Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey it was another round of tit-for-tat over the most mundane crap imaginable. I mean, maybe it's not mundane if it's your family, but after 2.5 seasons of the storyline that never ends, I think we're all a bit tired of the Gorgadice family feud. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results, I think we can all officially declare the Gorgadices "insane". Right, Dr. Jacqueline Laurita, wino-behavioral specialist!
Things begin – oh who really cares where they begin because this show is like a loop everything ends and begins in the same exact spot so that you never know which episode is which and what exactly happened. Let's start with Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga rehashing birthday party-gate to their respective spouses while their kids all listen nearby.
Melissa is flipping some pancakes and Poison is deciding if they'll liquefy in his intestines so we all have to hear about his explosive diarrhea again, then she tells him something else vomit-inducing; that Teresa and Kim D (Teresa's soldier in the hideous hair extension army) like attacked her at Gia's party. And it was like sooooo terrible, and now she has to go into witness protection, and she did so visit her FIL in the hospital for like hours and hours and hours except she was in the lobby on twitter and reading magazines so he didn't actually see her. Meanwhile Antonia's just hanging out in the background.
Our favorite reality TV stars can't get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
I know what y'all were all doing yesterday at 1 pm. Like me, you were impatiently waiting for Melissa Gorga's new single Never Let Me Go to drop. A mere twenty-four hours later, there is no doubt you have it on repeat. Melissa shared the exciting news on her official Facebook page, writing, "@boogiestation @melissagorga NEVER LET ME GO new single debuts 6/19 at 1pm!"
Are you going to be in the Big Apple this Friday night? Got big plans? No? Well, now you do…and I'll bet you'll get to hear even more of Real Housewives of New Jersey's resident pop star (although sadly, not this new track). She's hosting a party at Splash Bar, and we're all invited!
You know, I'll say one thing about the raging feud between Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga…at least the ladies aren't petty. When they argue, their beef has actual substance which makes it a little easier to relate to and understand. I mean, if they were bickering about hospital visitation timelines give or take thirty-two hours or gym turf as if they were the Sharks and Jets, I doubt I'd be able to keep watching Real Housewives of New Jersey. I'm sure y'all feel the same!
After Teresaexplained herself in her Bravo blog, Melissa gets a turn. We're all for an equal opportunity snarkfest here at RT! In her blog, Melissa explains that she can't remember her days of the week while adding that her husband's parents weren't upset about how long it took for her to visit her ICU ridden father-in-law.
I believe Melissa when she says they were happy for a visit and not concerned about when it actually happened. However, do I think she should have made her best efforts to get there sooner? Yes. I also think that Teresa beating the visitation timeline to death is as eye-roll worthy as a frazzled Melissa lying about when she actually went. But hey, at least it's entertaining! Right? It is, right…?
This week's episode focused on whether or not Melissa made an effort to visit her FIL while he was in the ICU. And who has ownership of a strip mall gym and its smoothie bar. Yay for Jersey gym-gate! #sarcasm
Of course what we saw on the surface was very different from what actually occurred behind the scenes (as is always the case with RHONJ!). Reality Tea's source shares some EXCLUSIVE information about what was really happening during filming – and why Melissa seemed to have trouble identifying when she visited her FIL!
I am not going to say anything negative about her children (or anyone's for that matter), as I think the girls are equally adorable and hilarious. G-to-the-I-A may be the most mature person on the entire show. It's been fun to watch her grow up into such a sweet young lady. That said, Wendy Williams has no qualms about talking smack about Teresa's kids. Yikes!
Teresa also addresses her fans on all things family and loyalty and respect and lather, rinse, repeat. Let's get some new material please!
Alright kiddos, so Real Housewives of New Jersey happened so let's all take a break from bashing our heads against the wall to read this recap. I personally would rather go through another drug-free labor than spend one more minute on the Teresa Giudice vs. Melissa Gorga mess, but hey – duty calls. Oh – and in case you haven't heard I had a baby this week! Word to the wise: try to get to the hospital in a timely manner, right Melissa?!!
Last night Teresa and Melissa put forth another round of she-said/she-said; bobbing and weaving around the ring like two drag queens in a RuPaul's Drag Race boxing challenge. Except the fashionably challenged version! It was sparkly leopard print verbal uppercut blocked by spray-tanned orange fauxmarble encrusted sucker punch. And a low-brow duck followed by a high-brow weave and spin. Before we knew it, fur was flying and Caroline Manzo's front yard petting zoo had died in vain over more of Teresa and Melissa's nonsense.
Since we're talking boxing – things begin in a gym. Apparently all of Franklin Lakes and its surrounding lower echelon suburbs go to the same gym and NONE of them knew it! Just imagine… no awkward collisions at the lowfat banana smoothie bar ever occurred! Who would believe it?!
Right off the bat Melissa wants to clear up that she did let her kids stay to have cake at Gia's party even though the editing looked as if she didn't stick around. I can say that seeing all of the photos from the event, Melissa was definitely there with her kids for a long time. She was in the photos through many stages of the evening, so they really whittled down the birthday party footage/drama.
Melissa shared, "I did let my kids have cake and then we got out of there." When Andy commented how nice it was to see Kim D. back on the scene, Melissa replies, "Yes, isn't that wonderful?" in a heavily sarcastic tone. She then explains that things are good with her and Kim.