What is happening with Sonja Morgan? Remember when she was the zany, lovable, yet refreshingly sensible one from her first season? Remember when she was THE VOICE OF REASON on Scary Island? Clearly Kelly Bensimon sent Sonja a care package of some gummy bears and Al Sharpton posters because Sonja has left the building – quick someone grab a snatch guard!
The ladies of Real Housewives Of New York are supposed to be headed to Atlantic City by way of Le Crumbles Magnificique Abode, where the interns reign supreme and the heat is emitted only from the bank of toaster ovens plugged into the wall in what was formerly the maid’s quarters, but has electricity that runs from the neighbor’s mansion. Sonja wanted the girls to meet at her home to board a party-limo to AC for Ramona Singer‘s Suddenly Single Birthday Bash, but she’s late and leaves them all outside – in very in-climate weather.
Heather Thomson, Kristen Taekman, and Dorinda Medley arrived – on time – but Sonja was lost in the abyss of her thrice re-Sharpied Chanels and her twice-re-superglued Oscars figuring out what to pack and wouldn’t let the girls in – even to wait in the vestibule! Seriously – she had an intern open the door, then promptly shut it in their faces, because Lady Morgan wasn’t ready to accept guests. An intern can’t entertain them with magic tricks while Sonja packs!? I hear Sno-Cone can juggle and make tea simultaneously!
Brandi asked Kristen if her co-stars have been supportive of her soon-to-be launched nail polish line, Pop. “Yes, some more than others, and you’ll have to see how the whole thing unfolds because it’s really interesting,” teased Kristen. “The people that you think will be these huge supporters end up not.”
Brandi said Kristen is more guarded this season. “I guess,” she said. “After a couple drinks, though, it all kind of goes away, and I definitely had some crazy verbiage this year.” This prompted Brandi to say she has cut back on her wine consumption. So, down from $1800 worth per month to, like, $1500?
“Every single thought is mine, word for word! I may not cook my own meals some times, but I certainly write my own thoughts,” LuAnn declares.
And Luann is pointing out the irony that the ghostwriter accusation is now on the other foot (pun intended there – I’ll be here all week folks!). “The idea that Carole, of all people, is accusing me of using a ‘ghostwriter’ is as laughable as it is pathetic,” Luann seethes. “It might seem out of character for me, as some would say, because I haven’t been this upset with a cast member since Ramona [Singer] was being a nightmare. (Back then, I wasn’t as engaged with social media as I am now.).”
Toaster Ovens and Yummie Tummies and Nigerian Football Teams – Oh My!
Heather Thomsontouches on them all in her latest Bravo blog, claiming that she has Sonja Morgan’s best interests at heart despite what Sonja (and the viewers) might think. Heather starts by saying, “I’ve always tried to be on Team Sonja. And to contradict her recent blog, I don’t ever, have never, and will never stand on a soap box unless I am advocating for a charity or helping others.”
Although she might not have it out for Sonja, Heather does say she will not be burned twice when it comes to entering Sonja’s world of unicorns and rainbows. “I have been down Sonja ‘Sexy J’ Morgan’s rabbit hole before: spending valuable time, energy, and favors on her pursuits, unfortunately, to no end,” she says, adding that “I was simply not in the know that Sonja had sourced a group to back a fashion endeavor, hiring freelance consultants and a designer to pull a collection together. And I was surprised to learn from Bethenny [Frankel]that she had. I was interested to learn more about it and lend whatever I potentially could. But,‘The Countess’boomed in and, as the case often goes, things flew off the rails. And it’s frustrating.”
Although inherently likable in a crazy semi-drunken auntie kind of way, Sonja Morgan is quickly heading into Kim Richards territory with her constant “Don’t ask me about my businesses! My businesses are FINE! I am not struggling with my businesses!!” Hmmm…we thinketh the lady doth protest too much, no? In her Bravo blog, Lady Morgan attempts yet again to set the record straight about her many business ventures, her relationships with the other Real Housewives of New York ladies, and why she thinks Bethenny Frankelhas ulterior motives. Putting Bethenny (the only person willing to enter into Sonja’s delusions to ‘help’ her at this point) on blast right away, Sonja opens her blog by saying, “I don’t feel like Bethenny is really able to understand my businesses and my situation enough to ask some of the driving questions at this point. Especially after the briefing she got from the other girls who pretend I haven’t been working my tail off and don’t know how to run a business.” She adds that Bethenny’s realistic and savvy inappropriate questions darn near give her the vapors! “Bethenny can get a person flustered, though. Like when we were talking about how I had to file the Chapter 11. Bethenny has never had to do that before that I know of and really doesn’t understand the process. Believe me, no one knows until they live it,” says Sonja.
Backtracking a bit, Sonja adds, “I didn’t mean to come off as ungrateful to the process of reorganization when I said that there would be fumes left if I sold the house. I was just caught off guard, because Bethenny has a habit of cutting people off and throwing her generalized opinions so freely.” As for her explanation of how the real estate market works, well, let’s just read it straight from the intern’s mind of Sonja: “I definitely have been blessed to have the opportunity to sell off assets to pay the judgment. Very! It’s enabled me to keep my house, my asset, and stability for my young daughter. Sorry, Bethenny, selling real estate and scaling down is not good business. Only sell to go bigger, leverage, and take tax advantages. That is if you can. I have owned my real estate for 18 years; it would be a shame to take a hit with that kind of appreciation.” She will not be scaled down, people! Her yacht may have sailed, but her dinghy is comin’ on in!
Andy tells Carole about Luann’s Tweets, claiming that her niece and Adam were still seeing each other and were even planning a trip together. “No, let me be clear. The truth is they broke up over a year before I met Adam and the trip that she’s referring to is a trip to Nicaragua where he runs a nonprofit, a farm. And they were going with a whole group of people. After they broke up they remained friends and are still very friendly to this day.”
The true story of Real Housewives Of New York is not what’s happening on the episode, but what’s happening on twitter while the episode is airing. Things have gone from A to F–ked with Luann de Lesseps and Carole Radziwill slamming each other something l0w-down dirty and arguing over the proclivities and scheduling conflicts of a thirty-something boy. They’re like two mommies in a custody dispute. Ladies – it’s embarrassing.
Basically Carole started dating Luann’s nieces ex-boyfriend, but didn’t tell Luann because she’s scared of what Lu will think. Even though Carole claims the niece and the fling broke up over a year ago. Interesting. Before all that cockamamie nonsense, we have to get to Sonja Morgan‘s cockamamie nonsense – and she doesn’t swallow unless its for a Black Card (or a pinot).