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Millionaire Matchmaker Recap


Last night, Millionaire Matchmaker went out with a bang. Dare I say, the first ever Millionaire Matchmaker reunion was actually entertaining especially compared to the lackluster season that many of you readers have agreed is not worth tuning into. But hey, last night’s second part of the reunion was definitely worth a watch especially when we got to see past clients let it rip on the beloved Patti Stanger.

Andy Cohen began asking Patti some boring viewer-submitted questions. The most interesting question was if Patti would date a redhead. With all the gay and Jewish bashing, I totally forgot about Patti’s distaste for the redhead community. Then, Andy reminds me that she also does not like curly hair either. What the heck, Patti! I take the curly hair one very personally. But Patti does what she does best explaining she did not mean it like that — yea, right. She says the millionaires do not like red, curly hair people. I think Bravo needs to set up an Equal Opportunity program for the crew at Millionaire Matchmaker.

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Reunited and it feels so….. Hot! Part one of the first ever (and probably last ever) Millionaire Matchmaker reunion aired last night, and not only did the beloved Andy Cohen put Patti in the hot seat, but he reunited some of Patti’s most memorable clients from the past five seasons. All the clients and Patti were looking hot, hot, hot! The heat continued as Andy dived into the whole WWHL fiasco.

In case you forgot, Patti Stanger said some unfortunate comments on her appearance earlier this year on Andy’s late-night show. She claimed gays cannot commit, and Jewish men lie. Well, doesn’t she realize her boss is both of those? In order to save her job, Patti backpedals claiming she could not sleep for days (or eat?) after she offended so many people. She does major damage control telling Andy it was her idea to even set up gays on TV — no credit to Andy Cohen? Andy, not quick to let off the heat, calls her out saying she makes generalizations a.k.a. stereotypes! Let’s not sugar coat it, but Patti continues on her self-reflection stating she wants to soften up her image. Good luck with that.

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It’s here! The last episode of Millionaire Matchmaker ever! Well, at least for this year. It is still undecided what the future of Millionaire Matchmaker will be, but if last night’s episode is the last match we will see by the Millionaire’s Club, I have definitely been left satisfied. Tables turn as Patti Stanger is the client this week — Does that mean she is a millionaire?

Destin (not Devin — my apologies) and Rachel plan a one-on-one meeting with their client Patti. Patti wants her friends to come along so they can be her spies to help pick her match. It is quite silly to watch Rachel and Destin ask Patti silly questions about what she looks for in a guy. I think we all know Patti just looks for a guy who will look at her.

Patti explains she doesn’t care about money because all she has is money — I was waiting for her to rip out her “I’m Rich, B*tch” shirt. I think Nene Leakes would be proud. She also wants a guy who is good in bed — is Destin supposed to hold try-outs?

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For all the Millionaire Matchmaker lovers or haters out there, last night we experienced the second to last episode of the season or the series? That is the question! We begin by seeing Patti Stanger in her element doing a comedy show! Patti continues to embarrass the public by calling out an awkward boy and girl on stage to do a pretend date. This date was as bad as every other date Patti conducts.

Chippendale dancers and football players, oh my! This is my episode. For the first time in Millionaire Matchmaker history, Patti is setting up a millionaire who I have actually heard of! Mr. ESPN Marcellus Wiley – I knew all my boyfriends had a reason for making me watch ESPN, it prepared me for tonight’s episode of MM. He is just as charming as usual and makes me ask the question — How does this guy have a problem finding a girl?

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Is it me or is this season of Millionaire Matchmaker really dragging on? No pun intended, but between Mr. Drag Queen himself and Mr. Drag Personality, Patti had her hands full last night with her two millionaires. Surely this was filmed months before Patti’s controversy statements about gay men.

Patti is full of famous friends this season and tonight she meets with gossip king Perez Hilton who must be getting desperate for gossip since he now spends his time interviewing Patti Stanger and hosting the Bad Girl’s Club Reunion. Yet, he would be a fabulous millionaire (who actually has money) that Patti should set up!

On to the millionaires — Rachel introduces her client Jason Bross who is a shy businessman that has a career in healthy food on the go. He is always accused of being gay, but he insists he isn’t (thou protesteth too much?). Patti explains he needs a personality and that he is boring — which makes me ponder does Patti ever have entertaining clients? And to prove me wrong, Patti gives us the first ever drag queen millionaire!

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On last night’s episode of Millionaire Matchmaker I was all ready for some crazy drama at the hands of hot, young, party-boy, commitment-phobe Sylar but instead things were very mature and genuine. Was I watching the right show? Thankfully I had Patti’s abrasive, cray-cray to remind me that I was definitely in the right place! Patti also set up a nerd who just can’t vacate the friend zone, thus getting him a little help from friend, Jenny McCarthy!

This week, Patti‘s clients are two twenty-somethings. One is nerdy internet start-up CEO Bill Clerico, who has the unfortunate disposition of being a redhead. Patti informs us “no one wants to date redheads.” Even Prince Harry? Bill is the founder of WEPAY and according to Patti, if Mark Zuckerberg can get a girl, Bill can — he’s way hotter. Hot even for a ginger. However, Bill isn’t just a ging — he’s also short, nerdy and a work-a-holic! Uh-oh! Patti wants to de-nerd him and make him see a girl as his priority instead of work.

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So, I was secretly hoping for Millionaire Matchmaker to have another week off, but unlucky me got to sit through another episode. I kept my fingers crossed that Patti Stanger would be in Florida for this episode, and Bravo would hire Kim Richards to take her spot. Now that would be a good show, Kim probably would not make it to the office, recruiting sessions, or mixer, but hey the viewers would finally get to see the Millionaire Matchmaker bathroom as Kim does her make-up!

Now to the important issue at hand, Destin and Rachel are still planning their wedding! Haven’t they been engaged for a full three seasons now? Well, my favorite part of the episode was Destin’s adorable offspring! Destin’s son definitely got all the good genes, but where was his Mohawk?

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An all new episode of Millionaire Matchmaker aired Sunday on a special night with the single 50-year-old Patti Stanger once again setting up rich singles to no avail!

The theme this week seems to be helping those who typically help others find their loves! Why is Patti not setting herself up? The first bachelor is Steve G. Jones, described as a “famous hypnotherapist” who sometimes helps Patti with her single millionaires. Steve is 42 and divorced. Patti is excited to help Steve find love while Dustin just wonders why he can’t help himself find love by, you know, “hypnotherapizing” himself!

The next bachelor is Creepy McCreepington Gary Coxe, described as a “big time motivational speaker” who has a very long laundry list of what he looks for in a partner. Gary is 46-years-old and looking for a Jessica Simpson type aka a 110-pound blonde (Err has he seen JS lately???), age 29 – 33, is not a career woman and can spend all day cooking for him. Gary would also like his blonde bimbo to be Christian and spiritual. Jesus Barbie anyone? Paging Alexis Bellino! I repeat paging Alexis Bellino!

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