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Mob Wives Recap

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Last night's Mob Wives was a big ol' Twitter hating, lingerie wearing, baby building, screaming mess. Can you guess who was doing the most?  

It begins with Renee Graziano heads to Drita D'avanzo's house for dinner with Natalie Guercio and Alicia deMichele Garofalo. Drita is prepared to play the role of mediator. She isn't going to let anyone get physical in the house she just redecorated. The meal starts out as an awkward, tense blind date. Even Big Ang is quiet, which is unheard of for her. Renee calls out Alicia for not eating, and Alicia takes the opportunity to say she wants to calmly rehash their issues. Alicia confronts Renee about spreading rumors about her that are jeopardizing her case. Renee admits that she is guilty of gossiping, but she'd never be a rat. Alicia accepts what Renee has to say, and she doesn't believe she's leaked any information to the press. Renee believes that Alicia has a giant problem with her best friend Carla, and the women's discussion gets heated.

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So, the ladies of Mob Wives are officially my jam. I've always watched. I've always liked it. This season, however, I love it. I want to be friends with Drita and Ang. For real. Are they not fabulous? 

Alicia diMichele Garofalo calls Natalie Guercio to share the news that her husband Eddie is getting sentenced that day. Needless to say, she's bugging out over whether the judge will accept Eddie's plea deal. Alicia knows that the media is going to explode with this new development. Natalie is supportive but also worried for her friend. They can't help but fear the worst. On Staten Island, Natalie is meeting with Renee Graziano and air kisses ensue. Well, that's better than throwing brunch foods, right? Renee opens with the fact that their bad blood should end their Mob Candy business relationship. Natalie interrupts to say that she's known that since Renee put her in a headlock and never paid her. Renee is confused that she lost what she thought was the upper hand so quickly. Her eyes are darting all over the place like she's watching a ping pong tournament. The ladies discuss their apologies, but can only agree that Renee's was insincere…Natalie meant every word. Renee doesn't believe that Natalie's apology or her Halloween invitation were genuine. Natalie is able to keep her calm and relay her feelings without looking like a crazy person. Renee should take note. Wait…is she? Renee wonders what she can do to heal their relationship. Renee seems fine until she hears the word "loyalty." I think she may blow a gasket! Renee can barely contain her insane anger before storming out of the restaurant. Dear Natalie, shirts are meant to cover your midriff. 

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Last night's Mob Wives was a lot more tricks than treats as friendships were tested and costumes were thrown by the wayside. Who needs to be dressed up as an actual person or thing when you can throw on black angel wings, red contact lenses, and a lace thong? 

​At Big Ang's house, Renee Graziano stops in share her recent showdown with Alicia diMichele Garofalo. Renee thinks that Alicia has been as fake as can be since the get-go. Meanwhile, in Philly, Alicia is telling her side of the story to Natalie Guercio. Renee's side of the story is much more dramatic than the actual event, but she tries to explain to Ang that there has always been something about Alicia she's disliked. Doesn't she understand that you don't throw around the term "rat"? Ang hopes that Alicia can learn to filter through all the gossip she hears.

Natalie has invited Alicia, Ang, and Drita D'avanzo to go to the pumpkin patch in preparation for Halloween. The women are scaring themselves silly in a haunted corn field. It's all in a day's work for Natalie since she works in a funeral home. Really it's just a bunch of fake dead bodies sprawled around everywhere. I could have also gone without with Natalie and Ang's sex ed lesson with gourds. Natalie invites the ladies to a Halloween party at her funeral home. She's going to set up a bar in an actual casket. "That's so cute" squeals Drita until she finds out the location. Natalie wonders if she should invite Renee, and Alicia believes that it's good for her friend to be the bigger person. 

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The ladies of Mob Wives…whatever are we going to do with them? Between the bleeps and the rat accusations and promises of 90's rappers, my head is still spinning from last night's episode!

Drita D'avanzo is back in the studio to work on her music career. Her rap career is really blowing up…according to her. Sure. After hearing two beats from a potential "Mrs. Moneybags" single, Drita is raring to go. She's ready to lay down some rhymes. She freaks out when she learns that Method Man may also be on the track. Are you kidding me? Wu Tang? Please and thank you. I once saw them open for L.L. Cool J. Amazing.

