Aaaahhh… Miami a town where boobs come out to support charity. And not just the kind of boobs stuffed in a bra. Some of those boobs go by the name Joe Francis.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami there was a ton of T&A – meaning a lot of trashiness and a lot of asses. Poor Fembot Fakenstein got it into her pretty little head that she could upstage the mighty Lea Black, Miami's resident charity queen (maybe?), by hosting a lingerie party to support Susan G. Komen. I bet Susan is so proud.
So Fembot invited 800 of Lenny's boob goddesses, asked them to wear the stuff they normally wear to the supermarket and show up at her house, checks drawn and appetite for liquor, drama, and camera time at the ready. Actually I feel bad for Lisa, I think she really thought this would be a fun event and didn't get the memo that Bravo ruins everything. Better luck next time, toots!
Tonight is an all new episode of Real Housewives of Miami and since the ladies act like high school students on the regular I thought it'd be fun to compile a collection of Yearbook Superlatives. Remember those? Most Likely To Succeed, Cutest Couple, Biggest Flirt, etc.
Tonight's episode features the infamous slap and it also features the ever-classy Joe Francis who happens to be a friend and client of Lea Black's. Joe, of Girls Gone Trashy fame, claims he has slept with bothJoanna Krupa and her sister Marta. A claim Joanna denies. Joe has been tweeting up his insistence that it is true and accusing Joanna of bullying him in the press.
Shouldn't Joe be focusing on his massive legal woes and financial issues instead of you know desperately trying to make himself relative through a reality show. Oh what am I saying?!
Anyway, tonight Adriana de Moura slaps Joanna in the face and we all get to watch! Reality Tea will be live-tweeting all the drama and we won't be tearing our drama-starved eyes away from the screen for a moment. So make sure to join us tonight!
Real Housewives of Miami airs tonight on Bravo at 9/10c.
[All Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]
TELL US – ARE YOU EXCITED FOR TONIGHT'S EPISODE OR TIRED OF THE OVER-WROUGHT HW DRAMA?
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, drama was as plentiful as the uneaten food. Joanna Krupa may or may not have caught her fiancé in the throes of a passionate affair. And Adriana de Moura may or may not have accused Karent Sierra of being a desperate delusional famewhore to her face. Oh – and best of all Mama Elsa my or may not have threatened to beat a drag queen's ass. Yep, never a dull moment in the Sunshine State!
Things begin at Alexia Echevarria's party. Karent has come guns blazing after Joanna slipped and told her Adriana was planning to confront her about famewhoring. Karent is like I'll worry about that after photos! CHEESE. That girl was in her Mecca all over the step n repeat!
Inside the party the awkwardness is palpable right away and Adriana is following Karent with narrowed eyes just waiting to strike. Karent is also acting like nothing weird has ever happened with Ana Quincoces and Rodolfo as she keeps trying to yank her in for more photos. Girl – how many photos do you need?
Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak with Marysol Patton from Real Housewives of Miami. Marysol was very easy to talk to and friendly. We discussed how her work plays a big part of her persona on the show, her love of fashion, and how she handles her mom, MamaElsa, becoming the break out star.
Below is an excerpt from our conversation:
Q: What Interested You About Joining RHOM?
Marysol: "The first season, I didn't really know what we were doing. The second season I knew I was doing a Housewives show and I really enjoyed doing it with my mother the first time around, so I thought: 'How could I not?' And mom really wanted to do it. We have a lot of fun working together."
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, a very careful distinction was made. And that distinction was the differences between a regular, old, run of the mill famewhore, and an uber, professional celeb-stalking, paparazzi courting, namedropping famewhore. And guess who announced themselves a member of the latter category?Karent Sierra, dentist to the stars by day, photobombing pseudo-celeb by night!
Only Bravo could find these people and give them a platform for which to promote their ridiculous endeavors? As Adriana de Moura pointed out – "Doesn't she have teeth to drill?"
But before all that drama, Romain Zago is putting his foot down with Marta Krupa. It would appear that Marta, who has no reliable job to speak of, is seeming like a freeloader to Romain, who wonders just why she doesn't help out around the house? Romain spells it out – you're taking advantage of Joanna Krupa.
Marta's all like, 'Yeah, but I like mopped the floor that one time! I help! I put a new toilet paper roll on the holder. And ummm… I, like, put the clothes away that I borrow from Joanna!' Romain chastises her for not even grocery shopping – which makes sense considering she doesn't have a job so how exactly would she buy food? Anyway, Marta, who's a serious actress, announces she's moving in with Fembot Fakenstein. Romain is like don't let the door hit you – and take out the trash on your way out!
Things got crazy last night, yes they did. Somebody likes her drinky a little too much – and doesn't like her fiancé enough. So – before all that blown out of proportion melt-down that I thought was going to be like uber crazy, but wasn't really, happened – everyone talked about how much the like their maids, how much they don't like each other, and about how Lea Black's friend is blaming Marysol Patton for ruining her life.
Things begin with Joanna and fiancé Romain 'just waking up' and Joanna is sporting a full face of make-up, plus false eyelashes and some revealing lingerie. Yeah, I totally look like that when I wake up too. Sadly, Romain is more interested in his blackberry than sexytimes in front of the cameras. What no sex tape aspirations?
Feeling defeated, Joanna heads into the bathroom to yell at her sister Marta who reveals she's moving in with Fembot Fakenstein for a while because Romain hates her and she hates him too. I just can't get that worked up about anything before coffee, but clearly I don't have the Krupa temper – or penchant for over-reacting!
I don't know about y'all but I am totally loving Real Housewives of Miami thus far. I don't know why; it's got a fun vibe, a rich vibe, and a kooky one. So that means next season someone will be a suicidal drug addict who escapes from Promises welding a stiletto as a weapon and is on a homicidal rampage after plastic surgery made her a cyclops and her AMEX Black Card was cut up at the Saks White Sale because her husband declared bankruptcy after it came out that he was selling aftermarket implants. Anyone that gets the Troop Beverly Hills nod in this sentence wins my eternal love.
Anyway, enough about my super secret gift as a medium (watch it Alison DuBois – I'm comin' for you electronic cig blazing!), let's talk shop and get to the recap.
Things begin with gossip before breakfast – or maybe it was lunch – I couldn't tell. Alexia Echevarria comes over to Ana Quincoces' house to discuss the delusions of Karent Sierra. See Karent isn't just clueless about how to spell "Karen," she's also clueless about boyfriend Rodolpho's definition of the word "boyfriend."
Alexia does not like Karent right off the bat, she thinks she is icy and aloof. I agree. Something about her just doesn't translate well. Ana just seems to think it's odd that Karent is completely in the dark about Rodolpho's texting habits.
In a sit-down with Hollywood Life, Alexia Echevarria confesses that Karent just irked her from the very first moment. Yikes! “I think the one that is [crawling under my skin] is Karent,” Alexia shares.
“You’ve haven’t had the pleasure to meet her but I’m sure she’ll do the same thing to you. In episode one, you don’t really see it, but I knew her from before. She gave me a very cold greeting so I took it very personally. This was my first time out in six months and I saw her with her smile … and it did bother me because she did know me,” Alexia adds.
Other ladies have dished that Karent causes a lot of drama this season – and apparently she's also invading the non-reality world with her chaos. Remember how Lindsay Lohan ran someone over in NYC on Wednesday night? If you watched Anderson Live while were live-blogging the show yesterday, you got to hear an indepth discussion about from TMZ's Harvey Levin.