Real Housewives of Dallas

Real Housewives of Dallas recap

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Dallas, families bonded while friendships and frienemyships were torn apart. All at the hands of LeeAnne Locken. You can take the girl out of the carny, but you can’t take the carny out of the girl!  

At Brandi Redmond‘s house, it is no surprise that her morning begins with poop. Dog poop, specifically, from the dog who has a name which isn’t “..butt.” They also have a rabbit. Apparently Brandi’s mom is running around Texas randomly collecting animals and dispensing them on her doorstep just to annoy Brandi‘s husband, Bryan. The only prerequisite is the animal must be snow white, (and incontinent?).

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LeeAnne Locken

Real Housewives of Dallas star LeeAnn Locken was one of Andy’s guests tonight on Watch What Happens Live, which wasn’t quite so live since he was at the MET gala and all…  LeeAnne shocked us all with NICE things to say about co-star Brandi Redmond and she also revealed that her longtime boyfriend Rich already bought an engagement ring…

Andy comments that a lot of viewers were shocked at the amount of pink blush LeeAnne had on at the Mad Hatter party, he asks what was up with that. LeeAnne chalks it up to the long day of filming and reapplying. (but doesn’t explain why it’s been that bright in nearly every episode since)  I will say that on tonight’s episode of WWHL her makeup is MUCH better.

Brandi Redmond

Brandi Redmond may have gotten wild at a strip club on last week’s Real Housewives Of Dallas, but she wants you know to know Jesus was along for the ride and God was steering the wheel. 

“…I am not here to judge others but to give grace on situations, relationships and know that through my relationship with God it has allowed me to be who I am,” begins Brandi. “Who am I? I am a free spirit that is very light hearted and loves life to the fullest.”

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Stephanie and Cary get a taste of LeeAnne

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Dallas, marital issues caused everyone’s favorite classy lady Brandi Redmond to get wild at a strip club, meanwhile everyone’s other favorite (self-proclaimed) classy lady LeeAnne Locken continued her tirade as a poor man’s carnie attraction version of Emily Post! Now she’s making threats about bowing people. Is this the middle ages? Like bow and arrows?

Brandi’s husband Bryan constantly travels. She feels like he never pays attention to her, which must explain her clown makeup? Brandi and Stephanie Hollman hire baby sitters for a mom’s night out of getting “white girl drunk” (Jesus turns water into wine, and white girls turn it into bad behavior!). After a few glasses of champagne, they invite Cary Deuber to join them. She agrees to “one drink.”

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Thomas Ravenel Cary Dueber

There was a lot of shade in the Clubhouse tonight! Real Housewives of Dallas star Cary Deuber and Southern Charm’s Thomas Ravenel were hanging with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live. Thomas and Cary both snarked on their co-stars and their co-stars hit right back via Twitter during the show. 

Andy starts out reading one of Kathryn Dennis’s tweets from tonight to get Thomas’s thoughts on them. (see them all at the end of this post) The Tweet he read was, “I’ve heard a lot, I’ve read a lot. & I’ll only say this: Thomas knows what to do and what to stop doing to see his children.” Thomas plays dumb and says he doesn’t know what she’s referring to.

Real Housewives of Dallas

While some of the Real Housewives of Dallas come across better in their blogs than they do on the show, LeeAnne Locken is not one of them. She’s a mess on and off the show.

LeeAnne has major issues with Brandi, and she did not appreciate being told she’s selfish, “When Stephanie Hollman sent me her apology email I felt like I was dealing with an adult. Someone who see’s a problem and approaches it head on. I both appreciate and am grateful for those kinds of interactions. I did feel Brandi Redmond owed me an apology. To begin any conversation with ‘you are selfish for sharing your story of being molested as a child’ is just flat out mercilessness! I can’t imagine approaching a “victim” of any tragedy and telling them they are selfish!! Of all the people I have spoken to from domestic violence shelters to attendees of gala’s raising funds for their clients – SHARING MY STORY HELPS!!”

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Stephanie Hollman and Brandi Redmond

To me, Stephanie Hollman comes across as a spineless people pleaser – not to mention a bit of a ditz – on Real Housewives of Dallas. But I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised by her blog this week. Stephanie makes a lot of good points while defending her bestie, Brandi Redmond, and calling out LeeAnne Locken.

Stephanie expresses her appreciation for the Mad Hatters luncheon, adding, “I do not mind splurging on clothes, jewelry, or a great handbag that I can wear or use for other events but, I cannot bring myself to spend thousands of dollars on a hat that I will only wear for 2 hours. Brandi and I thought it would be a cute idea to make our own hats for this event. I was excited to do an arts and crafts hat project with Brandi. I knew it would be fun and give us a chance to catch up on everything that happened at Marie‘s cocktail party. Also, I felt the need to come clean about writing LeeAnne an apology email and was nervous on how Brandi would take it.”

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Real Housewives Of Dallas Mad Hatter's Tea

Real Housewives Of Dallas is sending mixed messages: is this show about poop or charity? I don’t think they go together unless the charity has something to do with colonoscopies. Also, the ladies are so immature! Am I watching Real Housewives Of Kindergarten? If the rest of the season is going to be bathroom humor (teeheehee) with LeeAnne Locken pursing her lips and growling over charity, then someone needs to get their poopin’ potootie back into the editing room! 

The drama between LeeAnne and Brandi Redmond has grown legs – specifically Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader legs. LeeAnne and Brandi’s mutual friend Marie, the woman who hosted the charity event where Brandi and LeeAnne argued, invites Brandi to show her daughter some DCC dance moves. (Has anyone ever watched that Cowboys cheerleader reality show on CMT? GUILTY PLEASURE!).

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