Last night Real Housewives of Atlanta was a total filler before the finale episode, which meant it was low on drama as Bravo lets us go into withdrawal in preparation for next week!
Things begin at Kandi Burruss' housewarming party where one furious former beauty queen is storming around, causing a tornado and unleashing the twirl of death. She's knocking over plants, tossing things at unsuspecting guests, laser eyebeams seeking her next victim as everyone cowers in fear hiding behind their wine glasses. It's only Kenya Moore, but that's like saying it's only the atomic bomb.
As Walter Jackson and "date" scurry out the back door, Kenya's mane of death is twirling faster and faster and faster while she screams "SECURITY!" until Don Juan is dispatched to guide this furious storm to the safety of the parking lot. There, her only victim may be an unsuspecting Bentley – its life cut perilously short by an enraged Miss TWIRL-S-A.
Kenya rants and raves about how Walter is stalking her and ruining all her social functions by showing up to intentionally destroy her. 'Get this Bentley out of my way Don Juan because I swear I'm about to pretend it's Walter and render it impotent. Oh wait – Walter is already impotent. Didn't you know?!'
A week after Kandi Burrussfiled a lawsuit against Kim in federal court over royalties, non-payment, and rights to use the song 'Tardy For The Party,' Kim continues to desperately exonerate herself by slamming Kandi in the media and on twitter. Among other things, Kim has called Kandi a famewhore seeking publicity and a liar. Kandi has not commented.
Going one step further, the Don't Be Tardy star put out an official press release giving her perspective on the lawsuit. It is of no surprise that Kim takes no responsibility and accuses Kandi of lies and negligence. Furthermore this is the most professional (ha!) press release ever. Is Brielle not only Kim's songwriter but her PR rep too?
"The lawsuit led by Kandi Burruss and Rodney Richard aka Don Vito against Kim Zolciak-Biermann over the song 'Tardy For The Party' is without merit and suspicious in its timing," Kim's official statement begins.
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta we dealt with the ghosts of fauxlationships past when Bravo the ladies did everything in their power to force a confrontation between former business partners boyfriend and girlfriend Kenya Moore and Walter Jackson. Much to my dismay, that did not happen. As a small consolation we got several delusional talking head rants from Kenya and one Kenyantrum.
Before any of that happened Porsha Stewart tried to navigate the nearly impossible task of taking a pregnancy test. EPT stands for Error Proof Test… until Porsha gets her hands on it! Girl actually thought you had to pee for two whole minutes instead of waiting 2 minutes for the results.
Porsha and Kordell poured over the instructions in panicked frustration for about an hour like it was a map to buried treasure. And Kontroll doesn't want to hire a nanny? Lord help us all… And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Porsha pregnant before? She has definitely done the whole pee on a stick song and dance. Anyway, she's not pregnant. And poor Porsha looked really sad to realize that once again the yams had not worked. All she got for her troubles was some orange poop and one completely apathetic Kontroll. Worst. Reaction. Ever.
Apparently Phaedra is even busier than we imagined! Currently pregnant with her second son, Phaedra is working on a book, her mortuary science degree, a possible spinoff, and is still active in her legal practice. Oh – and she's planning to return to for another season of RHOA! Dang lady, sit. down. Some excerpts are below!
On being portrayed accurately on RHOA, of which she has a remarkably relaxed attitude:
"What you have to realize is that it is television. Television is a medium for entertainment, it’s not a documentary, it’s for entertainment and I think you are definitely entertained," Phaedrashares with Complex.
"It’s an ensemble cast so you’ve got six or seven of us and you’re seeing a limited amount of our time. The show breaks everything down into 10 or 15 minute segments so of course it can’t catch every facet of a person's personality but it is what it is."
Things are getting heated and dangerous in the land of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I cannot wait! Lord knows I love a legal drama!
Kandi Burruss, along with co-writer and co-producer Rodney Richard are suingKim Zolciak for non-payment and improper use of copywritten material over the song "Don't Be Tardy." The suit was filed in federal court.
Well Wigs is not taking any accountability in the matter! Oh Kim… You know if the tables were reversed Kim would hunt Kandi down and waterboard her for that money!
"This is nothing short of a publicity stunt, I find this lawsuit funny yet sad," Kimtold Too Fab. "Coming after me now and this song is 4 years old? I have in fact overpaid Kandi and have documents to prove it and my legal team will handle this accordingly."
Last night the ladies ofReal Housewives of Atlanta took their bickering and kill'em with kindness values to Las Vegas where things got um… well things got as invasive as a gynecological exam. There were strip clubs, Bedroom Kandi parties, and a marriage intervention with Porsha Stewart because apparently being a prude is so last season, right NeNe Leakes?
Things begin with Cynthia Bailey and Kenya Moore swapping moisturizer (Kenya doesn't want to be called "ashy feet" again!) and discussing dinner the night before as they pack for Vegas. Apparently the two are now BFF… when did this happen? I mean that's fine but didn't they hate each other a few episodes ago and now all of the sudden Cynthia is the only person Kenya can trust on this show?
Anyway, Kenya doesn't feel comfortable explaining to the other women that the reason she and Walter Jackson broke up is because the whole relationship was fake to begin with and he was tired of people around town actually thinking he would wife that. Mmmm-mmmmm! Walter is not about to ring Krayonce. He is not some hillbilly Kroy Biermann who is going to get run over by the Gold Digger Express.
Do not be late to a party hosted by Ms. NeNe Leakes or you will likely find yourself hanging out in your designer shoes (and unflattering leopard print pants) in the driveway begging for a doggybag!
Last week the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta were over two hours late to a dinner party hosted by Ms. Leakes and she dejected them at the door. Many wondered why, if you were so tardy for the party, you wouldn't call ahead?
Cynthia Baileyreveals that she did call NeNe to communicate their lateness, and even though she was ready on time she decided to stay and wait for the other ladies.
"I had been communicating with NeNe since we landed, and I knew she was a little stressed trying to get the dinner party together for us because of her work schedule. At one point, I actually thought about offering to come a little early to help her out.