Aaaahhh… Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There comes a time in every recappers tenure when she is just beyond blown away by what appeared before them on the screen. And taking one's mother-in-law to Hustler and grinding on them has knocked me over.
Carlton Gebbia takes her hubby David along with her mother-in-law to Hustler to choose lingerie for her "playroom". Listen – I mean the storyline is gross as is, but you couldn't pick a classier place than Hustler?
Carlton is like thongs – no big – my mum-in-law has pulled babies out my vagina. Then she proceeds to educate MIL on what "DTF" means and huffs the F— word in the ladies face like she's going to vampire her. This is a preclude to the main event where Carlton puts on a teeny-tiny bikini and drops it like it's hot on her MIL's lap. Apparently her MIL accepts Carlton because David loves her. David needs inpatient therapy.
If you thought Carlton Gebbia's sexcapades have been bad in previous weeks ("girlfriend kiss", flirting with the nanny, and of course "mommy and daddy's playroom") – this week will surely get your panties in a bunch!
Trying to push Brandi Glanville off her throne as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' most controversial Housewife, Carlton takes her husband and her mother-in-law shopping at a lingerie store and proceeds to give ol' mummy dearest a little action! Carlton, seriously – don't try so hard!
Yolanda Foster's former husband Mohamed Hadid couldn't bear the thought of Lisa's remaining swan feeling lonely in its pond, so he bought it another companion. Lisa was clearly thrilled, but no one was more excited than Giggy!
In her new Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blog Brandi says she is done apologizing. Which leads me to wonder if Brandi knows the difference between apologizing and justifying because I don't much remember her apologizing to begin with!
To prove that she is like so over being sorry-ish, Brandi posted a slew of family photos on twitter of her mom, dad, and grandma flipping off all the "haters". We can suck it, says Miss. Sorry, Not Sorry!
"As of today I have a new outlook. No more feeling sorry for myself because I had a rough year or some pathetic, phony famewh— can't stop talking about me and throwing bulls— labels my way," Brandi begins, again blaming Joyce Giraud for her behavior. #SomePeopleNeverLearn
You know, there are problems, and then there are serious, earth-shattering problems. Guess which category this gossip falls into, will you?
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump didn't have the merriest of Christmases after one of her petssome yard art a portion of her living Twelve Days of Christmas display went missing. Just kidding, it was totally a pet…maybe?
Taking to her Bravo blog, she begins, "Burlesque room…I am sooo excited to do this surprise room for my husband. Our home is so open plan with very few doors, so not much room for privacy with our kiddies. With this room at least we are home, but safely locked away downstairs. I want it to have a burlesque feel with a platform, as David loves to watch me dance so this would be perfect. Years ago I used to dance (ballet and modern mainly). I love to make our relationship fun and sexy, and, 18 years later, I think we've done a pretty good job."
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills starKim Richards is going to be a mother-in-law! Kim's oldest daughter, Brooke Brinson, got engaged on Christmas! Brooke's long time beau Thayer Wiederhorn popped the question and she said yes!
Brooke gushed on Instagram, showing off the beautiful ring (see the close-up below), "BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER. I get to marry my best friend and the man of my dreams! I love you @twiederd!"
Kim also shared the happy news on her own page, "What an Amazing Christmas! My BABY GIRL is getting MARRIED! & I couldn't ask a for better Son-In-Law! I LOVE YOU BOTH! & Wish you ALL the HAPPINESS in the WORLD! @brookebrinson @twiederd".
Joyce starts off on Yolanda's dinner party, "At the very beginning of the episode we see Yolanda saying "I'm almost 50 years old. We don't do teams. She then adds: "We are not in high school." Wouldn't it be great if she could keep her word. . . Yolanda says she wanted to go out of her way to make her dinner beautiful — and she did prepare a dinner with fantastic food, a stunning setting, and excellent performers." She circles back to these words later in her blog.