! He jumped; he recoiled in horror. No, not because he saw who it was – Annemarie from Miami – but because she ordered a Cosmo (is this Sex And the City circa 2002?!) – then he bolted. From her vantage point across the restaurant, perfectly positioned so she could witness the showdown while guzzling wine, Kristen leapt from her seat and went running after him. This wasn’t supposed to happen – Tom was supposed to run TOWARDS Kristen, not away from SUR.
So now that we’ve set the scene, let’s rewind – Lord knows I did a lot of that last night to catch every wimple of drama.
An all new batch of reality star photos to kick off our week! In today’s gallery we have everyone from Farrah Abraham to Lisa Vanderpump to the Real Housewives of New York cast dancing on a bar!
Above: Farrah Abraham and her new man host a Toga Party at Ghostbar Dayclub inside Palms Casino Resort.
Lisa Vanderpump hit the red carpet ahead of her judging duties at the Miss Universe pageant while the RHONY cast members kicked up their heels and had a good time together. Yolanda Foster’s daughters GigiandBella attended The Daily Front Row’s 1st Annual Fashion Los Angeles awards.