Last night on Real Housewives of New York one special housewife had a resurgence of adolescence when all she talked about was me, me, me, mememememememmememememe! Yep – one whole long hour of Aviva Drescher, her phobias, the horrible St. Barths psycation, and her problems with Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Cum. Luckily Heather Thomson was there to speak for the masses, be the voice of reason, and finally suggest that she maybe just LET. IT. GO.
Things begin with a dinner party in a lovely UES apartment. Attending the party are siamese twins Pinot Singer and Sonja Morgan and their frienemy LuAnn de Lesseps. Apparently all three ladies share a mutual friend who is probably looking for camera time because she's selling her apartment, her recipes, her interior design business, her dignity, her husband, whatever…
LuAnn lets us know things have been strained with Jacques since she told him about the incidents in St. Barths, mainly pertaining to a late-night episode in piratry, so she's been giving him extra reassurance that she cares.
Following Monday's crazy St. Barths finale I have a feeling the Real Housewives of New York still haven't recovered from the vacation no one ever needed (or wanted!). Thanks Bravo.
Heather Thomson managed to be in a small minority (re: party of two) of people who didn't embarrass the hell out of themselves and lose their sanity (or their underwear), which is commendable given the environment. Again, thanks Bravo!
When asked if the show has changed her life – or her business – Heather agreed that there was definitely a "big change".
"When I first signed on for the show, I expected it to be a really four solid months of my life. It's not. It's a year, it's a full-time job. It never stops. I mean, from filming the show to the talking heads, the interviews, appearing on Andy [Cohen]'s show, to the press that you do to support the show and the cast — and of course I'm not going to not do all of that — so it's always on my agenda, every week. Even when we're done filming."
Last night on MTV Real World Spring Break, oh… errrr…Oops! I mean Middle-Aged (Wannabe) Girls Gone Wild. Oh… danggit – I mean Real Housewives of New York! There we go, that's the right show. Anyway, last night on RHONY the battle between Turtletime and Hurricane Aviva continued to rage. I think we're going to have to declare this one a draw because both these crazies went in circles like a typhoon and I don't think anything was resolved!
So things begin with a little bitching and arguing over what else – girls trip vs. couple's retreat. What about therapeutic retreat? Why didn't Bravo call in some therapists to assist with the lunacy and sit everyone down for a good ol' " I feel" session followed by some team building exercises?
Over breakfast, Reid and Russ are present and this is not acceptable. A clearly hung-over Sonja Morgan is shoveling in the food at warp speed and complaining about being called white trash. Pinot Singer and Sonja try to "pretend" they have no idea what that even means and hop on Google for a little investigative research. They get on dictionary.com and are most surprised to find a photo of themselves right next to the description. Oh, that can't be because White Trash means "poor" and they are not poor. They are just bankrupt and married to (or divorced from) money. Then someone distracts them by yelling wine and they decide oh, well at least White Trash means you're nice and it doesn't have anything to do with being inhospitable anyway.
LuAnn de Lesseps has been in the spotlight a lot recently – for all the wrong reasons! The Real Housewives of New York star has been accused of cheating on camera with a very dashing young pirate. LuAnn emphatically denies that any sort of misdeeds took place, but sometimes the lady doth protests too much!
In a new interview with the Miami New Times, LuAnn discusses the alleged cheating and how this season has been different with Jill Zarin and Alex McCord out of the picture!
"I was really, really sad about that," LuAnn says of learning Jill was fired. "Jill is the one that got me on the show. I met Jill and she said, 'I think you would be perfect!' I really miss Jill and Kelly [Bensimon]. Alex and Simon [van Kempen] I could live without." The feelings must be mutual as Simon recently did an interview in which he openly wondered if LuAnn was a "liar" or a "slut!"
While the Real Housewives of New York star maintains that things were kept strictly platonic and she didn't get to swashbucklin with a certain pirate, RadarOnline reports that LuAnn's longtime beau is ready to make her walk the plank over the rumors!
"All of the housewives are sent advanced copies of the upcoming episode that is going to be aired a week beforehand," a source close to the situation reveals. "Normally, LuAnn and Jacques watch the upcoming episode together but this past week, for the first time in a very long time, they didn't."
Last night on Real Housewives of New York gale force winds and torrential rains swept through the tiny island of St. Barths. Yes, Hurricane Aviva had arrived and she was there with a vengeance and a fury. Whipping through the villa, shaking the trees with the huffs and blows of her screams and drenching the luxury with her tears and anger.
Oh, Aviva Drescher. She wanted a red carpet, a cookie, for her husband to be exalted as a saint all because she got on an airplane and showed up. Too bad everyone else was like, 'whatever bitch – have a drink.' So yeah – needless to say paths were crossed, enemy lines were drawn, and her arrival sank like a torpedoed submarine.
Before we get to all of that, the girls are still – shockingly – getting along, despite Pinot Singer's insistence at stalking the lovely and handsome pirate one night stand of LuAnn de Lesseps. 'Tomas! Whacha do last night? ' Pinot leered, wine sloshing over the top of her glass, wine bloat bursting out of her hideous flesh-colored dress, eyes popping and crackling with desire. Not desire for Tomas you understand, but desire for incriminating information.
Oh Countess. What a tangled web we weave…The etiquette queen of was caught up in a scandal on the most recent episode of her Housewives franchise. LuAnn De Lesseps, who is dating Ross GellarJacques Azoulay seemed to be straying to a more Johnny Depp-esque pirate beau when the Manhattannite women were vacationing in St. Barths.
While her cast mates wondered who she'd come home with after a night on the town, LuAnn found herself in a fistful of Italian lies after she fibbed about who came home with her after a night of partying on the island. The truth will set you free, LeAnn…or at least, it won't make it look like you're hooking up with a pirate while your French boyfriend waits in New York to give you a new baby. Oh the scandal!