Really, we could skip all the other parts and go straight to that, because it’s the only part that really truly matters. It went a little like this: Marlo walks out, rocking pin-straight hair and a dress with shoulders constructed from a bathmat (Project Runway challenge?). She sat down, said no one liked her once she became friends with NeNe Leakes, copped to her charges, denied having her bills paid by Mr. Ted Turner, confirmed she still had a lot of work to do learning etiquette, and then she came out with it. Kim, you’re a whore! Apparently this was in response to something Kim said on the show about Marlo being an escort (which is all but proven fact at this point) with a large ladyhole. All class, no trash!
Frankly, I couldn’t believe it. Marlo just came out and said it – ‘Oh, I think we’re cut from the same cloth… you know, cheap polyester, maybe nylon – oh, wait no… No, we’re not. I’m cut from 10-ply cashmere and you – you’re a whore. You’re just some cheap acrylic. Google my charges! Cause prison uniforms are totally made from luxurious fibers.’
Marlo had it all planned out – she was practically reading a script NeNe had written for her and handily printed up on Gucci stationary; except I really don’t think NeNe was involved in this – nor Bravo, for once – I think Marlo acted as the lone honey badger. Vicious, crazy, and totally entertaining in a sadistic way. That being said – she needs to leave the show. And really, really study that etiquette manual. Like, non-stop. And Kim should be her study partner.
So, Marlo prances out and somehow gets into a screaming fight with Kim about who’s a whore and who’s an escort. It turns out that now that Kim is married, she’s neither a whore nor an escort and that whole Big Poppa charade never happened. Seriously- anytime anyone brings it up she points to her ring and says she’s a married woman now. Ok, but like Marlo said, she used to be a home-wrecking harlot flaunting it on TV and loving every minute of it; waving that big ol’ rock around! So she was basically a whore, but really Marlo: Pot meet Kettle.
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So, last night was the first segment of the so-called “epic” Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. I have to admit, reunions are so hard to recap, because really I can barely decipher what the women are talking about and I usually have to watch on closed captioning; A) because there’s too much screaming and B) because I can never grasp the she said-from-she said through the screaming – particularly where NeNe Leakes is involved. That being said, NeNe’s slamming of Sheree Whitfieldwas epic indeed! The theme of last night’s show-down was apparently “finances,” specifically who has them and who doesn’t. And does Sheree really have several storage units full of furniture or did she steal that storyline from Kim?
Before we start recapping anything, let’s discuss my personal most shocking moment of last night’s spectacle. Sheree Whitfield of She by Shebroke announced that She by Sheree—her failed clothing experiment, that consisted of a fashion show with no clothes and the owing of $30,000 to Dwight Eubanks for photocopies—is staging a revival. As in, She by Sheree is not dead, but merely on hiatus and we can expect more where that came from. Is she serious? She by Sheree?! As in, worse clothes than Alexis Couture! As in, NO ONE ON THIS EARTH is buying them. Ok, now that I got that off my chest, let’s commence with this recap, shall we…
Last night opened with a fight to end all fights: do former strippers have the right to be disgusted by dildos? Are all former strippers supposed to be ok with the usage and discussion of dildos, ding-a-lings, and vajayjays? Are these women really and truly adults or is this a ruse Andy Cohen is attempting to fool us with before bringing out the real adult women?
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The last two seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta have focused on NeNe Leakes marital issues, separation, and potential divorce from husband Gregg Leakes. Unfortunately, many suspected that NeNe and Gregg were creating the marital drama for ratings and a storyline!
This season NeNe was seen receiving elaborate gifts and “dating” sugar daddy, John Kolaj, as she wrestled with signing her divorce papers on film, citing she wasn’t ready to officially end her marriage. Even more confusing was the fact that NeNe and Gregg were seen together out and about several times over the last year when their marriage was supposedly in jeopardy and on the brink of divorce. It was to everyone’s surprise that in last week’s finale episode Bravo announced NeNe was officially divorced! When did that happen? And did it really?
The internet has been abuzz with questions about whether or not NeNe and Gregg’s marriage is actually over—or if it was a Bravo fabricated storyline with the two remaining in marital bliss behind the scenes. After all, last year NeNe was allegedly supposed to receive her own spin-off; which would focus on her single life and entry into the dating pool after fifteen years of marriage. Obviously that never happened—and many believed it was because NeNe was actually still very much a Mrs. and the couple wouldn’t go through with ending their marriage for a pay raise. Apparently, they have officially called it quits and the divorce is indeed a done deal.
