It's that time of the year again – Dancing With The Stars is in the air! I feel like they need their own carol. It's beginning to look a lot like daaaanc-ing.
Anyway, enough about that! The cast for the 17th season has just been announced and we're not particularly interested because there's no Housewives strapping on their dancing shoes. I bet Teresa Giudice could have had a chance if not for that little federal indictment. Amirite? No?
Anyway the cast lineup and professional partner pairings are below.
This week on Dancing with the Stars, the 10 remaining contestants dedicate their song selection and dance to the best year of their life. Cue the water works, cute kids, and temporary fiance, please! Also, the contestants perform a 15-second solo during their routine.
As always, at the top of the show, the stars and pros descend the Dancing with the Stars staircase, which gives us our first glimpse at costumes, dance order, and Mark's weekly make out session with the camera. Oh no! Pro dancer Gleb Savchenko comes down the stars alone. Where is our belovedLisa Vanderpump?
Lisa was diagnosed with a "viral infection with fever and swollen glands" after fainting last week. "She sat out rehearsal. She's getting some rest right now," host Tom Bergeron explains. "We'll leave it up to her whether she's going to dance tonight."
First, Jacoby Jones and Zendaya Coleman are named king and queen of the Dancing with the Stars prom. With over two million Twitter followers, Zendaya's queen status was a given, but I thought for sure #bachelornation would rally behind Sean Lowe. Lo and behold, it appears as if there's a new shirtless bachelor in town! Woot!
By the way, Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy and Jacoby and Karina Smirnoff are also SAFE!
It's Prom Night on Dancing with the Stars, which means big hair, cheesy back stories, and Sean Lowe dressed as Huckleberry Finn. Oh boy. This is going to be a very long two hours. Host Tom Bergeron says, "This is no April Fool's joke – it's really prom night," and waste of space Brooke Burke-Charvet adds, "And yes, I really wore my hair like this." Nobody cares, Brooke.
To go along with the theme, a prom king and prom queen will be crowned on tonight's results show. The winning male star and female star, which will be decided by Twitter, will each receive two bonus points to add to their original scores. I fully expect Zendaya and Sean to take those honors. We shall see.
Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas
Viennese Waltz: The combination of counting music and pretending to be hot for Mark Ballas proves to be too much for Aly to handle this week. She thinks all of the pressure is going to make her head explode. Well, at least she'd be somewhat interesting, then. While Aly and Mark's dance seems to be technically okay, Aly's movements always come across as cold and forced to me.
The stars and pros have several weeks to get that first dance together. Then, the stars have only five days to learn dance number two, and it usually shows. For some, however, just getting that first dance out of the way is all it takes to ditch the nerves and get their dance on. This week's scores and votes will be combined with the votes and scores from last week's season 16 premiere, and then we'll say goodbye to one star on tonight's results show.
Jive: Sean and Peta's lifeguard and beach babe inspired jive is corny and under whelming. I find that I'm way more fascinated by Peta's high-rise bathing suit than I am by Sean's anything footwork. A color-coordinated Catherine is in the audience again. Sean's Bachelor fan base will keep him going for a few weeks, but he has absolutely no shot at taking home the trophy.