Brandi Glanville apologized to Adrienne Maloof for surrogate-gate, because she doesn’t want it to be “awkward” when they run into each other. Uh-huh. We all know Brandi’s ulterior motive is that she needs to get to Adrienne before Lisa Vanderpump gets to her! This apology, where Brandi subtly attempted to drop hints to Adrienne that she was working on Lisa’s behalf, was another attempt of Brandi’s to join the chess team. Listen honey – stick to checkers.
Somewhere in the murky wilds between last season of RHOBH and this one, Brandi and Kim Richards became friends. Necessity is the mother of invention so the two people no one else wants to be friends with get stuck with each other. At least there were wigs!
Lipsa promises that she’ll deal with the crazy by trying to remain true to what’s important – herself! “I am going to be very authentic, be myself and stay grounded. Don’t react to anything, but be the better person and be supportive and empower the women,” she describes.
“Lisa and I had always been close,” shared Kyle. “In the past couple of years, we have had our moments and a lot of obstacles to work through. However, life is too short, and I wanted to talk it out and be able to start from scratch. I missed the days of us just laughing and having fun. I wanted to get to a strong enough place where we wouldn’t go backwards again or let outside negativity influence our friendship. I think that in order to do that you have to have these conversations. Brushing it under the carpet and just “moving on” is always a temporary solution.”
Brandi admits to the slap, but swears Bravo made it look a lot worse than it was! “I swear they added a sound effect to it! I might have been there and I don’t think it was like that!” Brandi won’t reveal what prompted her to lash out (RHOA’s success?!) – nor will she spill whether or not Lisa retaliated!
Brandi starts with her visit to Yolanda, “I went to see Yolanda for a visit at her place after spending a couple months in NYC doing Celebrity Apprentice and really having been unable to keep in touch with anyone. I arrived home from NYC to our house lease that was up and only one day to move my entire family out of our house, having not yet found a new place to live. It was a very stressful time, but I knew I could handle it, and I did.. Welcome to three months of the boys and I being gypsies.”
Last night we welcomed Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills season 5! Yay! Although some things have changed – LISA RINNA IS HERE! – many things have stayed the same. Lisa Vanderpump is still fabulous and everyone is blaming her for being so, while pretending they are SO OVER that Lisa is able to get away with being snooty, snippy, and a little dismissive because she’s fun and glamorous, and pink – like a pussy!
Also, staying the same, although looking a bit more, shall we say, tweaked – is Brandi Glanville! Brandi’s face is ’bout to freeze in the the sour lemon sneer if she don’t shape up, because she is getting more bitter by the second. Brandi wants everyone to forget that she led last season’s mutiny against Lisa – correction: she wants Lisa to forget, but she also wants Lisa to accept that it was her fault that Brandi was forced to do it.
Things I realize about Brandi: she just can’t be happy, she doesn’t want to grow-up. She must have drama, and she’s only all about the truth and people owning up when it’s about other people.
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is back, but before we welcome the new, let’s recap the old! In season 4 the cast tried to tackle issues of betrayal, religion, and race mixed with diamonds, rosé and glamorous vacations. It didn’t work.
They also tried to drastically alter the status quo by staging a coup against Lisa Vanderpump. That also didn’t work. But it did teach us a very important lesson about intergalactic geography: Brandi Glanville is an alien invader from Planet Trash! That explains everything…
Last season introduced us to one-failure-wonders, Carlton Gebbia and Joyce Giraud (or shall we call her Hoyce, depending on how much we’ve had to drink?). Carlton made her storyline about how she was the living embodiment of all the bored middle-aged ladies yearning for their husbands to become Christian Grey, but instead they got stuck with Mr. Green who is working his boring job to pay for boob jobs, instead of tying them up with twist-ties and beating them with bananas atop the Etruscan marble breakfast nook while the maid vacuums in the background. Carlton decided to prove that a gal can have both by building a parents playroom (with the help of her icky nanny) and taking her MIL to the Hustler store for bikinis.