I'm just gonna say it – I'm over this crap. Yep, I just called Real Housewives of New Jersey "crap" so nana-nana-boo-boo. Look I'm as mature as the castmembers now!
So last night was part one of the so-called "epic" season finale. It was pretty much rehashing of last season's season finale except there will be actual fist fighting. So they took last season and made it more trashy! Lovely, Bravo. Really just lovely.
Before all that, we were rendered temporarily deaf by Melissa Gorga attempting to sing. While I was holding my head and cringing, Bravo threw Penny Karagiorgis, her Wal-mart extensions ripped off from a Barbie Halloween costume, and Teresa Giudice shrieking at each other in my face.
It's a miracle I did not spontaneously combust right here on my non-made-of-marble sofa while drinking my non-fabellini alcoholic beverage. Maybe next week…
Melissa Gorga brought along an adorable sidekick while promoting her new book this weekend: daughter Antonia.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star was at Bookends book store in Ridgewood to sign copies of "Love, Italian Style" and pose for photos. Melissa and Antonia hammed it up together for the cameras, both inside the store and outside.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Jenni Pulos shared, "Just died and went to heaven and Hello Kitty is flying me there!"
I'm sorry. I'm not buying it. No couple is that gooey all the time (thank goodness!). Of course, along with Melissa's "happy wife, happy life" mantra, both she and Joe claim to be the most in love couple and devoted parents. I'm not saying they aren't, but do they feel as if they have to constantly shove it down our throats? Yes, I guess they do.
Last night Melissa attended a book signing at Mendham Books in New Jersey and this morning she stopped by for a chat with Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford on 'Today'.
I perused Amazon to see the initial reactions to Melissa's book and so far it hasn't been positive. In Melissa's defense, many of the 1-star reviews left for her were by people who admittedly didn't read the book or only read the free excerpt from chapter 1, and some flat out said they just didn't like her on the show.
But on the other side of that coin, of the few 5-star reviews written, those users didn't have any history of leaving product reviews except for this glowing summary of how Melissa's book changed their life. So, that's a little suspect. But again, the same is true for some of those negative reviewers. The whole thing reads a little like a blog comment section – filled with both Melissa lovers and Melissa haters and the reviews are nearly all 1's and 5's, with no in-between.
Melissa tries to convince us that bumping into Penny at dinner was a total shock, "The talk with Penny. Joe and I thought we were going out to a nice dinner. I had no idea she’d be there. We were just as surprised as you were to see her sitting at the bar." Biting.My.Tongue.
Teresa starts out explaining that Joe Gorga and Melissa need to learn the right approach to dealing with rumors when you're on TV. "Unfortunately when you're on TV, people want what you have. They want to be on TV too and they'll do anything to make it happen or they just want to take you down because they're sick of watching you. I get it. I've seen it happen now on every season of every Housewives show in every city. It's not fun to be the target, but it comes with the territory. The problem is when newer cast members join and get attacked, they can freak out like Melissa and Joey were. You have to stay united and refuse to let any strangers break you down. But I get that it's hard. It shouldn't be hard for family to believe family over strangers, but…"
So last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey the producers teased us with progress, yet again, but then we all ended up right back where we started with some sort of family drama nonsense.
Gaaawd. Gawwwwwd. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. It's all sooooo boring. We don't care. And you know what, it doesn't even seem believable anymore. Ugh. That's like all I have to muster. Recap over. Bye! Just kidding, but I'm gonna go ahead and say the highlight of last night's show was Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis' 10 foot long ponytail extension from the My Little Pony Weave Collection! Seriously that synthetic tail she was sporting was the color of Kraft Mac & Cheese and looked like straight up plastic Easter grass. As RuPaul would say: 'Grrrrrrrrllllll…'
My other favorite part of the episode: Melissa Gorga's "singing". Her music career is about as believable as Penny's hair. Alright let's dive in!
So Teresa Giudice is pimping out Skinny Italian foods. She's got some sort of "store" where she has all the packages displayed. Is it edible? Apparently she's saving pasta from being boring by dumping a bunch of love in some pre-packaged rigatoni. Whatever. The real point of this meeting is so she can discuss the Melissa drama with her mom and mother-in-law. I'm not gonna snark – the mommies are adorable. They encourage Teresa to invite Joe and Melissa for a family lunch. Alls good now… for less time than it takes to boil a pot of spaghetti!