I made sure to wear my eclipse safety glasses while staring at the California sun, so I wouldn’t damage my eyes and miss seeing the drama on last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County. It’s a good thing too, because Kelly Dodd was wearing scrunchies on her wrists!
Last night was certainly a Me! Me! Me! episode – aren’t they all? – but this one was especially bad! It started with Vicki Gunvlason announcing that Briana’s uterus and Mike’s sperm belong to her! Cause Coto Insurance needs more worker bees to take over the family hive.
Aka, Vicki needs more grandchildren. NOW! NOW! NOW! Her sage advice to Mike is “date to mate,” as in he should only be sleeping with women he plans to reproduce with. Not before they sign a baby-nup, right?! I have a feeling Mike has listened to “Gold Digger” many-a-times and ain’t gonna get stuck with no 18 years. Either that or no woman wants to get stuck with Vicki for the next 18 years!
Aside from shamelessly promoting her magazine, her main story line this season is her supposed quest to reunite the friendships in the cast- even though she herself never kept in touch with Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge when she left the show and she isn’t close to anyone in the cast. It all seems way out of bounds for her take on, but she is still really pushing this “friendship whisperer” nonsense.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County, enemy factions were forced to come face-to-face for the second coming, actually THIRD coming, of Jim Edmond‘s reproductive prowess. By that I mean that Meghan Edmonds hosted a Sip and See, and decided the theme would be World War III by Bravo: Bitter-er, Blonder, Boozier.
Vicki Gunvalsonlives in a world in which no one but her equally delusional imaginary friend exists. Vicki’s slip was showing and it certainly was not virginal white as she menacingly promised to make Tamra Judge and Shannon suffer for turning their backs on her, like this is that 90’s Tori Spelling Lifetime movie A Friend To Die For where the unpopular girl takes revenge on the bully cheerleaders. Ugh – if Shannon and Tamra are your aspirational friends, oh dear than you, Vicki, are more screwed up than Brooks led us to believe you were!
Lydia McLaughlin has great hair. That’s all I’ve got. (Kidding! But, I was surprised to hear she’d be back this season, given her mildly “blah” presence last time around). Since her return to The Real Housewives Of Orange County, Lydia has been trying hard to situate herself in the middle of the drama, rather than on its perimeters. Great move to keep that orange, but not so wise in terms of holding on to one’s sanity.
Time to envy the lifestyles of the rich and wannabe famous whose job is being a real Housewife! Lydia McLaughlin is vacationing with her family on the Amalfi Coast in Italy and is sharing some stunning photos of the experience. Hopefully no one throws any plates full of pasta!
First, Peggy expresses disappointment that Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador refused to attend her event out of sheer pettiness. Peggy also regrets being so curt with Shannon on the phone: “I’m glad that the girls were able to make it to our Lamborghini event, although sad that Tamra and Shannon weren’t able to attend. Upon calling Shannon to invite her to the event I hadn’t realized how abruptly I cut her off. The reason why I tried to keep the conversation short was because I didn’t want her to relive those dark moments. She did not owe me any explanation as to why she wasn’t able to attend.”
Unfortunately for Meghan Edmonds, she doesn’t have much of a story line on Real Housewives of Orange County. Fortunately for Meghan this just means that she has a relatively drama free personal life. So obviously she has to dish on the other Housewives to stay on the show.
Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County newbie Peggy Sulahian demonstrated that she doesn’t have to be your mother to be your muva! If you left your manners in the car when you came to her event, Peggy will surely get out the bar of scented soap you sell in your pop-up boutique to wash your mouth out. Peggy certainly taught Meghan Edmonds that children should be seen and not heard! Exactly Meg, just stand there and look all ‘I’ve never had a baby and look at my chessboard inspired dress, cause I’m like smart! And on quest for TRUTH! Justice!”
But first there’s Tamra Judge, who got judged by a parrot that called her “old” as she walked into a restaurant to meet a baby looking like an escapee from a biker bar. How could anyone even see Aspen underneath the giant bow that ate the baby’s face!? I hope that’s not catching…