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Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap


On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, the ladies promised and swore to turn over a new leaf after their moving experience in the South African orphanage, but alas their epiphany was brief and insincere.

After seeing the heartbreaking poverty of the children of the orphanage, the ladies sit down to dinner at their five-star resort to reflect on how privileged their lives are. They have “beautiful homes, beautiful fashions, a lotta labels,” Phaedra points out. Phaedra’s speech about appreciation was tailor made for Marlo, I see. Bespoke, if you will. Too bad Marlo was focusing on something being wrong with her plate instead of contemplating the day. Everyone promises to put future petty squabbles into perspective and approach situations in a more adult manner. Kandi is the first to speak up with a a ‘yeah right!’

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Last night on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, it was a totally Kim-free episode as the other ladies toured the bush of South Africa. They laughed, they danced, they sang, they did charity work – I know, shockingly that all actually happened! They also made snide comments and embarrassed themselves, but hey it’s better than a screaming match!

Things began at the tale end of the epic showdown between two ladies desperate to prove each one is the lesser gold digging, wannabe living off a sugar daddy’s dime. It is much to everyone’s surprise, including Kandi‘s that NeNe intervenes and basically pries these two crazy ladies apart. As NeNe herds Marlo up the stairs, still clutching her omnipresent mimosa, she scolds Sheree on remaining calm and letting it go.

Afterwards everyone shakes it off and proceeds on to their respective dinner engagements. Well, almost everyone NeNe and Cynthia looked like they both wanted to catch the first bus out of there! Sheree arrives at her friend Kevin’s dinner party where he is excited to see the ladies and has planned a lot of exceptional entertainment for the evening. I can see why it would be impractical for Sheree to invite three more people last minute but she should have approached it a different way. Seriously, couldn’t a Bravo producer make copies of Marlo‘s etiquette book and pass it around to the entire traveling group? At Kevin’s the ladies are treated to some amazing fire dancing, flirting with danger indeed. That is pretty much the theme of this entire trip!

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta left NeNe Leakes and myself completely speechless. I dare say that was the oddest, craziest and most bizarre fight in Housewives history! Poor South Africa didn’t deserve this. Also, for self-proclaimed etiquette expert Marlo it’s a long way to the top if you want to be a socialite!

Arriving in South Africa the ladies brought the wild to the safari. Chalk it up to jet lag if you will. Lord the one liners in this episode are PRICELESS! After some super annoying Blair Witch Project footage of the women flying coach with no make up, they land in the airport, where much drama with the luggage ensues.

Apparently no one with the title “Housewives of Atlanta” can go on a ten-day trip with less than ten bags, so everyone is pushing these ENORMOUS luggage carts around the airport. Louis Vuitton is probably issuing a cease and desist letter right about now – either that or filing a defamation of character suit after this episode.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim got ready for Kroy to leave for training camp and the rest of the ladies planned their trip to South Africa! NeNe decided to really stir up the drama by sneak inviting Marlo, and telling nary a soul, but Cynthia. And, oh my, were the ladies surprised, but not thrilled when Marlo joined them at the departure gate!

Things begin at Marlo‘s house, and ok, call me crazy, but I love the decor and the color scheme. NeNe is impressed that Marlo read Kim and Kandi the riot act at Cynthia‘s agency opening and definitely didn’t back down. On the tour, NeNe discovers Marlo has a full security system installed in her house, which she can monitor from her bedroom! Who is she, Drita D’avanzio? Is she mistressed to the mob in secret?

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta it was all about roots. Phaedra decided to plan a cast trip to Africa so the ladies could learn about their ancestry and Kim and NeNe met face to face for the first time in months and decided it should probably be the last.

Things start out with Kim hauling her infant to the gun range. Safety first! Kroy has decided Kim should learn how to shoot and get a gun. I guess she sometimes has to deal with a rampant moose. At first Kim is nervous, but then she gets into being a pistol packin’ mama! Kim gets a pink 9mm and while she doesn’t love having a gun, she’s into getting something pink. Next I am sure she will wrangle a LV gun case.

Cynthia and Peter are meeting Apollo and Phaedra for a double date to work things out following the husband’s altercation at Kim’s babyshower. Phaedra declares it is a “powder in your panties” kinda day, basically a typical hot summer day in the south. God I love southern summers. And friction, what friction? Because everyone is getting along great.

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was all about changes, forgiveness and getting what you deserve. Sheree pulled a Tamra Barney and threw a drink on her ex-husband, Phaedra and Kandi begged forgiveness something desperate from Mama Joyce, who is both livid and embarrassed that reDICKulous appeared last week. Oh yeah, and we met Marlo Hampton. She has a husky voice I wasn’t expecting!

Things start out with everybody’s favorite southern bell doing a stop and drop apology by bringing Kandi an ‘I shouldn’ t have invited a disgusting porny stripper to your birthday party in front of your mama’ cake. Phaedra’s been giving out a lot of “I’m sorry” gifts lately, hasn’t she? According to Kandi her mama is still mad and won’t answer the phone!

The ladies are still confused that NeNe “former stripper” Leakes flew the coop without even saying good-bye. Apparently she couldn’t locate Kandi in the crowd since she took her eyeballs out. Phaedra is especially perplexed given that NeNe used to show her cervix for a quarter back in the day. Um, I’m pretty sure she was a stripper not a gynecological test subject, Phae!

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, things got ridiculous in a big way. I mean big. It was a penis spectacular as the talk was of men, circumcision and some of Phaedra’s more eccentric clients (and I don’t mean Bobbi Brown!). Thank goodness for censorship bars!

Things start out with Phaedra begging Kim’s forgiveness for the baby shower blow out between Peter and Apollo. Kim succinctly tells us that next time ex-cons and ass holes are off the guest list! Phaedra comes a calling with a huge gift and is instantly forgiven – she could have told Kim Kroy was to blame so long as she brought a present. Ok, actually Phaedra apologized — admitting she was embarrassed by Apollo — and Kim accepted. There’s apparently been no word and NO retail apology from Cynthia despite her geriatric husband acting crazy. The ladies talk labor and Phaedra was as crazy as a vampire in sunlight. Love it!

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta the husbands brought the catty as the wives instigated from afar. Kim had a wedding prequel in the form of her baby shower and Sheree started work on her new job building her dream house and I’m counting down the minutes until foreclosure.

Sheree arrives at the building site for Chateau Sheree to watch the demo of the original house built in 1975, practically before she was born. Really Sheree? Someone needs to check you, Boo! BTW: nice “workboots.” Poor Sheree tells us that overseeing the construction of her new home is so much work it’s like a another job – as if she needs one! Leaving all of us to wonder what exactly are Sheree’s other jobs? Being a Housewife? Divorce settlements? Sheree makes sure the contractor has her list of “necessities,” which include: a ballroom with skating rink, a DJ booth, a massage parlor and a library or liberry – even though she doesn’t read. Hopefully she can read the notices of foreclosure that I anticipate will be arriving shortly! Kidding, kidding… only sort of…

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