Last night's episode of Shahs of Sunset was fairly uneventful. For me, it felt like a filler episode to set up the showdown betweenReza Farahan and Mike Shouhed on the next episode. Oh but Mercedes "MJ" Javid did do some of that pesky thing us regular folks call a job! I guess that's worth noting.
To kick things off, Reza and Adam Neely are off to the mall. Reza pokes fun at Sears and Nieman Marcus in the same mall – this coming from the man who has Louis Vuitton shoes and IKEA furnishings in the same apartment. As they walk through the mall, Reza and Adam talk about the menu for their upcoming housewarming party, and they just happen to come across a Beluga caviar vending machine – a small can of caviar costs $3500, cash only. First, gross. Second, no problem for Reza, who whips out a wad of $100s. Adam wants to know who carries around that kind of cash, Reza says immigrants! Reza gives Adam props for going with the flow, adding, "With a little more training, he could be the quintessential perfect Persian wife."
Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi and Asa Soltan Rahmati take a Tai Chi class in the park. Asa thinks it'll be good for GG, who lacks impulse control. At the same time, GG tells us, "MJ makes me want to cut her t*ts off and bitch slap her with them." Tai Chi just makes GG horny. Better luck next time, Asa.
GG took to her Bravo blog to list all the reasons she's upset with MJ.
First, according to GG, MJ needs to "back the f–k off" her sister, Leila. "When Leila tells me that she and MJ are talking and hanging out all of the time, it makes my blood boil," said GG. "What the f–k is MJ trying to prove by hanging out with my sister? If she and I are not getting along, then she needs to stay far away from anything related to me."
As if two episodes of Shahs of Sunset in 48 hours isn't bad enough, this one kicks off withMercedes "MJ" Javid showing off her boobs. Thank goodness Bravo isn't broadcast in 3D. MJ says she's spent thousands of dollars trying to simultaneously keep her boobs under control, cinch her waist, and eliminate back fat – to no avail – so she has decided to design her own bra and shaping garment. MJ "shapes" the air right out her lungs, explaining, "I have the tiniest waist, it's just not being cinched properly." #delusional
Meanwhile, Jessica is converting to Judaism for Mike Shouhed, although he has yet to propose. Mike and Jessica go through the motions of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony during class, and Mike starts to sweat. Mike reminds us that he used to be the MVP of Vegas (Most Valuable Persian) and I think about the smug Shahs of Sunset tagline, "We don't work in buildings. We own buildings." Now? Mike rents bus wraps, so he needs to get over himself and put a ring on Jessica's finger before someone else does.
Bravo treated us to an extra episode of Shahs of Sunset this week to boost viewership – IMO – and it worked! A whopping 1.977 million viewers tuned in to Shahs of Sunset on Sunday night, when only 978,000 bothered to watch the regularly scheduled episode just two weeks ago. I hope the Shahs of Sunset plan to send thank you notes to the Real Housewives of Atlanta. 😉
As I expected, Reza lashes out at Mike, "How audacious are you to call me to uninvite me to a disgusting float that's an embarrassment to the gay community. I am disgusted." Reza hangs up on Mike, returns to asking Mirror, Mirror who is the finest gay Persian in all of L.A.
Reza later tells Adam that he's furious with Mike – how dare he be excluded from an event?!? But Reza had no issues cheering on his co-stars as they uninvited Mercedes "MJ" Javid and Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi from trips and parties last season. Reza tells Adam he needs time to decompress, which is code for, perfect a sob story that'll help justify his repugnant behavior.
"The intensity on Shahs is getting huge," tweeted GG. "So this week we'll be giving y'all an episode on Sunday and another on Tuesday! This is a one time thing so get ready for an amazing ride of drama!"
I believe Reza had issues with Sasha, but I definitely do not believe this was their first ever encounter. I think Reza is a very mean-spirited and disrespectful person, and the producers used it to their advantage this week.
First up, Mike Shouhed visits a dermatology and hair restoration clinic to find out if his hair needs professional help, as his asshat of a friend Reza has suggested. Then Mike bring Reza for moral support – Mike doesn't need hair help, he needs brain help. Reza never stops making fun of Mike. Mike puffs out his chest and says he's going to shave Reza's head and mustache ("that Burt Reynolds looking mother f–ker") while he's sleeping. Yeah, sure.
So, a doctor examines Mike's full head of thick black hair, then determines he's not balding. What. A. Nail. Biter. But the scene wasn't all for naught – we learn Mike suffers from ear dandruff. As well as poor taste in best friends.
Last week, Lilly confronted Asa, wanting to know why she didn’t speak up in her favor when Mercedes “MJ” Javid claimed nobody on Shahs of Sunset is her friend. Asa took to her Bravo blog to share, “MJ actually said, ‘These people were my friends FIRST,’ which is the truth and doesn’t need defending.”
“Second Lilly and MJ were exchanging catty remarks, and I don’t see how this is anybody’s business but theirs,” added Asa. “How are you going to have a fight with someone and then blame the other people? I really wish Lilly would get more real about things.” That’s rich coming from the Persian Pop Priestess (which means what exactly?) who manufacturers Diamond Water (which does what better than regular water exactly?).