Good lord last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was a rare and special breed of ridiculous, wasn't it? So the Gorgadice families went on some silly retreat to put their problems behind them and rebuild. Except it was more passive aggressive blaming and whining from everyone! Yay for something new and exciting.
Things begin over at Casa de Gorga, amid the crumbling faux marble and the collapsing gold-plate archways they are preparing for the big retreat. Melissa Gorga and Poison are doing their vacation dance ritual and getting into the groove by busting some J. Faux moves and encouraging their kids to dance. "Stripper in the house," Poison bellows as his three-year-old twerks, while daddy erratically humps and grinds the air. Yeah! Shake your moneymaker kids. Great parenting…
Antonia helps mommy pack and decides among the must haves are a bible and a stuffed unicorn. Makes sense, unicorns because it would be an absolutely fairy tale to imagine these families getting along. And a bible because you never know who may need an exorcism on a RHONJ trip. All signs point to Teresa!
Our favorite reality TV stars can't get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Melissa Gorga was out on the town last night with her little Poisonito, Joe for a movie premiere for The Grown Ups 2. Those lucky ducks! The Real Housewives of New Jersey star took the time to address the cheating allegations lobbed at her on Sunday's episode.
Melissa dismisses the rumors as "disgusting" and levels equal disgust at Teresa Giudice for not defending her when the topic came up. After all if Teresa was really sincere about retreating to a castle to make her family a fairy tale she should have at least told Jan to shut it when she accused Melissa of stepping out on The Joew 2.0.
"I've never cheated on Joe," Melissainforms Us Weekly. "This is all disappointing." Melissa's ex-friend (and former bridesmaid) Jan claimed that Melissa was caught giving her ex-boyfriend Bryan "bl*wj*bs, among other things.
Real Housewives of New Jersey'sTeresa Giudice is a lot of things…she's a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister (well, some days), a best selling cookbook author, a fashionista, and cocktail maven. But I bet you didn't know she's a comedienne as well!
In her Bravo blog posted today, Teresa discusses how difficult it is to have her entire family turn against her, but in doing so, she makes a hilarious play on Fifty Shades of Grey all while doing what she does best (and I'm not being sarcastic here, for once)–self promotion! The woman can hock her wares like no other, and I wish I had her gumption (although that's about all I'd wish to have from Tre).
Teresa Giudice's friend and co-authorHeather Maclean has become the "invisible Housewife" on Real Housewives of New Jersey. And since Twitter really is the 6th castmember on this show, Heather has taken to tweeting the show and revealing some of the producer machinations that happen behind the scenes. Yummy! I guess after the Posche Fashion Show debacle everyone has learned their lesson to cover their bases!
Last night Heather commented on Teresa allegedly sitting by while Jan trashed Melissa Gorga and accused her of cheating on Poison with her ex-boyfriend. Well, Heather says that what viewers saw was edited to make Teresa look guilty and involved in the setup, when in actuality she left the table! Isn't that always Teresa's MO?
"After this episode, you will clearly see that I have obviously been established as 'the villain' of the season," Kim hints. "I’ll own it proudly! After all, things do just fall into my lap! [;)] " Anything for fame right, Kimmie BePosched?
Oh Real Housewives of New Jersey. I just don't know what to do with you. Like ever. Last night Melissa Gorga was officially accused of cheating by a former BFF who now doesn't like her. And since this is RHONJ some heavy betrayal was involved. Does anyone like Melissa in NJ? What did this girl do to make so many enemies? Did she give a lot of people unwanted sprinkle cookies?
Anyway, there was also talk of a retreat. I need a retreat from this show – am I invited?
Things begin with Wallpaper Wakile having a meeting of the minds in her brand new test kitchen. She's got her mixer all set up in one corner and the entire vast remainder of the industrial kitchen sits unused and empty. Pretty soon Kathy is going to start moving her bed, her dresser, all her clothes, etc in because if there's one things she's realized about ol' test kitchen – it's a great retreat from Richie. And one long overdue.
And speaking of retreats from hubbies, here comes Caroline Manzo. Is Al in the same country as her anymore? Caroline, Jacqueline Laurita, and Rosie the Rampager are meeting to talk about Rosie's big meet-n-drink with Teresa Giudice. Rosie reveals that the pounding on the table severely bruised the cartilage in her hand. Rosie needs serious help. Gross.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey cast has come a long way since their arrival on the reality TV scene back in 2009. You know, back when they were still dressing like NJ housewives and not pageant contestants. For some, the style transformation has been a positive thing and for others..not so much.