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Mob Wives Recaps

It’s the bleeping finale of Mob Wives, and I know you’re all just as excited as I am! Carla is worried about what will happen now that Joe is out of prison, and Renee revels in her new-found Junior-free freedom. But who cares about that? Drita and Karen Throw. It. Down. in a scene that makes Tamra Barney throwing her sis and desist letter in Jeana Keogh’s face look like two pals hugging after a picnic with unicorns and kittens. It’s fabulous.

Karen Gravano calls her ex-boyfriend and baby daddy Dave to talk about her recent time in Staten Island. He tells her not to get caught up in the drama and to keep doing what she’s doing in regard to her book because, you know, “haters gonna hate.” Is Dave an alias for The Situation? Because he sounds a lot like Mike Sorrentino. Karen expresses regret that her daughter is still in Arizona and asks Dave if he’d ever consider coming back to New York. The pair seems to be positively working on their relationship.

Renee Graziano heads to her therapist, and she seems genuinely happy that Junior is out of her house and out of her life. Her therapist looks a tad skeptical…can you blame her? Therapy has taught Renee how to manage her temper and pick her battles. She feels very “centered.” Perhaps she should pass her therapist’s contact information on to Drita.

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On last night’s episode of Mob Wives, the ladies sort of make amends after taking dinner party from hell to a whole new meaning. Renee pretends she wants to date a normal man who is not in the mafia, Drita and Carla have incarcerated husband situations, and Karen finally snaps and throws a vase at Renee, but fails to knock any sense into her. Darn.

The episode began exactly where last week’s ended – with brawling in Renee’s dining room! Renee laments that when she set up her Sunday dinner it was to get the girls together to calmly talk about their mental issues, but sadly her “beautiful Sunday dinner has turned into a cage fight.” Renee should have expected as much since with all the issues these girls have it would take more than a Sunday evening to work through everything; more like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and all the way to the next week!

During the argument ready to rumble Drita “squares up” to break apart Carla and Renee, but Karen “The Bull” Gravano says Drita is going to have to get through her first! Clearly those two definitely still have high school drama things to work out. Good thing friend savior Renee invited them both! Renee claims that not only is Carla “attacking” her in her own home, she is also screaming in her face because she doesn’t want to hear the truth about her own boyfriend. Remember, Renee just wants to protect Carla from dating a serial a** groper. Carla has a different opinion of Renee “That mouth don’t stop going!” Graziano – she thinks Renee is a liar. So Carla tells Renee as much.

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Last night’s episode of Mob Wives was about lying liars and the lies they tell, oh and boyfriend hatin’ mafia princess Renee Graziano. Meanwhile Karen Gravano and Drita D’avanzo are still upset about last weeks fight about some guy they both like. Carla Facciolo’s boyfriend is grabbing a** all over town, well he’s grabbing almost everyone’s a**, and Renee just wants everyone to get along by acknowledging that she is always right about everything!

The show started out with Drita going to Carla’s to rehash the “Karen Loves Lee Forever” fight from last week. She is still upset that Karen called Lee a “scumbag.” Hey, truth hurts… Carla comments that a man should never come between friends. Drita explains to us that she went easy on Karen because if she wasn’t such a good friend she would f*ck her up especially because Karen was talking about Lee where her kids might hear. Across town in a parallel universe, Karen is complaining to Renee about Drita! For some reason Renee keeps repeating that Drita is a coward and owes Karen an apology? Karen says she she doesn’t feel like the situation is cleared up. You know I think I agree!

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Mob Wives

Last night’s Mob Wives episode was all about loyalty – and drinking. It was also about how having drinks with a girlfriend and loyalty do not often mix well if you are Karen Gravano. The episode also focused on what else: Renee Graziano’s loyalty to the lifestyle, loyalty to friendships and family, how Drita D’avanzo betrayed her, and whether or not it is worth it to stay connected to her past. Oh, and how she and Karen are now practically family again. As for Carla Facciolo, well she was pretty invisible again this episode, but her storyline was about family also.

The day after the Mob bust – and after a terrible day, in her own words, “Renee needs a drink.” We find out Junior is already out on bail and is likely only looking at 18 months for gambling (wait – isn’t that legal?) Renee expresses her frustration about the cycle of dealing with prison again and not being part of a normal family, because: “There’s always somebody missing to the federal f*cking government,” Renee doesn’t want that life anymore, but it is just so difficult to break away. By the way – did you see those amazing fur boots Renee had on? Girl definitely likes her fur from head to toe. After all, nothing says “bitch, I’ve arrived,” mafia-style like fur as we were taught last week in Renee’s Mob Wives 101 class.

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Mob Wives

Last night’s episode of Mob Wives was, again, about how life when you are part of the “the underworld” isn’t just about the glitz and the glamor, as Renee Graziano’s ex-husband (who is also her son AJ’s father) was arrested in a major FBI bust. Drita D’avanzo had more concerns about her husband’s sentence, and Karen Gravano began coming to terms with and exploring her feelings about her upbringing. Carla Faccilo was, as Nene Leakes likes to say: “Casper the Ghost” this episode because, yeah she was practically invisible. What an emotional episode this was – highs and lows galore, a total emotional roller coaster. As my mother said: “I feel like I need an anti-depressant after watching these broads.” Snark obviously runs in our family.

There was a lot of build up in the first part of the show until we finally got to the part all the previews were throwing in our faces: the FBI arrests! I waited on the edge of my seat for the juicy part and, yeah… it was pretty much a let down. The most we got to see of any FBI action was Renee crying in her kitchen about the arrests and the ladies showing CNN news footage. Foiled again by the infamous preview hype! It was nice that there was a significantly fewer number of bleeps so we could actually understand what they were saying to each other, though.

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On episode two of Mob Wives, which aired last night, it was all about loyalty and betrayal. Renee Graziano feels betrayed by her friends, she also feels betrayed by her ex-husband Junior – who barely has any involvement in their son AJ’s life. Carla Facciolo and Drita D’avanzo feel betrayed by their husbands for going to prison and leaving them to fend for themselves and raise their children while waiting for them to come home. And Karen Gravano feels betrayed by all the friends who ditched her when her dad ratted out all of their husbands and fathers to feds so he could go hang out poolside in AZ even though he killed 22+ people. So you know, that makes perfect sense!

So here’s what happened: “Bleep, bleepety, bleep, bleep, bl-ble-bleeep, bleep! Yeah?! Well, bleep, bleepin, bleepety bleep, ble – bleeeeeeeeep you!” Oh you couldn’t figure out what happened either? Yeah – this show needs to be on HBO or something – I can barely understand what’s being said because they have to bleep out every other word! My husband said I should start a “bleep tally” for each episode, but too much counting! Anyways, deciphering through the bleeps, this is what went on. Things picked up where they left off with Renee and Karen squabbling at Carla’s birthday party over who owns Staten Island – the state of NY or Renee? Renee seems to think it might be her, but you know – technicalities! Then her and Drita get into it when Drita tries to make peace with Renee, but ends up almost becoming The Hulk and punching her in the face and Carla had to intervene by grabbing Renee’s neck. Drita sums it up by saying: “If I hit you an ambulance is gonna come.” What a super classy party! So sad I missed it.

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