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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

In the beginning there was a housewives franchise for any given night of the week, and then, there was Watch What Happens Live.  I must admit I was beside myself when Andy Cohen decided to make his fete a nightly deal.  I guess I overestimated the amount of guests who would entertain me in the clubhouse.  I don't care about has-beens or random current reality stars that know nothing of all things Bravo.  I want dish and dirt and a worthy jackhole.

Ask and ye shall receive.  My Monday night WWHL was everything I like to see happening in the clubhouse.  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Taylor Armstrong was present to clear up any rumors that she needed and intervention, and, I'll be honest, as much as I dislike her on the show, she was pretty funny and self-depreciating with ol' Andy.  Joining her was The Hills' Kristin Cavalarri who looked fabulous after just having a baby boy.  MTV's resident bitch was likeable and (dare I say it?) hilarious during her debut night in the clubhouse. 

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies got wild and out in Ojai. I have to say last night was one of the most fun episodes ever and it makes you think if they all got their panties out of a wad, relaxed, and spoke to each other like normal people instead of obsessing over petty drama they'd all get along and be fun. But alas, that would be too easy and far too mature. 

Things begin with the girls still in Ojai where Brandi Glanville has just dropped the eff-bomb at Buckingham Palace in front of Queen Elizabeth and her corgis. Oh, wait –  no she didn't. She just said it to Adrienne Maloof, but the way these ninnies were acting you'd think this was the most official, classy, elegant prestigious dinner in all the world. I don't know why they were all getting up on their high horses acting like they've never said F-U before when we all know they use it. Right, Splits Richards?

Anyway, Brandi and Kim Richards were doing a big Ojai love-in and pouring their hearts out when Adrienne gets on the intercom with her whiny, donkey voice to announce that someone is crying in Aisle 5 and clean-up is required. Repeat, someone – ahem KIM – is crying!

So Brandi was forced to tell Adrienne to eff off and everyones' heads snapped around like Adrienne just announced that someone was peeing on a Chanel bag. Their mouths dropped, and they glared at Brandi as if she was pee culprit desecrating the holy statue. 

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Last week I had the opportunity to speak to Marisa Zanuck, the new Housewife in training on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Marisa is definitely frank, outspoken, and unafraid to give her opinion – which means she'll be perfect for the show! Marisa joined the show as a friend of Kyle Richards and although she's nervous about the reaction to her debut she's excited to share her unconventional but fabulous BH life with viewers. 

Marisa discussed her experience filming with the girls, and most importantly dished on who's a bitch, who's awesome, and who's exactly the same behind the scenes as they are on camera!

Below is an excerpt from our conversation. 

Why Did You Decide To Join RHOBH?

"I decided to do the show because I thought it would be a lot of fun. I know Kyle really well. I thought it could open up some doors or maybe expose me to the world in a way that I wouldn't normally be exposed." 

Do You Think Kyle Is Accurately Portrayed On The Show?

"Yes. 100 percent." 

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Last week's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ended with a big F-U from Brandi Glanville. Brandi was just trying to have an earnest heart-to-heart with former nemesis Kim Richards when Adrienne Maloof stuck her surgically altered nose right in the middle of things. 

In the wake of the F-bomb heard 'round Ojai, Kyle Richards is surprisingly defending Brandi and admitting that perhaps Adrienne should have left well enough alone. 

"The dinner started out really nice. I was happy to be out with the girls and really having fun. All the girls were really bonding and getting along," Kyle recalls in her Bravo blog.

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I feel like there is a giant math equation regarding how much gossip we hear about the show in proportion to the ratio of time a housewives franchise has been on the air divided by the amount of certified crazies in the cast and then taken to the third power of the square root of how many on-air divorces occur multiplied by the number of husbands we think could potentially be cheating.  It's like E=MC² up in here!

Given all of those mathematical conundrums, it only makes sense we'd be hearing a lot the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at the moment.  We've got the crazies, we've got the divorces, and I have some suspicions about some of those husbands!  First up, we've got Brandi Glanville engaging in yet another Twitter war with home wrecker (don't sue me!) LeAnn Rimes and more news on the Adrienne Maloof front.

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You may not agree, but I think Brandi Glanville is the spice so needed for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  She's brash, she's offensive, she's everything her counterparts want to be but pretend that they're not.  You add in the fact that Brandi's ex-husband Eddie Cibrian couldn't keep it in his pants, and she proceeds to run into his former mistresses throughout 90210, and you've got a great reality recipe for drama.

I know y'all recall the SUR party last season (you know, the one Cedric  Martinez tried to crash, not to be confused with this season's Villa Blanca party when Adrienne Maloof sent that passive aggressive jungle arrangement to Lisa Vanderpump) when Brandi ran smack dab into SUR waitress Scheana Marie who had once gotten to know Eddie really well…if you catch my drift.

Fast forward to Scheana starring in Bravo's new Vanderfabulous spin-off Vanderpump Rules, and she's all over the media yet again for that unfortunate run in with Brandi.  Of course, Brandi handled the situation with as much class as Brandi can…she did a better job than I would have expected.  From previews, we know that the women will come face-to-face yet again (thanks producers!) to finally say their peace, and now media outlets are revisiting that original awkward meeting as Bravo hypes its newest reality show.

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First of all let me apologize for this beast being so late, but good things come to those who wait, right? Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, boy did we witness some groveling. It was down in the dirt, on your knees, begging kind of groveling as Queen Lisa Vanderpump barely acknowledged her subject's pleas for redemption. 

I should say last night's episode was a study in relationship building and friendship, but also in status. New alliances were drawn, and enemy lines began to be sorted out. Also, the ladies took a trip to Ojai where apparently magic happens. But no amount of magic can make these girls behave in public. 

Things begin with two ladies afflicted by a curse of over botoxing and an unfortunate affinity for ugly blouses facing off in a quaint little restaurant. One lady, a benevolent but stern queen, and the other a marginally disgraced princess who is quivering and anxious with anticipation. Yes, Adrienne Maloof has realized she made enemies with the wrong lady, because while Lisa can be sweet as rosé, she will cut a bitch faster than she'll discard a wilting rose. 

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Well this is quite the quandary, isn't it! New Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Yolanda Foster used to be married to Mohamed Hadid, a friend of Lisa Vanderpump

On a recent episode of Real Housewives of Miami, Joe Francis was heard accusing Joanna Krupa of sleeping with Mohamed. Well now a new report accuses Joanna of being the blame for breaking up Yolanda and Mohamed's marriage! 

It's well known that Joanna has quite the past (or at least there are many accusations leading that way), but is she really a homewrecking harlot? I dare say this may be our first case of cross-cities Housewives feuding, but I can't wait until Andy Cohen books these two on an appearance for WWHL together! 

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