So where do we begin with this mess of a show that is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? It was just a blur of white noise. Splits Richards decided there hadn't been enough drama as of late so she decided to host her annual White Party. I mean screw P Diddy and Cannes, this is THE event of the season. Bust out your white swim suit cover-ups, get ready to twirl your hair round your head like a helicopter (one of these days Kyle is going to take off!), and then go threaten to sue your friends! Open bar on the left.
In other happenings,Kim Richards got a nose job. I mean, what else has she got to do? Kim's nose job – not big news in the real BH, I imagine, but in the RHOBH it's cause for celebration. And why not? Kim has never entertained anyone not even us on this show so perhaps it's time for her to do some party hosting. Isn't that what these broads do with their spare time when they're not hiring lawyers because their girlfriends talk shit about them?
So anyway, Kim's having a re-done nose party (I hope she got a ton of cards that said: 'Congratulations on your re-done nose!'). She has this sweet little coffee bar set up and she's rocking a Mrs. Roper mumu as she swans around the pool. It was all very seventies. I've noticed a lot of what Splits and Kim do is circa seventies (hello… THE White Party, y'all!).
Speaking of Splits, she shows up towing along two adorable little girls and one orangey blob in a scarecrow wig. Yeah, Faye Resnick was there, but by the blessed gods of Bravo she barely spoke and stayed mainly off camera. Perhaps they wanted to keep the party focused on decent plastic surgery.
Oh sweet Jesus is there really more back and forth between Brandi Glanville and Adrienne Maloof? Yes – of course! While that mess is still ongoing it seems Brandi is willing to put one acrimonious feud behind her!
And one person who is totally in agreement with that idea is friend (and support system) Yolanda Foster! “I made Brandi promise me this week that once her book tour is over she will never say her name again,” Yolanda shared with Perez Hilton. “At some point you need to move on. There’s children involved, so hopefully she can keep her word.”
Yolanda, you and me both. If I ever have to hear LeAnn Rimes' name again, I may turn to drinking and tweeting!
Well since Bernie Guzman (aka Chef Bernie) is more desperate for 15 minutes of fame than I am for wine on tap and an unlimited french fry buffet, he's of course rushing to Adrienne's favorite tabloid RadarOnline to rebuttal.
“Paul is a 50-year-old man acting like a little boy,” Berniewhines. “He is trying to silence the violence and I’m not going to let him.” Bernie claims he is now the voice of domestic violence and he will fight this lawsuit.
Um… somebody's about to get his charred chicken handed right back to him on a silver platter. And that person is eternal Adrienne Maloof mouthpiece Chef Bernie!
TMZ reports that Paul Nassif has filed a lawsuit against Bernie Guzman for unspecified damages, claiming the chef blackmailed and extorted him – and then slandered his reputation by falsely accusing him of spousal abuse!
Well one thing is certain – Brandi forced Adrienne to fess up to the rent-a-uterus. And she gave Adrienne a storyline for the first time ever. Way to go Adrienne – you're finally semi-relevant!
While that is all fine and good, Adrienne is holding firm in her accusations that Brandi ruined her family and destroyed her children's innocence. Oh Adrienne – give it a rest already. I agree with Brandi you claimed their father was abusing you and your children in the media – and that is much worse!
The battle between Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville rages on! In response to Brandi recently revealing that Adrienne's ex-husband Paul Nassif apologized to her over the lawsuit – and for some of his behaviors, Adrienne is speaking out and she is feeling anything but contrite!
“It’s the ultimate betrayal,” the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star tells Life & Style. “It’s extremely hurtful.” Apparently Brandi and Paul have forged something of a friendship in the last two months – even exchanging text messages – and Adrienne finds Brandi's motives to be extremely suspect!
“I believe getting close to Paul is a ploy on Brandi’s part to make herself more relevant," Adrienne elaborates. “I feel the sudden friendship with him was thought out and vindictive.”
It's nice to know Paul Nassif isn't a man to hold a grudge – even against his ex-wife Adrienne Maloof which is really saying something considering the allegations she made during their divorce process.
"As long as she's happy, that's all I care about," he told TMZ. As for whether or not he's still a Rod Stewart fan, Paul said "of course!"
Moving on, Brandi Glanville (and her thigh-high slit) appeared on Good Day LA to promote her new book Drinking & Tweeting – and her dress line Brand B. And by the looks of things only people who look like Brandi herself could pull them off!