After Alicia diMichele Garofalo's rat accusations last week, Renee Graziano felt targeted. Renee is walking with Big Ang and going off on Alicia's attack on her character. No one is going to call her a rat and get away with it. Ang stays quiet, but you can tell that she doth thinks Renee protest too much. Drita is dining with Alicia, and Drita feels badly about the position in which Alicia finds herself. She's shocked to learn more about Renee knowing so much about Alicia's case. Feeling stuck between her friends, Drita reminds Alicia that whatever Renee said wasn't out of malice. It's the lifestyle. Meanwhile, Ang is trying to placate Renee who is going off the rails. Did someone say her boyfriend smelled delicious again? Renee is cool being called a lot of things, but a snitch isn't one of them. I am getting hoarse just listening to Renee shriek. 

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It was a very crazy Christmas for the ladies of Mob Wives. While I realize they filmed long ago, it's fun to bring their antics into present day. Santa probably didn't leave what he planned for Renee Graziano thanks to her behavior last night. Come to think of it, most of the girls deserved big lumps of coal!

After Natalie Guercio called out Renee's VH1 hire-a-date delicious, all hell broke loose, giving us a story line for last night's episode. We begin with Renee and son AJ dining with his new (?) girlfriend and Michael, Renee's latest love interest. Michael is late. Renee forgives his indiscretions and orders several bottles of wine. Xanax is her issue, so wine is fine. Is that how recovery works?

Michael tries to impress Renee's son with his rapper connections, but AJ isn't biting. When Michael reveals that he has somewhere else to be after this dinner, things go down hill. Renee blames Natalie for introducing Michael to her craziness with Natalie's "delicious smelling" comment. AJ tries to be the voice of reason, but we know it's all for naught. Michael exits (did they even have apps?), and Renee questions the relationship.

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Well it appears we're about to have a Sharks versus Jets situation on this season's Mob Wives, only it will be Philly taking on Staten Island, and by Staten Island, I mean Renee Graziano. Note to self, never tell a man he smells nice in Renee's presence. What a crazy episode! Does someone need to go back to therapy?  Let's get started, shall we?

At Drita D'avanzo's house, construction is going full force. She's all about renovating her home while trying not to remember that the last time they tried to remodel her husband Lee robbed a bank and ended up in jail. Big Ang drops in to see the progress and enjoys hearing that Lee is happy to be working a regular job. Drita is stressing about her oldest daughter being bullied in school, and a girls' night out with the ladies helmed by Alicia deMichele Garofalo is just what the doctor ordered. 

Alicia has finished listening to years worth of wire taps that have made her husband into a virtual stranger. She can't dwell on what she's learned though because she has to host a party for her family. She has sheltered her children from their father's antics, and she's just trying to focus on her oldest son going off to college. Alicia has grand plans to send him care packages full of meatballs and condoms. She takes her brother aside to discuss her husband's lies via wiretap. Alicia wants to confront her husband about her new knowledge, and her brother hopes that she'll realize "it is what it is." I'd knee my brother where it counts, but Alicia is happy for the support.

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Well, they are definitely back! Last night's Mob Wives and me thinks the new girls need to learn the pecking order…and fast!

The episode begins as Renee Graziano is taking her shoe line to Alicia DiMichele Garafalo's boutique in hopes that people want to wear stilettos sporting a hand flipping the bird. Why not? The women chat nonchalantly about the upcoming charges facing Alicia's husband who happens to be Renee's lifelong friend. He's warned Alicia not to let Renee get in her into any drama. The women compare new tattoos and talk about Eddie's amazing qualities and his rap sheet…and now Alicia's thanks to her involvement with his business. 

Across town, Drita D'avanzo and Big Ang are partaking in pedis, massages, and gossip over newbie Natalie Guercio and her drunken lunch antics. They are concerned that Renee has gotten so close with someone who may be able to derail her sobriety. Drita then reveals that she has a stalker at her make-up salon who is scaring her employers. Mid-sentence, Renee texts Drita to see if the ladies will join her and Natalie for lunch the following day. Ang is super hesitant to relive another meal with Natalie. 

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So where are the vampires and werewolves? Last night was the premiere of Mob Wives: New Blood. I liked the stylized new opener…after three seasons, it was long overdue. I do take issue with all that wasted wine though!

Renee Graziano hopes that her ex-husband rots in jail. She can't be bothered with his suffering because she's starting a clothing line to compliment her Boss Bitch shoe line. A.J. is still living at home, but thank goodness, he's got a job. Renee shares that her father is about to be released from prison. Life is going well for her…thank goodness. I think we were all terrified of Renee when it wasn't!  After opening her new bar in Miami, Big Ang is thrilled to be back in Staten Island. She calls up Renee to get an earful about Renee's latest fashion endeavor. Renee's friend and newbie co-star Alicia DiMichele Garofalo is throwing a party, and the ladies can't wait to attend. 

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