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Real Housewives of Miami

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The reality TV viewer numbers for Sunday and Monday are in.

On Sunday, the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey, as well as Joe and Teresa Giudice's sit down with Andy Cohen, attracted 2.502 million viewers. The season average thus far is 2.398 million. 

Keeping Up with the Kardashians suffered a considerable drop – with only 1.799 million fans tuning in – following its four week hiatus. Season two of Hollywood Exes continues to disappoint. 581,000 viewers watched this week.

On Monday, 653,000 devoted fans watched Joanna and Romain's awkward sexy times on Real Housewives of Miami this week. RHOM lost 400,000+ viewers since mid-September and 700,000+ since the season three premiere. 

Basketball Wives, which garnered 1.816 million viewers, and RHONJ were the only two shows to see an increase this week.  The relationship drama on Teen Mom 3 attracted 1.213 million viewers. That's down from last week's 1.429.

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The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 3

It seems some ladies on Real Housewives of Miami want to stage a coup and overthrow the Mayor of Miami, Lea Black

"The bus that's running over me this week is leaking hot air, not water," Lea announces in her Bravo blog before launching into a discussion about the devious deeds of her castmates. 

First up: Adriana de Moura! "Adriana still takes no responsibility for anything, she blames Frederic for the non-wedding marriage and even blames me for her problems with Joanna [Krupa]," Lea begins.

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Last night on Real Housewives of Miami bridges to the past were burned as everyone focused on getting over it, moving forward, and embracing the positive. Except for Lenny Hochstein – he embraced the liposuction and actualized his dream of looking like Romain Zago of being a swimsuit model. 

Things begin with Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa meeting for breakfast to discuss why they hate each other. Joanna stuck to non-alcoholic beverages and that ensured that no eggs were thrown in anyone's face (boring!) despite Adriana being an hour late. In the end Adriana apologizes for calling Joanna "Ho-anna" and insinuating she was an escort, although she tries to blame the whole thing on Lea Black! All is good… for now! Personally I don't know how Joanna resisted the urge to knock that goofy white hat off Adriana's head. 

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lisa-hochstein

A Housewife will hawk just about anything!  From cookbooks to hair care, these ladies are all about putting their name on a product.  However, what about the stuff that they use before they put their names on something? When fans compliment these women on their hair or their skin or their donkey booty, the housewives got these from a particular product…and not one that they created themselves!  

It's only after they are recognized for this attribute that some handler believes it's a good idea for said housewife to create her own line of butt-lifting underwear/press-on nails/horse shampoo/insert product here.  Am I right?  Let's take Lisa Hochstein from Real Housewives of Miami, shall we?

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lisa-hochstein-karent-sierra-rhom (5)

It pays to have connections!  Lisa Hochstein chipped her tooth at 1 a.m. and thankfully she has friends in all the right places – Karent Sierra DDS to the rescue. 

Lisa chipped the tooth at her friend Carrie's birthday celebration and her former Real Housewives of Miami co-star Karent took the emergency call, offering to meet Lisa at her office.  Lisa shared Tweets and photos of the traumatic morning, "@karentsierra and I at 1 am in her office fixing my chipped tooth. I don't follow instructions well lol #acid #dentist #drkarentsierra this should be on #rhom.  Came to my rescue at 1am! #loveher #goodfriend best #dentist ever". 

Karent fixed her up and was glad to see Lisa's "hillbilly smile" gone.  "Happy to have been able to take care of my friend @lisahochstein #dentistsaregoodfriendstohave.  Looking fabulous Miss Lisa! No more hillbilly smile  @lisahochstein #smile #teeth #emergencydentist #dentalspa".  (How many hashtags can they cram in one Tweet?)

This is why it's important to never burn those reality TV bridges, ladies!

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real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-ratings-lisa-hochstein

The reality TV viewer numbers for Sunday and Monday are in. Honestly, there isn't a whole lot to report, as most of the audiences are holding steady. 

Real Housewives of New Jersey didn't seem to be affected by the terribly boring Emmy Awards, which managed nearly 18 million viewers.  Melissa's singing and the Posche 2 party brought 2.476 million viewers (compared to last week's 2.404) to Bravo.  Will Stiletto Gate give the season finale a boost?

Also on Sunday, 2.010 million Kody fans tuned in to the season finale of Sister Wives. 1.903 million stuck around for the Whiners, err, Wives Tell All special.

On Monday night, Real Housewives of Miami and Basketball Wives fell hard, each losing roughly 250,000 viewers. This week, only 812,000 tuned in to see Joanna and Adriana's wedding prep, and the hot mess that was Tasha's weave bar grand opening attracted just 1.723 million.

Teen Mom 3 remained steady with the baby daddy drama and 1.429 million viewers.  Mondays are a bitch?  Maybe for Bravo - but not for MTV. 

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ana-quincoces-fiance

Last season Ana Quincoces was sobbing buckets at the prospect of actually getting a divorce. 

And now the former Real Housewives of Miami star is engaged! Ana announced the happy news on twitter, she also showed off her ring on The View last Friday. 

Screen Shot 2013-09-24 at 2.32.48 PM

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Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami in New York

Apparently while many of us struggle to pay rent, some of us struggle to find ways to spend our money. Oh to be a Real Housewife of Miami

Lisa Hochstein found true love when she received her first Birkin and she's been on a path to reclaim that feeling ever since. In her embarrassingly gushing sollioquy espousing the glory that is Hermes last night she bounced up and down like a five-year-old in a candy store at the thought of amassing more of these glorious $20,000 creatures. They are, after all, so rare that every Housewife in every city owns like 9 of them. #Firkin

In a new blog, Fembot continues her Birkin lovefest. Does she think Hermes will pony up a free bag if she praises them enough? "Lea [Black] and I both love Birkins. She is a seasoned collector," Lisa begins, wishing upon wishes that she were Lea Black instead of upstart Lisa Hochstein. 

"I know it sounds ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a handbag, but I like to look at them as an investment. They hold their value forever if you take good care of them," Lisa explains. How about looking at a college degree as an investment? "Although I have no intention of ever selling my Birkins, many times they are resold for a much higher price." Oh – well good to know. In fact, that's how she can get more. Screw the waiting list and offer to pay off some of the other Housewives debt in exchange for one of their old Birkins! 

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