Dorinda Medley has had it with balmy beaches, beautiful blue skies, and warm ocean breezes – oh, and shady co-stars, bitchy drama, and hysterical meltdowns over seemingly small things.
Last week the ladies left Turks and Caicos. Sadly the trip ended on a hysterical note after Heather Thomson saw… A MAN. OK, I get it – who wants someone’s unattended one-night stand wandering around your shared beach house, but the reaction was a tad over-the-top. Heather should have reigned that in with some YummieTummie control-top shapers.
Dorinda believes that some of her Real Housewives Of New York co-stars were way too concerned with the “What Ifs…” instead of letting and letting live for the sake of avoiding drama.
I was hoping Luann de Lesseps’ blog would give us some juicy inside information on what we didn’t see on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, but other than hinting that she didn’t get past first base with the “Englishman” (wait – wasn’t he Scottish?) she brought home, she spends most of her time rehashing what we’ve already witnessed on screen. Maintaining that Heather Thomson and Carole Radziwill broke #GirlCode, Luann still seems rip-roaring mad about them barging in on her the morning after Heather found an unattended naked man in the room adjoining hers.
Noting that she’s writing this week from Ibiza, Spain, on vacation with “great friends and enjoying the fabulous nightlife,” Luann jumps right into the “‘f— you dinner‘ where Dorinda [Medley] reached her dirty martini limit.” Luann shares, “Heather being her usual bossy self, shooed Dorinda from the table so they could resolve their issues alone. Ramona [Singer] followed the girls into the bathroom and basically forced a hug on Dorinda and that’s when Heather got all gangsta on her so she would leave. I think Heather intimidated Ramona into backing off, and I believe Ramona when she said she felt scared.”
“So Carole gave me the recap that the Countess is back. I respectfully disagree. The old ‘uncool’ countess doesn’t say, ‘Be cool’ when naked men are throughout the house,” the veteran Real Housewives Of New York star cites. “Luann’s only issue was that she felt her friends were ratting her out trying to catch her doing something. Her issue wasn’t that she was trying to hide whatever took place for the eight hours prior to that moment. There is an important distinction.”
The waves came crashing down on Real Housewives Of New York. There were so many rules of engagement and disengagement, I’m not sure who broke what and if they used an icepick or a d-ck. Between Class With The Countess, How-Tos With Heather, and Bossing By Bethenny there was just a whole lotta lecturing going on. Ladies – just stop being so uncool and let Ramona Singer get her groove on.
Things resume at the F-U dinner, but the only thing they’re feasting on is each other and still fighting about whether or not an F-bomb is an acceptable way to pepper a conversation. Dorinda Medley starts sobbing. Heather Thomson rushes her to console her in the bathroom, but here comes Ramona, all gold lamé and I want it my way, wedging herself between Heather and Dorinda. Dorinda is RAMONA’s FRIEND – Hands OFF!
The Countess and Heather were formerly close pals but things have taken a dramatically different turn. Things started to unravel in last week’s episode when they argued over f-bombs. Heather called Luann out for being a hypocrite – rightfully so – and in the final day of Turks and Caicos things erupt over who brought a man to the house and left him unattended in the middle of the night.
Expressing frustration over what became of their friendship Heather has seen sides to Luann she definitely doesn’t like. “I don’t even recognize Luann this season,” the outspoken Real Housewives Of New York star admits. “I guess what she’s saying with ‘Don’t count out the Countess’ is that after a demotion on the show, she’s found her legs again and came back with a vengeance.”
Well, well…another day, another dollar; another Real Housewife, another vodka collection. Luann de Lesseps is the latest Bravolebrity to unleash her own alcoholic beverage on us.
A Real Housewife and her booze will not be soon parted, so I suppose it only makes sense that of all the industries a Housewife goes in to the cocktail industry. Luann will be joining the ranks of Housewives booze endeavors, pioneered of course by her Real Housewives Of New York co-stars Ramona Singer and Bethenny Frankel, with ‘Countess Collection’ vodka, available this fall.