We had Krazy Kenya Moore and more crazy Mama Joyce and we had busloads of drama. I'm glad I was sitting down, sipping on some chilled wine because otherwise I would have needed my own dose of psych meds!
Let's rip this mess apart.
So NeNe Leakes is in her store-sized closet (she oughtta start letting 'bout to be broke Porsha Stewart shop in there. More on her later) packing for Savannah. She's excited to be planning a girls' bonding trip and Gregg is excited to be fitting into NeNe's shoes. They wear the same size. They should dress up as each other for Halloween.
On the other side of town Kandi Burruss pays a visit to Cynthia Bailey to bond over mamas who hate their man and wanting to cancel their weddings. Was that an episode of Jenny Jones ten years ago? Anyway, Kandi breaks down sobbing as she recounts for Cynthia the incidents at the bridal boutique the week before. Cynthia is shocked that Mama Joyce and the Aunts went all OLG: Old Lady Gang and got crunk amid some big ol' white ball gowns. Say Yes To SECURRRTY!
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was um… well, lemme just say this: they need to get a psychiatrist on that show to deal with all the crazies cause they are multiplying faster than we can keep up. Screw a reunion, let's just call Dr. Phil!
Things begin with Kandi Burruss discussing Mama Joyce drama with her assistant/BFF Carmon. They're looking at wedding magazines, but they should have been looking at catalogs for mental hospitals!
Carmon is not happy that Joyce is slandering her all over town by spreading completely baseless rumors that Carmon is sleeping with Todd. All because Todd is hanging in some photos in Kandi's hallway. If I were Todd I would hang the photos of Mama Joyce in the basement – behind the water heater.
According to Kordell's attorney Porsha was threatening to stay a "Stewart" despite the divorce because her professional image was attached to the name, but she's now decided to take NeNe Leakes' advice and ditch the last name.
"Kordell was very concerned about the damage it could cause," TMZ reports, "however, she reconsidered and decided to restore her maiden name, Williams."
Kordell has adamantly denied them and no proof has ever surfaced confirming Slash's sexuality, but that didn't stop Porsha from airing her grievances and expressing her hurt. The man did slash their marriage on Twitter, after all!
The ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta are having serious family problems this year. Luckily for us they still manage to throw shade and keep up the witty commentary.
Phaedra Parks and Apollo are still having married people problems. Problems that come when one of said married persons chooses to possibly allegedly perhaps send illicit texts to a person whom they are not married to. Made even worse when the sext recipient is said wife's booticious enemy!
Phaedra and her entourage are headed to Alabama where she attends mortuary school and is studying for exams. Speaking of the dead, Phaedra leaves Apollo with dead silence since they are not speaking. In Phaedra's study group she talks all things Phunerals by Phaedra including that a good week for Willie Watkins has 15 funerals and she assists.
Phaedra is considerably more real this season; like she seems to be less of the contrived Miz Parks, Southern Belle-nonsense and more like, 'I'm about to bury my husband and forget to embalm his manbits!'
Oh the holidays. A time to reflect on all we are thankful for. And I suppose I'm thankful for all the crazies reality TV brings to my life. Better them than me, right?! It's also a time for the joy of giving. And reality stars have given us so much. So, so much insanity!
In order to show our appreciation to the fabulous famewhores who give our TVs life, we decided to promote some of the products they ceaselessly churn out!
Sometimes NeNe Leakes says the most ridiculous things, but her outlandish statements–a la "Close your legs to married men, WIG!"–are always spot on. The Real Housewives of Atlanta star is nothing if not honest…well, at least when it comes to hilariously calling out her co-stars.