On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, we dipped into the complex relationships of married couples having problems and the woman who decided it was her duty to help them out using shade, manipulation, and rompers. Kenya Moore, you benevolent soul!
Following the flip your coupledom dinner party, Kenya sits down with Miss Lawrence. She's just finished working out and is tucking into a big plate of fruit. "I have to take care of my figure and watch what I eat. I don't want to leave this trip looking like Phaedra." Phaedra Parkswho JUST HAD A BABY. Phaedra and Kenya need some new original material besides fat and slut zingers. Kenya also has to take care of her figure because African mysterio prince is her only man and errr… yeah.
Speaking of men she doesn't have, Kenya wants to coerce Apollo into a one-on-one so she can force him to admit he lied about the nature of their relationship. Kenya values honesty apparently. Except where her romantic relationships are concerned, then it's like, "Honesty? Who's that? We've never dated… "
Her public denial is a good thing because Teodoro's actual girlfriend hasn't been too thrilled with the gossip surrounding her beau and Porsha. The dictator's son has been seeing Castle star Tamala Jones. The actress even took to Twitter to vent her frustrations about the whole debacle, and now Porsha is trying to clear up things on her end as well!
According to sources at TMZ, Porsha has been getting frisky with wealthy African dictator's son, 42-year-old Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue, whose father is the ruler of Equatorial Guinea. Does that mean she'll be moving out of the country?
She begins her Bravo blog, "Hello everyone! Welcome back to another drama filled episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta! Let’s jump right on in! Peter has always maintained a friendly relationship with all the men that he has been introduced to through the ladies. He is cool with all of them. He calls them whenever he feels like it and is happy to answer the phone when they call him — Apollo, Gregg, Todd, Kordell, and of course Walter. The men have their own relationships, and I think it’s great that they all get along. It's seems pretty ridiculous to assume that the guys would stop being cool just because they are no longer in a relationship with one of the ladies or are having issues with them.
Porsha will walk away with her engagement ring and her personal belongings and that's it! Kordell was kind enough to kick in and pay her attorney fees for the divorce (approximately $19K), but he keeps everything else – two houses, his retirement fund, vehicles, etc.
Kenya Moore has crowned herself the Shade Queen and we have to admit that she may have earned that title this season and via her no-holds-barred blogs. In her newest blog, theReal Housewives of Atlanta star once again doesn't hold back about this week's episode, calling out her co-stars.
Kenya blasts NeNe Leakes, dishes on Porsha Stewart's beard situation with Kordell Stewart and talks about the apology she is expecting from Apollo Nida. Here are some highlights from this week's shady-palooza. She dishes a special brand of bitchy for Phaedra Parks.
She titles her first section "THE MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE". "What grown woman threatens her friend to discontinue being friends with them because they don’t like him or her? I felt bad for Marlo, because she was always a good friend of NeNe’s and her biggest supporter and she really hurt her feelings. And the way she cursed out Cynthia who simply tried talking to her about Marlo… I thought her stripper days were behind her, but she is really showing her ass. They are both better off without her."
By that I mean, is she an evil genius or straight-up crazy? Kenya has orchestrated shade so elaborate it's like a 7-layer taco dip with extra cheese. It's deep and flavorful and frankly scary in its articulate complexity (Kenya IS Top Chef!). And there is no nacho chip to be left unturned.
Kenya has so many targets it's difficult to know if there's a safe-zone, but good lord is it crafty and thrilling to watch. If she is working at this alone, then I bow down to her as the true maestro of all Housewives. And if she's just full-scale nutty then NeNeLeakes better contact the authorities!