A quick recap within the recap of their relationship: Mike and Jessica meet – she was young, beautiful, and impressionable and he was…available? Not sure what exactly she saw in him, even back then. They date, she converts to Judaism for him and spends years pushing for an engagement with laser focus. Arguments ensue, cheating rumors endure, and they get married anyway so Mike could floss in a $10K Tom Ford tuxedo (does Tom Ford offer partial refunds?). Now, they are six months into the union and it has less of a chance of survival than Mike’s shoe empire. We all know how it eventually turns out but this is the beginning of the end, playing out for all viewers to see.
Mike Shouhed is busy taking what I can only assume are purchase orders for shoes on his cell while the women folk cook a pretty sad looking spread of shrimp and veggies on the grill. Awkward small talk is being made and you can tell GG is already drunk by the time she cross eyes up Mike to tell her why she is so angry at him. She doesn’t like how he talks to her and Mike sets his phone down long enough to apologize profusely and say he will let it all go. GG slurs some type of response to indicate she can move on. Asa Soltan Rahmati wastes no time turning this into a spiritual event. Asa says she wants to throw their issues into the fire while Mike and GG hug it out.
This week, the Shahs of Sunset continue to contemplate how to break through to their old friend Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi, who is struggling with issues of anger and excessive drinking. A group trip is in order and they waste no time getting the show on the road, so to speak.
GG is in her apartment, cleaning her knives and feeling sorry for herself because of her “declining health” with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I guess Asa Soltan Rahmati got the invite for this pity party and stops by to give GG her “magical” green sauce. Does everything in Asa’s life have magical powers? Note that GG has no problem shoveling carrots and green sauce into her mouth with her RA-riddled hand. GG begins to tell Asa about her fight with Mercedes “MJ” Javid and decides they all need to remember why they fell in love with each other in the first place. GG suggests the best way to do that is to go camping with the group so no one can hear their screams. They call Reza Farahan to explain the plan and he feigns excitement but agrees. GG gives Asa a hearty high-five (with her bad hand).
MJ is not in the forgiving mood when it comes to Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi, who is almost in the NFL (No Friends Left) zone if it weren’t for Shervin Roohparvar. MJ has more important things to worry about, like the virility of beau Tommy Feight’s sperm. Asa Soltan Rahmati, never one to miss out on an opportunity to spend pointless amounts of money and energy on priestess-y things, prepares for the secret wedding of Reza and Adam, who still has no idea he is going to be getting surprise married soon.
Coachella. It is where rich kids go and pretend they are hippies… err, um, rich kids… and a few reality stars who want to party like it’s 1969. It’s all very odd to me. I think Bethenny Frankel summed it up perfectly:
“So someone invited me to #douchella & I got overwhelmed,” she tweeted. “Isn’t it for 22 yr old models with suede purses & flower crowns?”
Last week, we watched what theShahs of Sunset do what they do best – throw expensive parties and drink too much. This week, we are starting to see how each cast member’s story line will shape up over the course of the season.
Another season, another reason to floss for the Shahs of Sunset, and let’s hope they bring the gold!
We open with a look back on Reza Farahan standing up Adam Neely at the altar in Thailand. That would be enough to ruin any normal relationship but who’s that creeping in the background while Reza sleeps? It’s Adam! These two lovebirds stayed together and made it work. They even added an adorable little rescue pup, Tini, to the family. I am really happy these two worked it out and Reza realized that the grass isn’t always greener. On Reza’s short list of goals: get married, build a house, have fun with friends and family…oh and have sex and buy gold. Naturally.
Newlyweds Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido are busy drinking free Fiji water from her Dad and working out to keep in tip top shape before their marriage crashes and burns. Because the couples that sweats together stays together. No irony or anything here. Mike starts to wax poetic about how amazing – and how hard – it is to be married for four months; apparently, he has to ask permission to do everything. I’m assuming Mike has managed to find some time to himself given that they are already getting divorced because of his cheating. I doubt Jessica gave permission on that one. I can’t wait to see how that plays out this season.