If you're like me, you're wondering what great deed you must have done this weekend to be treated to two full hours of Kody Brown's hair. Oh, and Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn were there too…
The Sister Wives reunion begins with Tamara Hall addressing Kodilocks (thanks reader Hegeira for that hilarious moniker!) and the Brown wives. The family relives the drama of getting financing for the cul-de-sac compound and Meri's tears. Christine and Janelle are sporting some pretty heavy make-up, and Meri explains that there is more potential for jealousy now that the women are in such close proximity. When Tamara tries to dig deeper, Meri begins back-tracking and Christine admits sometimes she is visited by the green monster. Tamara needs to take over the Housewives reunions!
To lighten the mood, the group jokes about a time when Kody was told by Robyn that he needed to put on his big boy panties and get used to his wives empowering themselves with My Sister Wives Closet. He blushes over the jokes as Robyn apologizes. Tamara then shares Danny the builder's insights on Kody and all of his ladies. Everyone agrees that Danny is spot-on with his assessments.
Well, well, well. Are we starting to see some deeper cracks in Kody Brown's "happy" marriages? TLC needed to save the biggest issues for the final episode of the season of Sister Wives. Robyn's budget jewelry line, Meri's coveted wet bar, Janelle's scale hatred, and Christine's crafting have been leading up to some finale night dramz!
Last night, we began with Kody sharing that he and his wives went to counseling when living in Utah, and they are meeting with a new therapist to discuss their issues. This woman was recommended by their previous therapist who specialized in plural families. After taking personality tests (Meri is not on board), we learn that this process is just furthering their mission statement goal. That's really going to be their thing, isn't it? Kody is initially wary of this educated woman. She's probably a feminist, and feminists aren't fans of polygamy. Who knew?
Kody and Meri are sitting down with Mariah to discuss her expensive tuition. Mariah's scholarship doesn't cover very much, and the school costs much more than Logan's UNLV education. Mariah offers to get another job, but Kody reminds her that her she has sixteen other siblings that they need to consider. Kody isn't willing to co-sign any loans because, you know, he wants to retire. Tell me again how you retire from not having a job? Mariah is devastated, and Meri tells Kody that they've been working on other scholarship options that he isn't aware of since he's been so M.I.A. lately. Wait, I thought this cul-de-sac compound was supposed to bring everyone closer….literally?
It was an intense time with Kody Brown and the family on last night's episode of Sister Wives, as they have chosen to participate in a panel discussion on polygamy at UNLV. Kody is concerned that it could turn into a debate. Not surprisingly, Robyn is unnecessarily fired up, Meri couldn't care less, and Janelle is the only one who comes across as sounding very intelligent. Christine doesn't want any part of the negativity, and daughter Aspyn wants to attend to support her mother.
We learn that Christine's Aunt Kristyn is on the opposing side of the panel, as is Kollene, the teenager that Kody's older children met when volunteering at a shelter for people trying to escape abusive polygamist situations. Christine's aunt is worried that the Browns are painting a rosy and unrealistically sunny picture of polygamy. Kristyn is one of eight children (her sister is Christine's mother), and her mother was the first of thirteen wives to her father. She married at seventeen and it wasn't long before her husband was finding new wives. Kristyn finally left him at age fifty. Something tells me Janelle is going to be very interested in hearing her story…
Kollene grew up in a cult-like polygamist family, and she is quick to admit that her experiences are far different from the Browns. While she's never said it, I have a feeling she suffered a lot of abuse. Kristyn shares that met Kody when he was first courting Christine and she was fully supportive of polygamy. Willie is also a panel member who was part of Warren Jeffs FLDS family. He is one of forty-two children and escaped the lifestyle with his mother and six sisters.
Everyone is finally moved into the cul-de-sac compound on Sister Wives, and the kids are ecstatic to be so close to their siblings. Kody thinks that Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn will have the biggest adjustment with boundaries.
Robyn has a grand plan to ceremoniously burn the duffel bag that Kody used to tote from house-to-house. Janelle never really minded what the bag represented, and Kody laughs. To Janelle, the bag is a symbol of her independence and served as a reminder that he'd be leaving soon. Sounds about right!
With Mother's Day on the horizon, Kody is meeting with this jewelry manufacturers to design individually pieces for each of his wives. He's hoping that none of the wives will get jealous. After seeing what Kody has designed, I doubt he'll have to worry. Robyn's piece is a phoenix rising from the ashes, Meri gets a loyal dog crown and heart, Christine's piece will be a mischievous fairy, while poor Janelle gets a tree. Will these be available on the web site?
On last night's Sister Wives, Kody Brown, along with wives Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn, address audience questions, and not surprisingly, hypocrisy abounds. Discussing the clothing worn by the daughters, Kody reveals that he wants his girls to dress conservatively. The boys don't need to see their goods. Mykelti thinks that the teenage years are the time to experiment with style, and Hunter certainly doesn't have a problem with girls at his school dressing in tight shirts.
Speaking of tight, the kids are then asked if they like how their father dresses. His jeans are far too tight, but Kody shares he's got the body for it, and his wives love seeing his buns in that snug denim. I just threw up in my mouth a bit…
Sometimes I just want to see Kody Brown's hair blowing in the breeze when I watch Sister Wives. I don't want to hear Meri whining or Christine jabbering on about the family's mission statement while Janelle quietly plans her mistake. I certainly don't want to be treated to a little ditty about Robyn's first sexual experience!
The cul-de-sac compound is in full swing, and all of the children are excited to be in such close proximity. Kody's hair is more feathered than normal, and he's looking forward to the first family church service in the new homes. While Kody leads his family in a lesson and has asked his wives to contribute. This week, Robyn will be dishing on chastity and sexual purity. Perhaps that will wake up the teens who are nodding off during Kody's service.
It's moving day for Christine, and it's sheer chaos. Janelle is also moving the remainder of her things out of her rental. Madison is excited to have the whole family back together so that she can escape to another family home on the cul-de-sac in the event that her brothers are annoying the crap out of her. She also thinks it will be great for her younger siblings to be able to play together more often.
Meri still has no news on her house, and she and Mariah are upset. Kody's hair and facial tan make him look like a crazed snow boarder, and I'm confused by his vest…in a good way, of course. The Brown clan has decided to put off celebrating Christmas for a week in hopes that Meri will be in her new digs by then.
What do you call Kody Brown making eighteen thousand walk-throughs of his new cul-de-sac compound? Why last night's episode of Sister Wives of course! Janelle, Christine, and Robyn are all set to move in, but poor Meri just can't seem to catch a break with the loan underwriters. Shucks!
It's another walk through, and the homes are finally landscaped. Christine gushes about her new kitchen, and Robyn teases that it sounds like Christine is describing the love of her life when waxing poetic about her appliances. Sounds about right. I'd prefer granite countertops to a flaxen haired polygamist wearing head-to-toe denim. Christine is stressing about packing, and apparently she thinks her children will be motivated by copious amounts of baby talk.