Lisa Vanderpump

Eden Sassoon

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills viewers barely got to know Eden Sassoon. Other than mentions of her long hugs, dating app connections, and her famous dad, we got nothing from her other than some drama with Kyle Richards and Kim Richards, which was way out of her league.

She had no chance arguing with the OG cast members. Unfortunately for Eden, she was on her Richards crusade thanks to false information from Lisa Rinna. Unfortunately for the viewers, Eden didn’t amuse us with anything other than that black wig she wore during the Hong Kong trip.

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion, Kim Richards de-gifted the blue bunny Lisa Rinna gave her as a peace offering baby gift for her grandson.

Like WHO does that? Can you even imagine the behind-the-scenes of this blue bunny? Of how Kim has kept it stashed away somewhere for months and months, just plotting how she can use it to best Lipsa. Probably talking about it ad nauseum to Kyle Richards, and her poor daughter Brooke, constantly pretending to listen to the travail of Rambles and Lipsa and Bad Vibes Bunny. Kim moving in to her new condo and bringing the bunny with her, making a big deal to hide it from Kingsley, (I mean and Hucksley); planning and plotting to de-gift it and then WHOOSH – making it reappear at the reunion.

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PK & Dorit talk Pantygate

Apparently the phrase “British humor” is the go-to excuse to defend questionable behavior on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. They get to say whatever is on their mind, but they got off consequence free under the guise that the insult was uttered in good fun. I have no idea how Dorit Kemsley thinks that she can get away with British humor since she’s a Connecticut native, but it’s actually working out pretty well for her.

She managed to make this entire season about her and it was only her first year. Clearly, this is a woman who knows how to navigate a social circle. Props to her. Sure, she brought down my girl Erika Girardi in the process, but I have to admit that she really knows what she’s doing. Love her or hate her, she was meant to be a Housewife. That’s for damn sure. She knows how to stir the pot and she looks good doing it.

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pump-rules-reunion-shay

Well that’s it – another season of Vanderpump Rules done and done! But the third part of the reunion ended with quite a bang when Scheana Marie‘s estranged husband Mike Shay appeared to say everything and nothing at all.

Good lord – the girls on this show are ridiculous! Like Katie Maloney, nothing is ever Scheana’s fault as she just demands, cries, and throws tantrums then blames everyone else. Tom 2 – consider Shay your warning; Robert Valleta – consider Tom 2 your warning.

Before we witness Scheana Marie collapse into a cloud of pressed powder, we have much ground to cover. While Andy wasted time last week trying to make Stassi Schroeder‘s brother ‘happen,’ the reunion could have focused on all the drama between James Kennedy and Kristen Doute, or that time Tom 2 almost canceled his wedding while pooping in a wedding gown, as Tom 1 was crying in a Sia costume. Aaaaahhh… good times in New Orleans!

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Vanderpump Rules - Season 2

I will never stop watching Vanderpump Rules, but I do find myself missing the show’s early days. Those first couple of seasons were iconic. From Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder’s all-encompassing romantic relationship to single Jax “dating” multiple people at once, there was always something crazy happening in every single episode. I do still love this show, but there are plenty of things that I miss about the beginning of Vanderpump Rules.

I’m all for moving forward, but there are plenty of other things about the beginning of Pump Rules.

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Ashley Darby

It must feel nice for Ashley Darby to no longer feel like the “new girl” in the Real Housewives of Potomac clique, after she was given such a hard time last year. Still, this doesn’t seem like it’s going to be the easiest season for her thanks to the Australian restaurant she opened with her husband.

Apparently, Ashley hasn’t watched other Real Housewives shows because opening a restaurant has always served as a difficult story line. Lisa Vanderpump is the only exception here, but she’s had decades of experience and owns multiple restaurants. On top of being a tough business in general, the Australian menu seems to be a tough sell in the United States. That and the almost three decade age difference between Ashley and her husband Michael Darby foreshadow difficult times to come.

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion was wash, rinse, and repeat pantygate. And even though the stains have come out, Erika Girardi and Dorit Kemsley still can’t toss them in the drawer and move on. Can’t one of Dorit’s three full-time housekeepers clean up this mess? What about “Soapy and Sudsy“?

Andy Cohen wastes no time defrosting the world of Erika Jayne, wondering why she has to be so cold? But Andy and I are on different time frames, so my first order of business is discussing wardrobe. Which means Kyle Richards.

UGH. How does Kyle By KantDressTooThousand expect us to take her boutique seriously when she is wearing a cold-shoulder leotard that she put a strapless bra over. With a skirt that looks like shape wear. SERIOUSLY!? I just cannot. even. fathom. why?! Kyle is aware that when organizing a ‘sitting down for TV outfit’ one should, you know, TEST how it looks while seated? Apparently, these are things only non-showbiz people know – the former F-list child stars did not get such stellar education.

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Lala

On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)

One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!

So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!

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