I can't. I just can't. The Real Housewives of Orange County may be the original housewives (although most aren't, in fact, wives), but sometimes they are also the most ridiculous. Let's take Gretchen Rossi, for example. She's not a wife–and with Slade Smiley as her beau she may never be one–but, like her counterparts, she loves to talk about whatever it takes to keep her in the spotlight.
For example, last week, Gretchen was yapping about how former best friend/current nemesis Alexis Bellinocopied her hairstyle…because that's news. This week, Gretchen is sharing with us her workout routine while applauding herself for overcoming bulimia. Wait…didn't Alexis say she struggled with bulimia growing up when the ladies took a quick trip to Texas during season six? Who is the copycat now, Gretch?
Last Sunday's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey continues to make waves for the cast. And it seems that while nobody likes Teresa Giudice, nobody can stop talking about her either. That must burn like vomit coming up.
First up, Caroline Manzo admits that after calling her former made-for-TV friend "ugly" and "psychotic" in a vitriolic episode that left me pining for the timid-by-comparison-scenes of The Exorcist, she hasn't spoke to Teresa in a year. Well, I'm sure the upcoming reunion will change all that!
“The only thing positive about it was I finally said what I needed to say and I’m done. And that was a year ago,” Caroline told Celebuzz about their altercation.
“And I have not seen or spoken to Teresa since the reunion last year with the exception of the Bravo commercial – I was in the same room with her. My last words to Teresa Giudice were at the reunion last year. And can I tell you, it’s been a wonderful year.”
Well, I see Caroline is still keeping it Giudice (i.e. bitter and grudge-holding).
Now, believe me when I tell you, I think all of these ladies are a big ol' piece of work. Unless Teresa's involved, it usually takes two people to create drama and tension (I'm looking at you Manzo sisters!), and it is, in my experience, much easier to always turn the other cheek. When I was in college, my mother gave me the best advice when I was stuck in the throes of a manipulative friendship. She said, even if people don't realize it now, and even if it takes several years and you no longer care, crazy always catches up to crazy. She couldn't have been more right.
I generally like to keep my problems away from water, but I guess that’s not the case with the Real Housewives of New Jerseywho took their fighting to a Rock of Love level when things got dramatic in and around the hot tub of horrors. Sadly Bret Michaels did not arrive to bust into a hair metal anthem. #why? Luckily there were sequins. As one of our twitter followers pointed out, you can cut a bitch with a sequined bikini. Where do they buy these things?
So there they all were in some insanely hideous bikinis, hair and make-up done up to the nines, guzzling wine by the gallon, and shrieking at each other like mongooses so that it echoed through the vineyards of Napa and awoke a dreaming Vivendi Wine owner in his sleep. ‘Oh, no… ‘ he thought… ‘The meerkats have gotten into the grapes again.’ Nope, just some delusional women embarrassing themselves on national TV! Grapes are fine, viewers of RHONJ not so much! Pack your alibis and let’s go!
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to give us an hourly play-by-play of their lives. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Snooki is down to her “final days” of her pregnancy! She shared, “My family ❤”.
After this past episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, I am sure Napa was beyond ready to bid farewell to the crazy crew. From name calling to doing the dirty grape style, it was all just to much for me. Also, I never needed to see Joe Gorga in nasty, tight boxer briefs. Have these people no shame?
We all know the main drama occurred when Juicy Joe Giudice had some choice names for his wife Teresa while on the phone with “a business contact.” Not surprisingly, Teresa takes to her blog (and the cover of In Touch–go figure!) to share her pain.
Ahhhh… New Jersey, where class goes to die. Oh, I joke! What I should say isReal Housewives of New Jersey- where class goes to die. So Chris Laurita tried to be all sophisticated-like and invite these imbeciles to a vineyard he is hoping to sign a business deal with. So, just read that sentence back to yourself again and then pause – no logic, right? Well, I guess he needed Bravo to expense his business trip.
This episode had a lot going on from friendship and family drama to marital discord, but the important thing, the crazy thing, the most ridiculous thing was Joe Giudice andAlbert Manzo‘s highly intense discussion about KFC. Was there or was there not a KFC on some street, in some random Jersey suburb?! There they are on a bus bitching about biscuits. This warrants a very terse and snippy discussion peppered with F-bombs and lots of ‘I ate extra crispy every day dammit, I know where the bleeping KFC is dumb a$$.’ “You’re a loser!” Albert yells. Yeah… grown men over there!
Tonight is an all-new episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. We’ve been hearing for weeks about Joe Giudice‘s explosive phone call when he is captured on film referring toTeresa Giudice as his “bitch wife” among other things. Well, tonight it finally makes it on air!
Teresa recently appeared on the cover of In Touch Weekly, where she vowed to leave Joe if he was caught cheating and claimed Le Juicy one is “sorry” for his actions. Anyone see any pigs flying lately? Oh yeah… me either!
Well Reality Tea’s source tell us EXCLUSIVELY that Joe’s is anything but sowry and is tired of being second fiddle to Teresa’s RHONJ success. Those Giudices really make a lot of insincere apologies, don’t they?
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