Before we dive into that heavy stuff, we have to see Reza talk Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi through putting a suppository up her butt to curb motion sickness. Because 1) the Shahs of Susnet are going yachting. 2) Sea-Bands or Ginger Root wouldn't make for good TV.
Reza offers to help, because they're totally BFFs again, "Loch-nesa and I are so close now that actually putting something in her butt doesn't seem as alarming to me as it should." Oh Reza, you slay me. Only, not. Go away. GG carries on, screaming about her backdoor being exit only, but she figures it out.
Phewww! Close one, Bravo. You almost went all classy on us!
So, while packing for Turkey, Asa called everyone to check in. Reza makes a crack about white people and flashes a wad of cash. GG and MJ each obsess about the other. Asa says everyone needs a good dose of "persianity" after a rough summer. She adds she cannot wait to look like everyone else in Turkey. Just better looking. So not joking – she said it.
To start the episode, GG meets up with her sister, mortal enemy, and business partner, Leila, to talk about GG's Extensions. They're not meeting with clients, per se, but they are on Bravo. Yet Leila looks like a drowned rat and GG looks like she just came from the gym. Neither are looks I'd strive for when promoting a hair product. Anyway, Leila brings up GG's fight with MJ at Del Mar, because it's been on her mind and totally concerns her. GG points out, if Leila would stop involving herself, she wouldn't be so put out. Leila believes MJ is innocent and GG is out of control. She talked to MJ, so, of course!
GG informs Leila that MJ phoned their mother, calling GG a slut whore bitch and vowing to never be in the same room with her for the rest of her life, on the way home from Del Mar. Leila admits this is news to her, but she adds, "Since forever your story and everybody else's story rarely is the same story."
First, Mike wakes up the morning after the Diamond Water party, and Jessica tells him it was a disaster. Mike admits he doesn't remember much of what happened at the party, but he says his friendship with Reza is important to him.
Asa invites MJ and GG to her house for lunch. Good news, MJ wears a real shirt over her corset. Bad news, it isn't long before she's falling out of it. Worse news, MJ's as annoying as ever. Season three MJ is such a disappointment to me. MJ brings Asa an orchid and she wears sunglasses. GG brings Asa an orchid and she wears sunglasses. So MJ complains about GG copying her. How could GG have known about MJ's orchid? And isn't it always sunny in CA? Anyway, lunch is awkward, but GG and MJ come to a truce. MJ admits using Leila to get to GG was crappy. GG thinks MJ's apology is lacking but accepts it.
Reza took to his Bravo blog to discuss the latest, a drunken (Mike) and childish (Reza) confrontation at Asa Soltan Rahmati's Diamond Water party. The short story is, nothing is Reza's fault, because he is the most loyal, perfect friend to ever roam the Earth. The long story is, Reza began by dissing the Ballers. "That was a joke," he blogged. "That didn't look like any real estate office I had ever seen. Where were the files, the papers, or anything else you'd find in a normal office? Why is Mike looking for a get rich quick scheme? I'm not an expert, but that type of business doesn't look appealing to a 'real' real estate agent. Did it look like Baller 1 had a lot of mousse in his hair, circa 1990?"
Reza's opinion of that office is spot on – if any business is being done there, I highly doubt it's the legal real estate kind. Did I just agree with Reza? I feel icky and in need of a shower.