Well, Real Housewives Of Atlanta started out nicely, didn’t it? Of course, after Jesus fixed things up nice, it went straight down to hell in a hand basket over dinner! Get your prayer cloths and holy water to the fires, y’all!
I, for one, loved seeing Phaedra Parks and Kenya Moore get their glamour and their good intentions on to drive to Detroit in a vintage convertible, letting the shade fly out the window like one of Kenya’s alleged weaves. Phaedra and Kenya are about to spend a week roughing it with children affected by the Flint water crisis at summer camp.
Kenya Moore returns home from Charlotte, to find her house vandalized. It seems MattJordan is made of magic carpets, because after driving ALL night to Charlotte where he harassed Kenya at Club One, he turned right around and drove all night back to ATL to smash in Kenya’s garage windows, sprinkle (was that juice? blood? droplets of rage?), break her car window and her back door, and spray paint over her security cameras. Dang – hell hath no fury like a man scorned.
On the other side of the spectrum, freed from the clutches of one felonious fool, Phaedra Parks is happily clutching her pearls while smirking the good fortune that has fallen into her lap. Or into her law office, rather, and it’s not a bomb threat this time. And Porsha Williams continues her travels backwards in maturity by sneaking her boyfriend into her mom’s house for a little late-night nookie (with Yoni balls).
For some odd reason Cynthia Bailey decides to have a ‘Starting Over’ party in the office of a boob doctor and have her implants checked for an expiration date. The ladies of Real Housewives have done a lot of weird things in a plastic surgeon’s office, and they’ve had a lot weird versions of starting over/Tru-Renwal parties, but this one was by far the strangest. The whole cast showed up, dressed to the nines, to cram into a little exam room, screech over Cynthia’s boobs, and then watch the doctor diagnose them unevenly hard, but still usable. Not a very dignified way to start over.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, no one was feeling the love – well, except for Porsha Williams! She got all the love everyone else lost. Does that make up for Kordell locking her out of the house, then throwing away the key?
To prepare for the reality that she finally found a boyfriend who actually wants to be with her, and sensing the possibility that she could really, truly have kids some day, Porsha dresses up in all her fancy clothes to babysit Phaedra Parks‘ sons. After the stress of the bomb threat, Phaedra deserves a night out. Personally, letting Porsha babysit sounds like the blind leading the blind. Ayden and Dylan are actually way smarter than Porsha and ran amok over her.
There was so much crazy on this episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Breaking up was in the air… and so was the awful stench of Mama Joyce‘s desperation. When is this show getting new producers?
After Phaedra Parks‘ office received a so-called bomb threat, she called in 10,000 Strong (The Nation Of Islam) for a little lesson in self defense without showing your slip. Everybody knows… actions speak louder than words, and your words should be killing them with kindness like a bee trapped in honey! Everybody also knows it’s better to be safe than sorry!
Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta blew things up – pun intended! – from imploding relationships, to actual bomb threats, and in between, a political message.
Phaedra Parks is headed to the DNC, accompanied by Porsha Williams. Porsha explains that politics is in her blood because her grandfather was legendary civil rights leader Hosea Williams. Are we sure they’re related? I mean, Porsha thought the underground railroad was Atlanta’s mysterious subway which transported people to a safe-haven called The Mall Of America.
Don’t talk about Kandi Burruss‘ mama or try to take her food. Just in case you weren’t aware! On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, the ladies tried to come together for good, but first they had to be bad.
Crossing enemy territory and waving the white – or peach – flag of surrender, Phaedra Parks invites Kenya Moore to tea. Both wielding tongues like fruit knives, they exchanged barely-veiled barbs dipped in honey and stirred with hot milk to soothe the pain. But then Phaedra invited Kenya to be part of her efforts to send kids from Flint, Michigan, to summer camp through the Phaedra Phoundation.