“In Brandi‘s last blog she said she came to our poker party and was so hungry because it was dinner time and we had no food – aww – I guess she has to blame someone for her actions,” snarked Eileen. “But honestly, folks? It wasn’t EXACTLY dinner time. It was between 8:30 and 9:00 PM. And it wasn’t a DINNER party. It was a POKER party. A DINNER party is where you sit down at a table and have dinner. A poker party is where you sit down at a table and play poker. And even so, we had hors d’oeuvres, such as those ‘little pancakes that are for children‘ that are usually known as blinis.” HAHA!!
So here we are at Eileen Davidson‘s house where Kyle and Brandi are sobbing, shrieking, and shoving each other in the driveway. I’m pretty sure we learned in kindergarten to use conversation to solve problems, not name-calling, cuss words, gift bags, hands, side-boobs, bracelets, wine, or pizza?! Or Eileen’s driveway!
And while Kyle and Brandi are arguing over who gets custody of Kim Richards, Kim is standing their like “Duuuuuuude… I’m high. Where’s my pizza?” Literally she asked Brandi what happened to the pizza slice – well Brandi threw at your sister, Kim. I would say go grab another one but you’re probably banned from Eileen’s home!
In case you had blocked out the disaster that was poker night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, allow me to refresh your memory: two drunki-drunkifers, one Boozdi, one Rambles, behaved absolutely appallingly while guests in Eileen Davidson‘s home, then Brandi and Kyle Richards got into a scrapping fit over who got to play over-zealous nursemaid to Kim Richards. Luckily for Lisa Vanderpump she was off vacationing in Mexico. Bitch!
Despite missing the party of the century, Lisa is weighing in on what she observed and is shocked by both Kim and Brandi Glanville‘s behavior, and she also defends her new re-friend Kyle!
“So once again another week passes, and this episode is the start of a tumultuous ride, where alliances take a different path,” reflects Lisa. “We witness the car journey with the incongruous relationship of Brandi and Kyle in the car discussing the success of Kim’s sobriety and the path her life has taken.”
“Then things take a sharp turn as the evening unfolds. That relationship shatters and much is revealed,” begins Lisa.
Tom was loitering, casually constructed behind the bar at SUR, when a trainwreck of botched lip implants and an immobile face appeared before him! He jumped; he recoiled in horror. No, not because he saw who it was – Annemarie from Miami – but because she ordered a Cosmo (is this Sex And the City circa 2002?!) – then he bolted. From her vantage point across the restaurant, perfectly positioned so she could witness the showdown while guzzling wine, Kristen leapt from her seat and went running after him. This wasn’t supposed to happen – Tom was supposed to run TOWARDS Kristen, not away from SUR.
So now that we’ve set the scene, let’s rewind – Lord knows I did a lot of that last night to catch every wimple of drama.
An all new batch of reality star photos to kick off our week! In today’s gallery we have everyone from Farrah Abraham to Lisa Vanderpump to the Real Housewives of New York cast dancing on a bar!
Above: Farrah Abraham and her new man host a Toga Party at Ghostbar Dayclub inside Palms Casino Resort.
Lisa Vanderpump hit the red carpet ahead of her judging duties at the Miss Universe pageant while the RHONY cast members kicked up their heels and had a good time together. Yolanda Foster’s daughters GigiandBella attended The Daily Front Row’s 1st Annual Fashion Los Angeles awards.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!
True Tori star Tori Spelling shared, “In bed with a terrible migraine. 3 things getting me thru it… bag of frozen peas (quick fix for ice pack), homemade lavender face mist (great essential oil for headaches), and Saranoni blanket in Ivory a must for the bedroom.”
Other than habitual mind games, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should swear off game nights. The first one ended with a woman on crutches losing her crutches and being called a “slut pig” (holy foreshadowing metaphors at work there), and this latest one involved one woman almost needing crutches after being shoved down the stairs with a piece of pizza. Andy Cohen is redefining class for the modern age!
It all starts out innocently enough, Kyle Richards plans a spa day and the girls put on an odd assortment of outfits ranging from soccer mom at Target to ladies who lunch at Bergdorffs. (Lisa Vanderpump has been suffering from an over-dressing problem lately. Brandi Glanville has been suffering from a combo of under-dress/not wearing enough clothes problem).
Yolanda Foster is skipping this wonderful event, because despite being not being able to read, nor write, nor watch TV, she is in NYC micromanaging Gigi and Bella’s modeling careers and zipping around the globe hot on My Love‘s tail. YoFridgidaire is also seriously trying to make the stupid ‘Tile of Love’ walls happen because she sends Kyle a photo of her posed in front of the magnificent one the housekeepers made for Bella’s new apartment. I shade, but those Hadid girls are beyond beautiful and seem to have a really sweet relationship.
Everyone has returned from Miami in high spirits – Lisa Vanderpump is impressed they managed to take a vacation without killing Scheana. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix even believe Tom’s talk with Kristen has given her the closure she needs and everything is peaceful. That peace, is the quiet before the storm, sadly.
Scheana Marie Almost Famous has anointed herself as diplomat of SUR and plans to ask Lisa for a raise after all the good work she did using penis straws to reunite the group. Poor Stassi is left out in the cold. She hasn’t just been shivering outside, pressing her face against the window and drooling over the fried goat cheese balls, she’s been beading! Stassi has been hustling! She’s not just living off her parents! Stassi’s real hustle is convincing people to actually interact with her.