Alright, I hate to break it to you wonderful readers, but this is going to be a brief-cap. As you well know, Real Housewives of New Jersey premiered last night, and as this was the final segment of the three-part train wreck known as the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion and I think we’ve said all there is to say. So, let’s break down the important parts!
- So, is Kandi Burruss a sugar mama? Marlo Hampton seems to think so! And not only that, but she seems to think it’s her business to announce to the world that Kandi’s man lives with her. Well, I mean that’s called being in a committed relationship, you know: getting serious, not paying for sex, moving in together, going on actual dates in public, marriage… But I guess an escort/mistress wouldn’t know that, would she?. Kandi seems to think telling people her man drives a Range Rover proves she’s not a sugar mama. Kandi, yeah, labels don’t mean anything – just ask Marlo!
- Marlo apparently earns money from all her haters. They take up a We Hate Marlo collection and just give it to her to fund her “labels”? So – can you guys do that for me? I need some new clothes – preferably ones made by Louwee VooTAWN.
- So, Cynthia Bailey spoke after Andy Cohen slipped her a note telling her to fire up those vocal chords or get fired! Apparently, no one can get over the fact that Cynthia acts differently with a friend than she does with her co-workers and acquaintances. Much to do was made over the fact that Cynthia changes her spots for stripes when she leaves the giraffes for the zebras. Well, I really don’t think it’s that odd to act differently around people you know well, but I guess that’s why I’m not on a reality show. Personally, I don’t find Cynthia to be fake or confrontational with anyone. Nevertheless, Cynthia leaps right on into a screaming match with Kim Zolciak about how fake she supposedly is and how as soon as she gets near NeNe Leakes she grows a pair of ovaries.
- Proving that she speaks her mind, Cynthia calls Kim out on being a mistress! Cause, you know, it is what it is… Kim claims that Big Poppa was legally separated and you can date when you are separated. Except, Big Poppa is STILL not divorced – that’s the part she conveniently left out!
- Cynthia, Marlo, and Kandi have distracting hair, that was probably not the best choice for the given environment. They keep flipping it over their shoulders and playing with it while trying to scream at people.
- Marlo said she made it rain in South Africa because she knew She by SheBroke needed some money. Kandi snarked that she collected all those wasted bills to give to her man. Burn!
- Sheree‘s greatest arguments are revisited. Who gon’ check me boo reigns supreme in my mind. Kim’s wigs have really um… gotten much more voluminous, haven’t they? And much tackier and trashier. First season they looked cute-ish, albeit a little cheap and matted. Now they look well… really fake and super cheap. What happened? Too much microwaving. Apparently, Kim and Sheree’s friendship has managed to survive call girl comments and wig pulls, because they are genuine and Sheree has never hit below the belt. Never really hit below the belt? If my friend called me a “call girl” on national TV, I would be preeeetty furious.
- Kim informs us that despite what she told us, NeNe doesn’t have a penis. Whew! Good think she cleared that up!
- Andy is still desperate for NeNe and Kim to be BFF again and return this show to its former splendor. Look, Andy – we all want that, but they are both too egotistical and it’s not gonna work out. Sorry. NeNe and Kim discuss their friendship for the umpteenth time. Both ladies are happy in their respective lives and are supportive of each other. Humbleness still eludes NeNe.
- NeNe reveals that she brought Sheree and Kim to the attention of the producers and apparently NeNe convinced producers to hire Sheree because they initially thought she was too boring. And apparently, NeNe is willing to help Sheree out again – but unfortunately she is playing for the wrong team. Nothing like a little blackmail! <> And here come the rumors that NeNe got She by SheFired, well, fired!
And that’s it! We’re done with another season of RHOA!
THOUGHTS ON THE FINAL PART OF THE REUNION? ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT NEXT SEASON OR ARE YOU OVER THIS SHOW? WHO WILL QUIT FIRST: NENE OR KIM?