Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta went left to The Matrix. I don’t even know what happened, but I feel like I entered an alternate universe? Of secret carpet muncher people? Even writing that feels wrong and homophobic. I want to go back home! I want to go click my Louboutins together and be transported to an RHOA of wig tugs, Bloops! and weird pickle photoshoots.
I had forgotten how debased Kandi Burruss and Porsha Williams‘ argument was in the week-off where I watched gorgeous gowns float across the Oscars stage. You can catch up on that recap here.
It was a hard jolt back to reality (I ate the blue pill! On a Monday!) to have the episode open with Porsha accusing Kandi and Todd of possibly planning to drug her then drag her into their hidden sex dungeon. OK – WHAT?!
Porsha “heard this” lurid rumor from someone else. Apparently she believes it. We know how those words on the street work in Atlanta. Turn here for “Liable Suit Way”! Kandi rightfully wants Porsha to present receipts to back-up any of her claims.
Porsha made those claims with no receipts, so I knew this WWHLepisode was going to be a juicy one. Plus, this entire time I have been wondering why Porsha is the only one having these heated discussions with Kandi when Phaedra Parks is the one who initially said that Kandi and Todd had a sexual relationship with Shamea. Yes, Porsha addressed this too. FINALLY.
If you need a refresher on Real Housewives of Atlanta since it’s been two weeks since the last episode, start with the recap here. For those of us still recovering from the raunch of it all, let’s start fresh this week. Oh wait, we can’t! Because they are STILL going to be rehashing it some more this week. Although, the cast does fly off to Hawaii, so we may get a change of scenery in that way.
Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker plan a couples’ getaway to Maui for all the ladies – and somehow we wind up with Peter Thomas tagging along, too. Porsha Williams puts Kandi past her boiling point when she lets accusations fly about attempted druggings and sex dungeons.
I cannot be the only one who is bothered by the fact that “gay rumors” about Kandi Burruss are being treated as a “scandalous” story line on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Why is the possibility that someone is gay or that she has experimented with her sexuality something that has to be scandalized? Porsha Williams took the heat for Phaedra Parks who first said that Kandi has a sexual history with Porsha’s BFF Shamea Morton and it just turned into a super ugly exchange when they met up to discuss it all.
I would understand why any married person would be offended by rumors that she had an affair, but I don’t get why there’s some sort of added sting to that because Shamea is a woman. I’m over these reality stars justifying themselves by saying “funny” things about how they are “strictly dickly” and whatever other puns to refute the rumors. Just say they’re not true if they are not true. There’s no need to scandalize someone’s possible exploration of their sexuality. And to make matters even worse, Porsha and Kandi’s attempt to talk out the misunderstanding turned into a lot of yelling and accusations. Not only is it a total mess between friends, but it’s really brought on a bigger issue in the eyes of many viewers who are offended by the complete lack of sensitivity when it comes to conveying and marketing this story line.
Unlike when Phaedra was dead silent while Marlo Hampton brought the undercover lesbian accusations to light during the glamping trip, Phaedra is actually talking when it comes to her divorce and the Porsha vs. Kandi feud.
Well, um, who needs a hot shower after last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta?! The ladies were on pu$$y patrol, but there was also slow motion stiletto strolls, butterflies, and some serious Diana Ross, the Studio 54 years, hairstyles.
After a dramatic ‘lesbian’ laden dinner brought the glamping adventure to an end, Kandi Burruss is too upset by the accusations to ride home on the communal bus. Or maybe she was scared she have to confront further issues? One person, Cynthia Bailey, is relieved to be away from pu$$y-related problems, but alas that escape will be short-lived and come right back at Cynthia like getting struck by lightening.
While Marlo Hampton, stirrer of trouble and bubbles, busies herself with selfies, Sheree Whitfield plots and ponders. Specifically she wonders why Phaedra Parks, one of the originators of the ‘Kandi hooks up with girls’ rumors, never backed her bestie Porsha Williams. But for now Porsha is willing to sit in the hotseat alone, except for her girls ‘Coco and Chanel.’
Poor Kandi Burruss. These lesbian rumors just won’t stop even though she only just heard about them during the last RHOA episode thanks to wannabe Housewife Marlo Hampton. This chatter has been going on for multiple episodes, yet this is the first time Kandi found out about it – in a group setting and in front of the cameras, of course.
Poor Cynthia Bailey‘s divorce progress got pushed to the back burner as soon as Marlo decided to put Kandi on blast after repeating what Sheree Whitfield told her. Still, Cynthia actually did feel the love from the RHOA ladies when she made her announcement. Cynthia discussed the progress of her divorce, the support from her cast members, and this chatter about Kandi and her her alleged secret sex life with Bravo.
I could not control my laughter when Porsha Williams gasped and over exaggerated in response to Marlo Hampton talking about the Kandi Burruss lesbian rumors after Sheree Whitfield spilled some tea to her in private. Porsha was a major part of that initial conversation and threw her best friend Shamea Morton under the bus in the process. It was hilarious when she tried to distance herself from that conversation while Phaedra Parks was sweating bullets hoping not to get called out as well.
Now, Porsha has decided that her dating life is off limits. This is pretty absurd given that she is a star of a reality show and doesn’t really have a story line (other than spreading other people’s business and denying her well-documented anger issues) and because she talks about everyone else’s romances and sexual dalliances. So, why should she get a free pass? Yeah, I can’t think of a reason either.