Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta paid a visit to beautiful Savannah where there were history lessons all around.
Things pick up where they left off on the bus ride that never ends. Kenya Moore is just sooooooo upset that people were late. Just sooooo disappointed. Just sooooo appalled. Needless to say she starts lecturing the group on not being tardy for any of NeNe Leakes' parties (Didn't we learn that last year?), whenKandi Burruss leaps up to shut Kenya down. Schooled By Bravo.
Phaedra Parks whips out the breast pump to produce some "organic, chocolate milk". New Housewife-in-Training Mynique Smith starts giving sex and marriage tips. She's another one who is subservient to her husband. Which means having a lot of sex. And listening to what he says. Many of the other ladies disagree – especially NeNe who believes the husband should be subservient to the working gal!
They got off to a rocky start last week when everyone arrived hours late to NeNe Leakes' pre-party and things just did not turn around.
Tonight Phaedra Parks has issues with NeNe's friend and rumored new Housewife Mynique Smith over rumors that Phaedra used to um… be quite close with Mynique's husband Chuck! Phaedra denies this of course.
Kandi Burruss also reportedly has a past with Chuck and the two reportedly dated when he was still relevant years ago!
This week Kenya Moore started off a little more even-keeled on Real Housewives of Atlanta than she normally does. She showed up to NeNe's on time and seemed genuinely excited to go on the trip to Savannah with her co-stars. The kray kray came later, of course, but still..she gets points for effort!
Kenya took to her Bravo blog to clarify a few things, including her comment that Kandi Burruss could afford to skip a meal. She says that it was all said in good fun. "I made a wise crack at Kandi saying she could skip a meal. Kandi knows I think she has a great figure, so I’m sure she laughed as we have together about the 5-10 pounds she wants to lose. I’m not a tiny girl myself, and I appreciate a woman with curves. I won Miss USA at 128lbs and I’m now a healthy 145-150lb at 5’10”." Kenya has been well trained in the art of shameless plugging now that she's a full-fledged reality star, "As women, we know 5lbs is everything to us, but I simply encourage all women to be healthy. My best selling workout DVD “Booty Boot Camp” is available worldwide on Amazon.com."
Instead, the Neenster comes up with a hilarious new nickname for Phaedra Parks. No, it's not the Head Doctor…that's so last week! This week, NeNe has dubbed Phaedra the "mortician of manners" after showing up three hours late to leave for the girls' trip to Savannah. I think I would have left her donkey booty.
We had Krazy Kenya Moore and more crazy Mama Joyce and we had busloads of drama. I'm glad I was sitting down, sipping on some chilled wine because otherwise I would have needed my own dose of psych meds!
Let's rip this mess apart.
So NeNe Leakes is in her store-sized closet (she oughtta start letting 'bout to be broke Porsha Stewart shop in there. More on her later) packing for Savannah. She's excited to be planning a girls' bonding trip and Gregg is excited to be fitting into NeNe's shoes. They wear the same size. They should dress up as each other for Halloween.
On the other side of town Kandi Burruss pays a visit to Cynthia Bailey to bond over mamas who hate their man and wanting to cancel their weddings. Was that an episode of Jenny Jones ten years ago? Anyway, Kandi breaks down sobbing as she recounts for Cynthia the incidents at the bridal boutique the week before. Cynthia is shocked that Mama Joyce and the Aunts went all OLG: Old Lady Gang and got crunk amid some big ol' white ball gowns. Say Yes To SECURRRTY!
The ladies of Real Housewives of Atlantalove to argue over body parts! From wigs, to teeth, to bootys – and now "head". Oh goodness.
On last week's episode NeNe Leakes finally admitted to knowing of Phaedra Parks from growing up in their tiny town of Athens by revealing that Ms. Southern Belle had a bit of a reputation as the "head doctor". That's classy!
I feel like I need to pull out my Sweet Valley High slam book for the fiasco that was Sunday'sReal Housewives of Atlanta. Most likely to spend her life barefoot and pregnant? Oh, wait, she left the show for her own spin-off…Best looking? Let's ask the folks over at Miss America USA if pretty is as crazy does. As for biggest mouth, I think we can all agree that NeNe Leakes will own what she says–and twist it accordingly to serve her purpose.
This week the Neenster got into a war of words with Phaedra Parks and her special skills. While I'm sure she was known for her oral arguments in law school, NeNe insinuated that Phaedra had other oral accomplishments back in high school. Ladies, ladies, can't we all just get along?