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Fans of Real Housewives of Atlanta have been disappointed by this season – even with the addition of Mugshot Marlo Hampton (that girl’s autobiography could easily be titled My Life In Mugshots: A History of Marlo Hampton’s Adventures With The Law)! While the season was lackluster – I blame NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak‘s never gonna be repaired friendship; the reunion was apparently out of control!
While, I do believe nothing could have topped last season’s horrendous Real Housewives of New Jersey showdown; RHOA made a solid effort to dismantle the reigning champion of shocking reunions and the fights were epic!
Since none of the ladies are actually friends anymore, they wasted no time in getting nasty and vitriolic. According to WetPaint, whose source was present at the taping of the event, “It was a whole day of fighting, yelling and accusation-throwing. Everyone was worn out by the time it wrapped.”
Things started getting heated with NeNe and Kim. NeNe shockingly announced “I’m divorced!;” when her former bestie tried to call her out for dating while married (who could forget the “Close your legs to married men,” argument?).
In other outrageous incidents, Sheree Whitfield and NeNe–who started out the season with a bang–went head-to-head in a screaming match. The two continued their heated debate over NeNe’s finances–she’s very rich, remember–and Sheree tried to throw NeNe off her guard by announcing that any money earned from appearing on Celebrity Apprentice goes straight to charity. NeNe checked that boo by announcing she’s richer than She by Shebroke she is spiritually rich!
Not surprising, was Marlo battled every last one of The Smalls! Marlo was only present for a limited segment of the reunion, but the woman came with a vengeance and refused to keep her comments to herself! “Marlo’s M.O. was obvious,” the source explains. “She wants desperately to become a Housewife, so she was trying to show the producers she could really bring it in terms of drama.”
“In her normal fashion, Marlo was throwing out accusations right and left,” the source reveals. “She picked fights with everyone except Nene and Cynthia [Bailey].”
“But she sunk really low when she went after Kandi [Burruss], making all sorts of mean accusations about Kandi’s sex life,” the source reports. “Kandi was livid. It looked like she wanted to throttle Marlo.”
Despite Marlo’s attempts to prove she’s relevant, producers still don’t seem to be biting. “No one thinks they’re going to offer her a bigger role, though,” the source asserts. “Fans don’t seem to like her.” Adding to the speculation that she will be a one-season extra, Marlo has only had one Bravo blog all season (despite being embroiled in plenty of hot drama) and has never made an appearance on Watch What Happens Live.
In other RHOA news, NeNe continues to conquer Hollywood! After a successful role on Glee as sassy swim coach Roz, NeNe has been offered a role in Ryan Murphy‘s newest comedy pilot, The New Normal about a blended family composed of a gay couple and their surrogate. NeNe will have a heavily recurring role as Rocky, according to Deadline.com.
The cast includes a whole host of stars, including David Lyons and Vampire Diaries’ Trent Ford. NeNe’s increasing emergence into the world of acting–you know, in shows where acting is supposed to happen vs. shows where the characters pretend to be real– has many questioning if this season is to be her last as a Housewife. NeNe has revealed that she has no interest in a spin-off for Bravo and she has been increasingly checked out of the action all season!
Finally, some gossip that’s–quite frankly–delicious, but not entirely reliable. MediaTakeOut is reporting that Sheree’s daughter, Tierra has eloped with long-time boyfriend Damon!
According to their source, while Damon was seen asking Sheree for permission AND planning the proposal, the two were more than ready to get engaged – and what we saw on camera was all an act! Remember, Damon told Sheree he had already spoken to Bob Whitfield about asking for Tierra’s hand in marriage!
Unfortunately, the brief time he spent planning with Sheree scared the crap out of him and Damon started to get cold feet. He reportedly believed Tierra may have some secret gold digging ways of her own that had been kept in hiding all these years.
Apparently, the couple worked past their issues, and allegedly ELOPED last moth. Without inviting Sheree to the wedding – or letting her know of their plans! Bravo is reportedly furious at the turn of events, as they were planning to film the wedding and were promised the access. They’re now trying to recreate the wedding to fabricate a storyline.
I find that last part dubious, as filming has already ended for this season (unless they were trying to throw the wedding scene in last-minute, as they did with Pandora Todd‘s nuptials) and season five contracts have definitely not been signed. Many rumors have circulated that this will be Sheree’s last season with the show as she pretty much has nothing to offer. Perhaps Tierra’s wedding was a last-ditch effort to grab producer’s attention so she would have a storyline next season.
We’ll keep you posted on the updates concerning Tierra and Damon! Sheree has not commented on the news, yet!
ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE REUNION? DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE MARLO BACK NEXT SEASON? SURPRISED BY THE NEWS OF TIERRA AND DAMON’S ALLEGED ELOPEMENT – DO YOU BELIEVE IT?