Complex Magazine recently released a list of the so-called hottest ladies of Reality TV and we just don't agree with their version events. Kim Kardashian's surgically altered everything rolling in at number one? Um… yeah, No.
Melissa Gorga beating out Maxim's Hottest Joanna Krupa? Interesting, to say the least. Not that Melissa's not hot of course, but does she out-hot a stone cold fox of the supermodel variety? C'mon now.
And where, of course, were the guys on this list? Don't they get a mention? I mean no hottest list is complete without Joe Giudice's pregnant gut and Brooks Ayers' Hallmark thieving ways, amirite?
So anyway, Complex we'll take your hot list and raise you one of our own! Behold – Reality Tea's Hottest!
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Reality TV is known for its sensational fashion – and I don't mean sensational in a good way! I mean like, 'dressing in the dark, I bought this on clearance at Forever 21, and oops my boobs fell out' fashions.
Below are some of my least favorite red carpet fashion moments. You have been warned – these are searing, unflattering, and really, really gobsmackingly ugly.
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TELL US – WHAT REALITY STARS MAKE YOUR WORST DRESSED LIST?
It’s that time again! The Summer By Bravo trailer. This time it’s Olympics themed and awesome. Frankly, I can’t think of anything I love more than the Olympics and Bravo… so yeah, aces on that one Andy Cohen! Competing to the beat of Madonna’s Superstar, the Bravolebrities are out in droves; each one hoping to win the gold medal in famewhoring!
Below is the Bravo-lympics starring Teresa Giudice (but no Melissa Gorga), Jeff Lewis & the gang, and Patti Sanger (I know.. I’m bummed too!). Plus, NeNe Leakes, Pinot Singer, Kyle Richards in a tipsy wine race!
Also making an appearance was Brad Goreski, amidst rumors that his show has been canceled! Surprisingly NOT present was Bethenny Frankel. Hmmm…wonder what that means!
ARE YOU PSYCHED!? WHO GETS THE GOLD MEDAL FOR BIGGEST FAMEWHORE?
Previously: Chris gets eliminated for the crime of not making his tofu-emulsion chicken salad sandwiches to order.
We return to the Top Chef house with Grayson missing Chris, and the reveal that Ed sleeps in a button down shirt and boxers. Business up top, party underneath! There’s no time to ponder this because it’s time to head back to the kitchen, where Padma awaits them with my dream: a table of 80,000 pancakes. The chefs wonder who the guest judge will be, with Grayson guessing Miley Cyrus, which is incorrect because if it were Miley, the pancakes would be replaced with a giant bong.
Instead, the guest judge is Pee Wee Herman, who non-zygotes may remember from his TV show, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. They have 20 minutes to make pancakes for Pee Wee. Paul has inherited the liquid nitrogen throne from Chris and is making some kind of champagne concoction with it.
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Previously on Top Chef: Beverly gets sent home and Charlize Theron was awesome and beautiful.
We return to Top Chef:Texas with the chefs in the stew room going over Beverly‘s departure. Grayson talking-heads that she’ll miss her while the other chefs are either hiding their feelings or just don’t seem to care.
All of a sudden an angel walks in, a.k.a. Charlize Theron, and she thanks the chefs and calls herself a “huge nerd.” No, Charlize, people currently on their 98th consecutive hour of playing Skyrim while on a Mountain Dew drip are huge nerds. You are a pretty actress.
With the stew room properly blessed, we move on to the rest of the episode and the quick fire challenge, this time being judged by Padma, Emeril Lagasse and Cat Cora, who also has a new Bravo show coming up soon, Around The World In 80 Plates (Bravo doing cross-promotion, SHOCKING!!)
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