The shiz-nigh-ee is about to hit the fan-ishtas-ee. No, not really…I just love channeling my inner Lil' Scrappy. The Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta star says the darndest things! Scrap has had close to a dozen eggs scrambling to get in his pants this season, but Momma Dee is cracking down on the ladies. Not just any woodland creature can enter her kingdom!
Speaking of, "the Bambi," despite what we saw on Monday's episode, Scrappy and Bambi are still together and more in love than ever…which, in Scrap's case, means he's finally in love!
Get the Emmys ready, the crew of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta is all about the heavily scripted drama these days, and it gets more and more obvious each week. Let's get started with the recapped madness, shall we?
Because Mimi Faust cares far too much about her ex's marital status to Joseline Hernandez, Benzino believes the best way to squash their beef is to facilitate a meeting with Mimi,Stevie J., and Dawn. Seriously, how did Dawn land a role on this show? There are so many extras getting screen time this season, it's confusing! Sleazo arrives ready to shut down the Inspector Gadget asses who are hell bent on taking down Hip Hop Weekly. Stevie promises 'Zino that he and Joseline are, in fact, married, but Mimi wants the magazine to print a retraction. Stevie thinks that Mimi must still love him to go to all of this trouble, and he taunts her with his best rat face, saying that he's his own country who doesn't need to follow the laws–or marriage license filings–of the regular folk. He stutters again on his wedding date. So, this is what makes a story line? Geez, Mona. You should've run with the sex tape for a few more episodes!
Last night's episode started and stopped with lots of lady brawling, beginning right where last week's ended, with Karlie Redd going loco on Yung Joc's realtor/chauffeur/stylist/side piece Khadiyah. As the women are parted, Joc enters the room, and he's so confused as to why the two women he's bedding are fighting after he forced them to spend the afternoon together. After he admits to sleeping with Khadiyah, Karlie tells him he needs to check his hos, and she screams at Khadiyah that she hopes her lady parts taste good. Keepin' in classy! Karlie is so over Joc, and she declares she never wants to see him again…once he gives her a ride home. Joc can't seem to persuade her to get the heck out of his car, and when he exits the vehicle for a hot second, she jumps into the drivers' seat and peels off down the road. Joc laughs to himself…what did he expect?
Oh, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, how you make Mondays worthwhile. While last night's episode was a bit boring in comparison to what we've been watching so far this season, at least their acting skills are improving…or maybe I had one too many glasses of wine. Yeah, that was probably it.
It's date night for Joseline Hernandez and Stevie J. He's trying to wine and dine her so she won't blow up at him when he tells her that their big wedding will have to wait until he's got more money in the bank. Beforehand, they discuss their big plans for a lavish wedding ceremony, and she doesn't seem to upset to postpone the party until they have more cash flow. She is, however, not happy that Stevie can't remember their actual anniversary. Funny, didn't she stumble over the date at her birthday party. Because Mona Scott Young won't grant me subtitles, I can't elaborate on what Joseline is whining about, but it has something to do with getting rid of her booking agent Dawn for not getting her any gigs. Stevie is worried she won't be able to separate out business and friendship when it comes to dealing with Dawn.
I'm curious…do you think VH1 and Mona Scott Young really, truly believe that viewers think Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta is a reality show? The acting is fantastically tragic and there is nothing real about it…except for that sex tape, clearly.
Nikko didn't tell Mimi Faust about his confrontation with Stevie J. immediately after it happened, but he spills the beans when they are driving the next day. When she learns that Nikko has told her ex about the deal Vivid, she has to pull over to read Nikko the riot act. She is cruising in her new vehicle (thanks, Steven Hirsch!), and Mimi doesn't want to wreck it when she wrecks him. As she cusses up a storm, Nikko just laughs that Stevie shouldn't get her riled up like this. Mimi tries to kick him out of her ride, but when he refuses, she's the one who storms off on foot.
Lil' Scrappy is eating eggs with Erica P…or at least he hopes to be scrambling some things with her. He arrives at her house to find out that she's lit candles and served wine, and he wonders whether he's there to pray or have sex. Scrappy is a bit nervous, but he wants to be a better person. He is feeling guilty about Bambi and he wants to think with this head and not his hiz-ead. Scrappy shuts down Erica's advances, complimenting her that he'd definitely be with her if he didn't already have Bambi. And they say romance is dead!
Please accept my sincerest apology. I dropped the ball in a major way! How did I not know that my favorite new scripted show Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was on twice this week? Since the recap is already a day late, let's just dive right in to the insanity, shall we?
Joseline Hernandez goes to Stevie J.'s man cave to continue to nag him about Mimi Faust's friends being all up in their business. Does she just wander around in lingerie all the time? Seriously, the sets, the lighting, the costumes, the horrible acting–this is NOT reality television! Stevie ignores his bride while surfing the Internet, and lo and behold! He's just happens across the blog story that shares Mimi's "leaked" sex tape with Nikko. Talk about coincidence!
Next, I was literally about to give up on all things Mona Scott Young when I saw just how bad Karlie Redd's acting is until I learned that she is supposed to be acting because she's in a "movie" now called 30 Days in Atlanta. Someone call Sundance! Karlie is so thrilled to be in a relationship with Yung Joc. Not only is he younger and more successful than Benzino, he has a neck! Yung also doesn't like drama. She tap dances between making out with him and accusing him of cheating since he's wearing the same clothes she saw him in yesterday. Karlie thinks the best way to keep tabs on him is to for them to move in together. That is a GREAT idea!
My, oh my! I'd forgotten so much about how last season's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta ended, so I was like a kid at Christmas watching the highlights. The three-way proposal! The three-way three-way! If this season is half as dramatic as last, we are in for a train wreck. Last night's premiere didn't disappoint. Stevie J. is certainly stepping up in the world, isn't he? He's living in the White House with Joseline Hernandez. Their shared mansion is 18,000 square feet, and the pair pour champagne for breakfast. It's a long way from Benzino's sofa! Joseline reveals that the couple got married in a courthouse, and she's ready for a lavish wedding. The dress she wants is only $25,000. A steal! Stevie wants a wedding celebration too, but first he'd like to focus on a shared birthday party since they were born one day apart.
Rasheeda and Kirk Frost are "back together" for the sake of their son Carter. Of course, by "back together" I mean they are living in the same house and co-parenting their newborn, but Rasheeda has banished him to a separate bedroom and I can guarantee you he's not getting any love from her. I'm sure he's keeping himself sane courtesy of the threesome memories from No Neck's cabin. Here's hoping Kirk doesn't act like as much of a douche as he did last season!
It's so haa-arrr-arrd to say good-bye to Stevie Jaaaaaaayyyyeeeeeee! Last night's final installment of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion was bittersweet. On one hand, it's been an emotional roller coaster of a season, and this girl is drained, but on the other, speaking like Lil' Scrappy in the off-season tends to draw some strange looks in my place of biz-nigh-ee.
We'll jump right back into where Mona Scott Young left us…with Rasheeda and Kirk Frost's dysfunctional marriage. The audience is stunned to re-watch Kirk suggest his wife get an abortion, and he says–with a straight face, no less!–that pulling out was a legitimate form of birth control. What, is he sixteen? Mona scolds Kirk when he laughs over the footage of his affair, and he again relays to Mona that he believes Rasheeda gave him a free pass. Mimi Faust is all "oh no he didn't" from the sofas, and Drew knows better than do anything but nod in agreement to Mimi's outcry since he's sitting between her and Traci Reece.