Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is brought you by Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors." And it also confirmed two things I've long suspected: 1) Househusbands are like fleas when it comes to the series; unwelcome guests that just annoy the hell out of us and should stay home (I'm looking at you, Mauricio "Maurice" Umansky) and 2) One should never, ever, ever attend a party thrown by SplitsRichards. Lets just all stick to parties at Yolanda Foster's from now on. I mean, Babs might attend!
Things begin with Scheana Marie Famewhore putting on her best "I feel so sad and ashamed" face that she's been practicing in the mirror for weeks in anticipation of her big ol' TV debut. Unfortunately Scheana feels about as bad about squashing Brandi Glanville's marriage as she did squashing the spider she found in her bathroom last week.
Brandi, on the other hand, is still totally not over Douche King Eddie Cibrian and she narrows her eyes looks right at Scheana and hisses that he's probably cheating on ol' crazy noodles LeAnn Rimes right now. Scheana's eyes get wide, she starts to look nervous, and then Brandi – all 35 feet of her – stands up, looks down at her and breezes out. Scheana does a quick vital signs assessment, realizes she's in one piece, and then runs out as fast as her shaky legs can carry her.
Brandi breezes into the Office de Vanderpump for a counseling session and a glass of much needed rosé. I need rosé on tap too. Lisa Vanderpump – hook a girl up!
New Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Marisa Zanuck is getting quite the initiation. Her intro to the group happened during one of Kyle Richards' infamous dinner parties. The dessert on the menu is rarely the edible kind, but it is always the lipsmackingly ridiculous and scandalous kind!
"I remember leaving the dinner very surprised at all the conflict that had developed in the past few months," Marisa shares. During yoga "I was trying to listen to Kyle and process what she was saying but found it hard to focus on all of the accusations and suppositions that didn't involve me. I like to have fun and so does Kyle. I know it is hard for Kyle to be in the middle of all the drama, she is much more in her element when she is having a good time."
NeNe Leakes cleans up nice! The Real Housewives of Atlanta star hit up the NBC Universal Golden Globes After Party last night lookin' classy as ever in Carolina Herrera. We think she knocked it out of the park with this look!
Nene was Tweeting her nervousness over the situation. Yes, our NeNe had a major case of the nerves! "Catch me on the red carpet tomorrow @ The Golden Globes! Imma little nervous abt all the judging." She was in awe of the whole situation, which was really sweet! "My eyes were watering on the red carpet wit excitement & forgot I had on fake eye lashes! Oh Lawd".
It's a small world when it comes to reality television…even smaller when you're talking about Beverly Hills. Everything seems to overlap, and the same is true when talking about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Those two are all over the place!
Of course, pimp momager Kris Jenner wants to make sure she still has the upper hand when it comes to taking care of her favorite daughter, and she's going to make sure she gets her way. Also interesting is how everyone's favorite househusband helped the couple secure their new home. We'll also hear from one of their uber famous soon-to-be neighbors.
Last season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills viewers saw Adrienne Maloof and her family wrestle with the decision to move their NBA team the Sacramento Kings to a new city where they could get a state-of-the-art arena built for less money.
But now, according to Yahoo! Sports, the family is thisclose to negotiating a deal to SELL the team to Seattle for an estimated $500 Million dollars!
The deal is still unsigned but is expected to go through although it will take "some time" to reach a formal agreement. The new investor group, which includes hedge-fund manager Chris Hansen and Microsoft chairman Steve Ballmer, is allegedly wary because of the Maloof's history of bailing on negotiations at the last minute.
Last year the Maloofs were very close to finalizing a deal to build the new Sacramento arena before canceling at the very last minute!
I can hear my mom's words of wisdom echoing in my ears…"If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you!" Granted, I've never cheated with–or on–anyone (but, well, there was high school. Does that count?), but it's advice that totally translates into the grown-up world. However, can we technically call LeAnn Rimes an adult? She's constantly tearlessly crying in interviews about never having the opportunity to be a child, so perhaps she's regressed. Regardless, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville is likely smug upon hearing this latest gossip.
A quick breakdown (as if y'all need it): Brandi's husband Eddie Cibrian cheated on her with SUR waitress Scheana Marie Jancan (that is no one's given name!). When Eddie then cheated with LeAnn, Scheana went to the press to complain about how heartbroken she was when her affair ended because Eddie found another mistress. High five, Brandi! You came out on top of this cluster for sure!
I don't know about you, but I find it very fishy that this news is coming to light way after it acutally happened. Funny how Bravo is trying to promoteLisa Vanderpump's(love her!) new show Vanderpump Rules on which Scheana plays a bullied, overly sexed, wannabe pop star waitress…It's what publicity stunts are made of, right?
Gracious though, when you read Sheana's interview, which occurred after her sit-down with Brandi, you'll shake your head and wonder if she has a publicist. Sheana is still taking shots at Brandi while playing the victim. Um, I'm sorry. I don't care how horrid the woman was whose husband you were bedding, you're still the other woman. She can call you names, and she can be mean to you. You slept with her husband! I'm speaking to Scheana in first person because she strikes me as the type of fame hungry girl that will read every blog written about her. Scheana, I'm not hating, I'm just trying to give you some sincere feedback. Oh, and by the way, NEVER record that breathy porn song you sang on Vanderpump Rules. The world, and iTunes, sends their thanks.
I always wanted a sister, and maybe that's why it is so heartbreaking for me to see the demise of Kim Richards and Kyle "Splits" Richards relationship on the past and present seasons of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Check that. If I'd had a sister, there is no question we would fight like cats and dogs (I'm feisty!). However, no imaginary sister of mine would have been cool enough in my younger years to carry Disney's Witch Mountain franchise. Furthermore, had I been blessed with two sisters, the lesser known, but very flexible one could never have pulled off starring along side Bette Davis in the freaky Watcher In The Woods. NERAK!
I realize that I often reference this movie when discussing Splits, but it's amazing. I'd tell you to Redbox it, but you probably need to find your local dying Blockbuster to locate it and see Splits in all of her supernatural glory. I feel like knowing the Richards sisters' past makes me more cognizant of their present. A sober Kim is clearly ridding herself of the demons that found her playing the teenage breadwinner, and Kyle is still uber-jealous that her older sister was the breakout child star. I should stop playing arm chair psychiatrist and get on with the post, right? My apologies.
Thankfully, now that the season we're currently watching has wrapped, everything seems to be much better with the Richards sisters. Thank goodness. Their family drama was painful to endure…at best!