And of course, tacked onto the very tail end was the astounding revelation that, for some God-forsaken reason, Jesus, or possibly the devil put it into Phaedra Parks‘ prayer cloth that she should start a totally baseless rumor that Kandi Burruss is a secret lesbian menage-a-trois stalker who plotted to drug and rape Porsha Williams. Yep – fun times in libel-land from everybody’s favorite lawless lawyer!
Apparently earlier this year, Phaedra told poor, innocent, unsuspecting (Ha!) Porsha this lurid tale, then sat back on her donkey booty through the entire season to watch as Porsha defended herself and kept Phaedra’s confidences. And never, ever, not once, did Phaedra utter a word that it was SHE who started this rumor about Kandi. I’m sure Phaedra will handily dismiss it as “shade,” or something she heard ‘on the streets,’ then swat it away with her handbag, give herself a spritz of holy water then waltz into the church pew for some restoration. Except honey-butt: NO – you have burned the place down. Call Willie Watkins and fire up the band cause this big, ole fraudulent lie was your Phuneral By Phaedra!
What can be said about the Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion except that everyone hates each other? In Part 2, Andy Cohen put on his “compassion” mask, to make faces more concerned than usual, because the main topic was relationships. And on this show ain’t none of them going well!
My favorite thing was learning that Phaedra’s middle name is “Creonta!” GIRL, hi! Actually Girl HEEEELLLLOOO! What a name?! And then Phaedra names her sons Dylan and Ayden – like the two most normal little boy names ever? HA.
Part one of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta began with a preclude of the explosive drama at the end … which left me feeling like ‘yada, yada, yada… ‘ about everything else and wishing I could fast forward through the “Many Wigs Of Phaedra Parks” to just get to the crying, sobbing, hysterical meltdowns. In the meantime everybody is “sitting on ready” as they bicker about African princes, Apollo and Kenya Moore, and My Mansion’s better than your mansion…
Haven’t we already talked about all of this? Does time stand still in RHOA land?
AnywayAndy Cohen stuffed our Easter Baskets with golden eggs from rich Africans, construction refuge from Moore Manor and Chateau Sheree, and the easter grass was shredded legal documents. And just to be clear Porsha Williams reunion look is channeling Halle Berry, not Kandi Burruss circa season 2.
Last night was the season finale of a very, well, bizarre season of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Thankfully we didn’t relive Lesbian-Gate – we’re saving that for the reunion – but we did witness the official end of Phaedra Parks and Kandi Burruss‘ friendship. Something else happened… Something big, I think… Oh what was it? Hmmmm… OH! Chateau Sheree. Yep, it’s up and running. Almost.
Let’s be honest – the only thing any of us remember from last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta is that Apollo Nida‘s prison fiancé Sherien Almufti appeared at the opening of the OLG Restaurant – and she’s everything a villainess side-chick should be. The worst (or maybe best) is that Phaedra Parks conveniently wasn’t even there to see her!
But first all the drama that came before.Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker – two control-freaks don’t make a restaurant! The OLG Restaurant is weeks away from officially opening and $100,000 over-budget, but Todd will not accept any help. He is the little man that could … and with his big forehead he thinks he can sneak traffic cone orange chairs right under Kandi’s nose. She is not impressed by his Todd: Party Of One attitude.
Case in point, Todd refuses to allow Don Juan or Carmon to help make decisions, even though there are no uniforms and the logo hasn’t been finalized with less than 24 hours before their soft opening for friends, family and television cameras. And don’t even get Kandi started on how the floor is so dusty it looks like it belongs inside Chateau Sheree!
After conquering LA with her Cargo collection, Cynthia is ready to take on Atlanta – America’s fashion mecca. Let’s be honest though, the real person Cynthia needs to impress is Sheree Whitfield. THE elegant and sophisticated fashion pioneer behind the infamous and influential She By Sheree. Big leagues!
Kairo has modeling dreams so as a favor to build his portfolio Cynthia asked him to walk in her show. Kairo dead-eye shuffles like he’s auditioning for The Walking Dead and is carrying his former human life in that mock-croc backpack. Sheree is the only one impressed, and she’s the only one unimpressed that Kairo’s only compensation is a measly bag. Even though most of the models aren’t even getting that.
I gotta say Phaedra really disappointed me. Usually I’d see Kenya as the cartoon cheetah in this scenario, but last night it was sooo Phaedra! One thing about this trip to Maui was that that the ladies really shed their facades and let their guards down for a change.
The episode opens with Kenya and Phaedra playing tennis, bantering as they batted balls – badly – back and forth. Kenya seems hopeful that she and Phaedra are on their way to a real friendship, but Phaedra is still content to keep things at a distance. Although she’s glad she and Kenya aren’t having drama like everyone else. DUH – DUH -DUH… that’s some horror movie foreshadowing right there! Especially when Phaedra mentions, again, that she doesn’t quite trust Kenya (or any of these girls) with the status of her divorce.
The problem is Porsha told a lie. She told a really damning and smearing lie. While lying is no new thing to this show (and it is amusing that Kenya Moore, who has told more falsehoods than Pinocchio, is the most enraged about Porsha’s lie), Porsha has told a lie that could potentially have legal ramifications or ruin Kandi’s reputation. The worst though is that Porsha doesn’t seem bothered by that, and doesn’t seem to get how bad this is. Nor does she seem bothered that Kandi is so upset. Which is especially disconcerting considering that Porsha and Kandi were once close friends.