If this year’s Reality Tea Readers’ Choice Awards have taught us anything, it’s that if you put Lisa Vanderpump on any reality show, she’s the favorite. At least as far as our readers are concerned. In not so shocking news, Lisa has won our final category of Favorite Real Housewife of 2015. Lisa was up against the other Real Housewives who won their own respective franchise category last week.
“I’m glad Yolanda suggested that we get together at this charming park by her house,” shared Erika. “It was nice to get her out and walking and to meet Kyle. Yolanda was right; we both have a lot in common. We’re the same age, we were both young moms, and we work in entertainment.”
Eileen described this episode as “a learning experience” in her blog.
“One, I learned that even swans have emergency rooms. Really, Hanky? Not nice to bite the hand that literally feeds you! Get well soon, and learn some swan manners before you’re singing your swan song. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.),” joked Eileen. “Two, during the tour of CBS, I learned that Lisa [Vanderpump] (or Eve Harrington as I’ll now call her) wouldn’t hesitate to steal my job. Three, I find out Lisa [Rinna] has had a relationship with her bikini waxer for longer than I have known my husband. Four, I also learned that now I can do anything I have ever wanted, because Lisa R had her fanny waxed on national TV.”
Last week Brandi fired off a text to Lisa which said, “Merry Christmas vanderC*nt and yes i am having my moment AND it’s amazing!!! How is yours???? hahahahah #karmasabitch Or is it a c-nt?? Hahahaha.” The timing of the text came just after Lisa revealed that her dog, Daddio, the father of Giggy, alopecia-wonder-pom, had passed away.
Lisa retaliated by putting Brandi on blast on twitter, then TMZ, to accuse Brandi’s “karma” text of being a reference to Daddio’s death. Brandi insists Lisa was well-aware that her text had nothing to do with Daddio’s death, because Brandi is a passionate dog feeces as home decor lover and “doesn’t check in on her [Lisa’s] life”.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills I learned many important lessons 1) Lyme Disease is airborne via rude comments (and leaky silicone); 2) Gigi Hadid is a child prodigy in the kitchen; 3) Pink heels are a patented trademark and copyright of Lisa Vanderpump; 4) Late-night pharmaceutical commercials are correct: depression hurts; 5) 70 is the new 17 as pertains to male horniness; 6) swan attacks are serious (thriller starring Kim Richards coming soon – Swanado: The Revenge Of Hanky); 7) There is an uglier, more overpriced item in Beverly Hills than $25,000 sunglasses and that is the Cartier Panther ring; And finally 8) Erika Jayne is living out all of our ABBA disco queen fantasies – except we’ve never heard of her. I still like the bitch. She’s fierce. (note sarcasm of my language, but I do like Erika because she’s sassy and not easily intimidated, but still classy).
OK, well see ya next week – I gotta make sure I didn’t contract Lyme Disease from my TV. Cause like that shit is VIRAL. Even Kyle Richards may have a little bit of Lyme, or Munchausen By Proxy From Friends. I think that’s called ‘Keeping Up With The Vanderpump-itis” and yes, Kyle is quite afflicted!
I have a major bone to pick with this show. Let’s call it a reality check shall we, since this is supposed to be a reality show and all. Why are they still trying to make Kristen happen? Honestly – would any ‘real’ friend expect you to go on a birthday vacation with your crazy ex-girlfriend? NO!
Once Kristen andJames Kennedy split, Kristen lost her place on this show – we’re now just seeing a regurgitated storyline of everyone fake-forgiving Kristen and unconvincingly acting as if they want to be her friend so Bravo can justify the antics she may cause. It’s super-phony. James is the new crazy-ass – let’s embrace that and hook Stassi Schroeder and Kristen up with a little Pump Rules Scorned Spinoff instead. Because Kristen pretending she wants forgiveness and has really changed; she’s too bad an actress to convince anyone of that. And furthermore her hitting the club for Jax Taylor to teach her how to avoid players while she makes creepy-Hunchback of Notre Dame faces was cringeworthy. Likewise I am tired of watching Tom 1 and Ariana Madix freakout, whine, and tantrum over Kristen.
Let’s see how our favorite reality TV stars celebrated the holiday… some were nice, some were naughty, and some were their everyday famewhore selves that we love to snark on so very much.
Above: Gretchen Rossi shared, “Merry Christmas Everyone!!! Us being total and complete dorks, me in my hello kitty p.j.’s (of course in pink) andSlade in his super silly Santa shorts, with our 3 fur babies. Rest of the family is headed over now. #HappyHolidays #MerryChristmas”