Oh, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, how you make Mondays worthwhile. While last night's episode was a bit boring in comparison to what we've been watching so far this season, at least their acting skills are improving…or maybe I had one too many glasses of wine. Yeah, that was probably it.
It's date night for Joseline Hernandez and Stevie J. He's trying to wine and dine her so she won't blow up at him when he tells her that their big wedding will have to wait until he's got more money in the bank. Beforehand, they discuss their big plans for a lavish wedding ceremony, and she doesn't seem to upset to postpone the party until they have more cash flow. She is, however, not happy that Stevie can't remember their actual anniversary. Funny, didn't she stumble over the date at her birthday party. Because Mona Scott Young won't grant me subtitles, I can't elaborate on what Joseline is whining about, but it has something to do with getting rid of her booking agent Dawn for not getting her any gigs. Stevie is worried she won't be able to separate out business and friendship when it comes to dealing with Dawn.
I'm curious…do you think VH1 and Mona Scott Young really, truly believe that viewers think Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta is a reality show? The acting is fantastically tragic and there is nothing real about it…except for that sex tape, clearly.
Nikko didn't tell Mimi Faust about his confrontation with Stevie J. immediately after it happened, but he spills the beans when they are driving the next day. When she learns that Nikko has told her ex about the deal Vivid, she has to pull over to read Nikko the riot act. She is cruising in her new vehicle (thanks, Steven Hirsch!), and Mimi doesn't want to wreck it when she wrecks him. As she cusses up a storm, Nikko just laughs that Stevie shouldn't get her riled up like this. Mimi tries to kick him out of her ride, but when he refuses, she's the one who storms off on foot.
Lil' Scrappy is eating eggs with Erica P…or at least he hopes to be scrambling some things with her. He arrives at her house to find out that she's lit candles and served wine, and he wonders whether he's there to pray or have sex. Scrappy is a bit nervous, but he wants to be a better person. He is feeling guilty about Bambi and he wants to think with this head and not his hiz-ead. Scrappy shuts down Erica's advances, complimenting her that he'd definitely be with her if he didn't already have Bambi. And they say romance is dead!
I certainly don't believe Mimi Faust's version of the stolen sex tape which will make her super rich. While she may not have devised the plan with Nikko (who looks like he couldn't plan his way out of a paper bag), I don't think she was as clueless and doe-eyed about it as she tries to appear on Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta. That said, Stevie J. will always be just gross and a little scary in my book. Behind his funny one-liners and ridiculous persona, I see a very manipulative creep who likes to threaten others to make himself feel like a bigger man. When he first started on the show, his behavior towards Mimi was deplorable and based entirely on manipulation and humiliation. I'll get off my soapbox now, but I've known the likes of Stevie. Of course, who am I kidding? All of these people are bat-poo insane!
The latest drama between the pair occurred after Mimi's father died on Wednesday. Stevie shared his condolences with a threatening text message insinuating that Mimi may be dealing with more death than just that of her father. Classy. Of course, Mimi did what every woman who didn't want to escalate a bad situation would do…she posted a screenshot of the text on Instagram.
Please accept my sincerest apology. I dropped the ball in a major way! How did I not know that my favorite new scripted show Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was on twice this week? Since the recap is already a day late, let's just dive right in to the insanity, shall we?
Joseline Hernandez goes to Stevie J.'s man cave to continue to nag him about Mimi Faust's friends being all up in their business. Does she just wander around in lingerie all the time? Seriously, the sets, the lighting, the costumes, the horrible acting–this is NOT reality television! Stevie ignores his bride while surfing the Internet, and lo and behold! He's just happens across the blog story that shares Mimi's "leaked" sex tape with Nikko. Talk about coincidence!
Next, I was literally about to give up on all things Mona Scott Young when I saw just how bad Karlie Redd's acting is until I learned that she is supposed to be acting because she's in a "movie" now called 30 Days in Atlanta. Someone call Sundance! Karlie is so thrilled to be in a relationship with Yung Joc. Not only is he younger and more successful than Benzino, he has a neck! Yung also doesn't like drama. She tap dances between making out with him and accusing him of cheating since he's wearing the same clothes she saw him in yesterday. Karlie thinks the best way to keep tabs on him is to for them to move in together. That is a GREAT idea!
My, oh my! I'd forgotten so much about how last season's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta ended, so I was like a kid at Christmas watching the highlights. The three-way proposal! The three-way three-way! If this season is half as dramatic as last, we are in for a train wreck. Last night's premiere didn't disappoint. Stevie J. is certainly stepping up in the world, isn't he? He's living in the White House with Joseline Hernandez. Their shared mansion is 18,000 square feet, and the pair pour champagne for breakfast. It's a long way from Benzino's sofa! Joseline reveals that the couple got married in a courthouse, and she's ready for a lavish wedding. The dress she wants is only $25,000. A steal! Stevie wants a wedding celebration too, but first he'd like to focus on a shared birthday party since they were born one day apart.
Rasheeda and Kirk Frost are "back together" for the sake of their son Carter. Of course, by "back together" I mean they are living in the same house and co-parenting their newborn, but Rasheeda has banished him to a separate bedroom and I can guarantee you he's not getting any love from her. I'm sure he's keeping himself sane courtesy of the threesome memories from No Neck's cabin. Here's hoping Kirk doesn't act like as much of a douche as he did last season!
Well I never thought I'd type the following words…I kind of agree with Stevie J. from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Before you jump all over me (or before I commit myself to the nearest nut house), let me clarify that I agree with what he is saying, not necessarily his motivation for saying it. I think we all know that Stevie J. is no saint and his judgment of ex Mimi Faust'srecord breaking sex tape falls flat.
While Stevie is all "I can't believe she did that," all I really hear is "I can't believe she did that without me." He's certainly no angel, but his best pal Benzino–glad to see you're feeling well enough after that shooting to give interviews about your friend, boo! (No, really, I have a strange infatuation for this man…ugh!)–is claiming that Stevie is only worried about the couple's young daughter. Understandably.
Is Vivid getting a two-for-one deal on sex tapes with the ladies from the Love & Hip Hop franchise? First, Atlanta'sMimi Faust has released a video which is breaking Kim Kardashian'sporn records, and now Erica Mena is throwing her hat (thong?) into the ring with some sexy times of her own!
And when I say "her own" I mean her own, as there is apparently only one star of Erica's tape. While she's been on-and-off with manager Rich Dollaz while in a lesbian relationship which was featured on last season, it's seems that Erica's favorite person in the bedroom is, well, Erica.