Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap

NeNe Leakes

NeNe Leakes was on top of the world, but on last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta it all came tumbling down. Can NeNe ever be put back together again after her great fall?

NeNe is officially in a twitter war (and every other kind of war) with Kim Zolciak and Brielle Biermann. It’s gone beyond nasty into libel territory and Orkin definitely needs to exterminate this mess. It’s actually making me think less of two women, whom I’ve never managed to muster a decent opinion of in the first place. This is the magic of Bravo: nasty people behaving more badly. You can read all the details here.

NeNe & Sheree In Barcelona

It seems like eons since we last checked in on the Real Housewives Of Atlanta, and lo and behold, they’ve had a total personality transplant behind our backs. Maybe it was Porsha Williams‘s decision to leave Barcelona early after her fight with Marlo Hampton that brought this about? Or maybe it was the healing powers of The Great Tyrone. Juussst kidding!

The ladies are bailing on their crumbling moldy villa, which probably wouldn’t have bothered Kenya Moore of Moore Manor as she is apparently used to mildew, but the rest of these high society creatures, who’ve seen neither hide nor slithery legs of water bugs and vermin, cannot cope and defect to a five star hotel. They rejoice as if they’ve escaped prison.

Marlo Hampton

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, it was Porsha Williams who had a nervous breakdown in Barcelona, even though NeNe Leakes was the one battling demon ex-friends and roaches.

You would think after Kim Zolciak sent everyone – cast, crew, employee at the convenience store near NeNe’s house – a video supposedly showing roaches in NeNe’s bathroom, NeNe would be on a full-scale rampage. Instead she is calm and collected when she joins the ladies for brunch the next morning. It is everyone else who’s saltier than the hairy balls olives NeNe was scared to eat!

Porsha & Shamea in Barcelona

Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta were in Barcelona where the most exciting sight they saw were the roaches (errrr… “water bugs”) in NeNe Leakes bathroom. Hey, I guess it beats some lame sightseeing tour, right?! This was Cynthia Bailey‘s fault – they were supposed to be visiting a church but their wonderful hostess hauled them all the way there only to discover it was closed. So they had to make their own entertainment, and that is never a good thing.

So, Barcelona: beautiful weather, gorgeous phallic buildings, stunning culture… yet all the same drama. You can take the girls out of Atlanta, but you can’t take the Atlanta out of the girls. From the moment the women land on Spanish soil, there is bickering and shadiness.

Kim, Kroy & Sheree

Cynthia Bailey is wandering around red carpets crying with no shoes like she’s at the Jr. Prom, and Porsha Williams is being a peace-maker and starting a vegan cult. What is going on on Real Housewives Of Atlanta?!

Usually the pre-trip Real Housewives episode is a snooze, but last night was the opposite. Maybe it’s because so many episodes of RHOA have been interrupted for important real life events like Holidays and Super Bowls (the butt-implanted Uber driver of Kim Zolciak‘s heart must have watched it pining wistfully; gently touching the TV with his mitts while Kim screamed KROOOOOOOOY in a voice so shrill it could be heard in the next dimension, and then threw a wig over his dreams flatscreen. Kim needs her solo cup refilled – and she needs it NOW!).

Cynthia Bailey is sad about Will

What did Cynthia Bailey ever do to anybody? Other than be too much of a push over? Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was unbelievably messy and the poor unwitting target was Cynthia.

Attacking Cynthia is like smacking a bunny. Leave the girl alone to date and learn some tough-love lessons about getting played. Instead of bopping her on the head, her friends should pet her ever-changing wigs and tell her it will be OK. Clearly Cynthia habitually picks the WRONG men, and trying to teach her how to spot a scrub is not working. Even when she has a bonafide expert like Kandi Burruss at her disposal! 

RHOA Charity In Houston

It is the particular ability of Real Housewives to turn the doing of something good (or straightforward) into a giant diabolical mess of bickering, tantrums, and meltdowns. The Real Housewives Of Atlanta headed to Houston to do some charity work after the devastation of Hurricane Harvey but brought a new kind of devastation all of their own making. Thanks, but no thanks!

I don’t want to imply nothing of merit happened on this trip, but competing charity events in hurricane-destroyed towns, complete with all the accompanying Housewives histrionics, may be a new low. Possibly? Maybe I should try to be more positive and instead believe the ladies were so overcome with emotion from their good works and seeing people who lost everything that in turn they lost their heads? Naaaahhh.

Kim & NeNe

All them elephants eh? Well I guess Real Housewives Of Atlanta has turned into a circus, and the elephants are running things!

Sometimes I’m astounded by just how much crap RHOA is filled with. Like Porsha Williams – suddenly it’s her life-long dream to be an actress? I thought that was NeNe Leakes‘ dream? Anyway, now Porsha is doing a play, but it ain’t no Broadway, it’s some local theater but at least she gets to work with the greats like Vivica A Fox.